Podcast Episode 25 – Without Compromise (part 8)

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series.  Today’s discussion is the eighth in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website.  The big idea we are discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way.  It’s really a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith.  And today, that begins by understanding your purpose.

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In the matching article to this podcast on the Leadership Ezra website this week, I talked about the story of how God moved me from a ministry in Christian counseling to a ministry in Christian education.  Here’s the rest of that story.  I left off in the article with a phone call that I made in desperation that opened the door to a job as a temporary teacher in a Christian school.  With no other options opening up, and at my wife’s suggestion, I contacted the church she had attended in high school to ask if they had a counseling position available.  They said they did not, but immediately transferred me to the office of their Christian school.  When they picked up the call, I gave them my name and told them who I was married to, and they begin singing the praises of my wife as one the most well-loved students that had graduated from that school, and invited me in to apply.  I said that my background was in Bible and counseling, but not education, and they told that a teacher who taught Bible, Psychology, Family Living, and ancient history had suddenly resigned the day before, and wanted to talk to me about at least taking a temporary position to help with those classes. Before the end of the day, I had met with them in person, been interviewed, and was offered the job.  Two things happened next.  First, almost every other place to which I had applied called me back about interviewing for a job AFTER I had already accepted the job at this school, and second, I began to get excited about the possibility of shaping the minds and worldviews of students.

Less than a month later, as I started teaching students in a classroom, I began to discover a passion for impacting both the minds and the hearts of these students, and began to connect for that purpose.  I discovered a passion that I didn’t know was there.  That redirection from God led to a 30-year ministry in Christian education.

That’s what we see in Daniel’s experience Daniel chapter 1. I would be certain that his personal career plan and life goals did not include being taken as a captive to another country and being forced into their training program. I’m sure he had different plans.  But when God unexpectedly changed his direction, he embraced it with a faithful commitment to God.  From our historical viewpoint when we read the account, it becomes obvious to us that God had specifically equipped Daniel for a purpose that God had in mind.  And in being obedient to that, Daniel found his purpose and his fulfillment, so much so that he served in a leadership capacity not just for the king that first took him captive, but for kings (and kingdoms) that would come after.

In the same way, God has specifically equipped and prepared you for a purpose, and He continues to use the people and circumstances in your life to shape you for that purpose.  In a big-picture view, we each have a story that is a chapter in God’s great story.  His story is much bigger than ours, but He intentionally uses ours as part of His.  When we understand that we get to play a part in what He is doing, we can get excited about the purpose He has for us.  We can see our lives through that lens, we can begin to align our identity and our experiences with what He is doing in and through us.

The truth is, God has a purpose, and He knows what it is and where it is going, even when we can’t see the whole picture.  What we can do is learn to identify the things we do well and the things we love to do, and pray for the wisdom to see the opportunities that God puts in front of us that match those things.  And once again, realize that God will be using all of our past experiences and relationships to help develop that purpose.  Interestingly for me, as God broadened my passion and purpose to helping Christian schools with brokenness and struggle, one of the schools He moved me to required the wisdom and ability to help people heal from great wounds.  In other words, it required counseling abilities.  Although that was almost 15 years after He moved me away from counseling ministry, I could see how that had been part of His intentional preparation for the work I would be doing in Christian schools down the road.

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The bottom line is that you have a purpose, and it’s not random.  God has equipped and gifted you, and He has put people and circumstances in your life as part of that preparation.  Learn to see your life experiences through that filter, and embrace what God gives you to do.  Find your purpose in His plan.

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Without Compromise, pt. 8: Finding Purpose

When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon).  When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students.  As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”). 

The underlying basis of the story is this:  In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured.  In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3).  Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20).  But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.  

How did they do it?  One way was by understanding their purpose.

When I graduated from high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I only knew that God had called me to serve Him in ministry.  When I graduated from college, I still wasn’t completely sure what I wanted to do with my life, so I went to grad school.  When I finished grad school, I started doing what I thought I wanted to do with my life, but within a few short years, God changed my direction.  That’s when I finally figured out my purpose.

Because didn’t know for sure what I wanted to do when I was in college (other than perhaps teaching and mentoring in higher education, which is what I have now come full circle to end up doing at this stage of my life), I took the next step of grad school and earned a Master’s degree in marriage and family counseling.  With that degree in hand, I started working in a Christian counseling center under the mentorship of the director, with the hope and plan that I would eventually become the director of the center and have my own counseling and therapy practice.  As I was developing my experience and skill, I also found myself at times struggling with joy and contentment.  But it was what I had committed to do, so I threw myself into it, and was becoming effective in marriage counseling and in premarital counseling as specialties.  That is until God knocked my feet out from under me. 

The counseling director had an accident that was going to put him out of commission for at least 6 months, so he closed down his practice, which left me without a job.  I was mad at God and decided to move my family and go on to medical school for psychiatry or neuromedicine.  In my anger at God, I had decided that I just needed to do something that made as much money as possible, and I would support other people in ministry but I wasn’t going to serve God in ministry any longer.  We moved from Michigan to Florida (by my wife’s family), and I started applying for a job – any job – that would help make ends meet until I started medical school.  The problem I ran into was that in spite of all the applications I submitted, no one called me back.  I was getting angrier at God, and then one day my wife suggested I contact the church she attended in high school and see if they were hiring a counselor.  I didn’t want to, but felt like I had no other choice.  It was that call, however, that opened the door to a job as a temporary teacher in a Christian school, which, in turn, became the purpose and direction that God had for my life.  That’s another part of the story, one that I will talk a little more about, in the podcast episode that matches this article this week.

That’s a lesson we learn from Daniel, in verses 17-21, which says, “17 As for these four young men, God gave them knowledge and skill in all literature and wisdom; and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams.  18 Now at the end of the days, when the king had said that they should be brought in, the chief of the eunuchs brought them in before Nebuchadnezzar. 19 Then the king interviewed them, and among them all none was found like Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah; therefore they served before the king. 20 And in all matters of wisdom and understanding about which the king examined them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers who were in all his realm. 21 Thus Daniel continued until the first year of King Cyrus.”

At the conclusion of their educational experience and training, Daniel and his friends were appointed to serve the King in leadership roles and did so for the remainder of that King’s rule (and during the reign of the next two rulers as well).  God had gifted them with specific talents, and abilities, and they had grown and developed in maturity and skill, all while maintaining their godliness and character.  When the King administered their “final exam,” they scored the highest grades and were placed in a position where they could have an impact.  In the end, it became clear that God had a purpose, and had given them purpose.  Similar to what God had done with Joseph’s captivity in Egypt, God used the captivity of these Hebrew children as a means to position them in roles within the highest office of the land so that He could carry out His purpose.  What the king was looking for was skill in understanding and wisdom, and (wouldn’t you know) that’s exactly where God gifted these Hebrew children.  As for his part, Daniel had embraced this mission and calling and was intentional about submitting to God’s purpose at every step.

Likewise, for you and me, all of the events, circumstances, and people in our lives are all things that God is using and has used to place us where we need to be in order to fulfill His purpose. You see, God has a greater purpose, and He has prepared, equipped, and placed you in a particular context within His greater purpose for a reason. Remember that your story is one chapter in God’s Grand Story, and within the context of God’s Grand Story, you can find the meaning and purpose in your chapter. Your responsibility is to seek out, embrace, and carry out that purpose. How does that happen?  To oversimplify, you need to write down the things you love doing and the things you do well; pray that God will give you the clarity and discipline to develop those; and pray that God will put the right opportunity in front of you at the right time. When it appears, seize that opportunity.

Like the #JeremyCamp song “These Days” says, “I believe that you and I are in the right place at the right time . . . Maybe we were made for these days.” That’s the Lesson of Purpose:  You have a part and a purpose in God’s story.  See your life experiences through that lens and find where your identity and abilities align with the opportunities God places in front of you. There, you can find purpose.

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Quote Your Dad

“God works.” Jack McMaster

When my dad made this statement, he was implying two things:

  1. God is always at work for His purpose and your good.
  2. Living in obedience to God produces the best results.
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Podcast Episode 24 – Without Compromise (part 7)

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series.  Today’s discussion is the seventh in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website.  The big idea we are discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way.  It’s really a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith.  And today, that begins by trusting God with the outcomes.

In the matching article to this podcast on the Leadership Ezra website this week, I talked about an experience in my ministry of Christian Education that put me in the position of having to decide whether or not I was going to trust God with the outcome of that experience. If you want to get the full story of what happened that led to what I’m about to talk about, you’ll need to read the website article.  But here’s where I left off.  I went home that day and told my family that my position had been eliminated and that it would end in 28 days. But then, with a smile on my face, I told them that God had a perfect plan for us that we could trust.  I said that He was doing this for a reason, and therefore, we could fully trust Him and didn’t need to have any anxiety.  We prayed together as a family and committed to having peace and confidence in what He would do.

The next day (on a Wednesday), I prayed, and then I updated my resume and began to look for places to apply.  By Thursday afternoon, I had copies of my resume ready to go and in envelopes, with about a dozen different places to send them. We prayed over them, put them in the mail, and consciously determined to trust God with the outcome, choosing not to have any anxiety.

The next day, my daughter came downstairs and told us that she had been praying and that God had impressed on her that I would be getting a phone call the following week on Tuesday and would have an interview on Wednesday.  We assured her that God could do that, but that even if He didn’t, we would still trust Him. She was adamant that that’s what God had told her He would do.  The next Tuesday morning, as she left for work, all she said was, “Text me when you get a call.”  I left right after her for work, and when I sat down in my office, almost immediately the phone rang.  You guessed it.  It was a phone call from a school in another state, and I had an hour-long conversation with someone who finished the call by asking me if could do a conference call interview with their search committee the next day.  My daughter’s response when I told her was simply, “I told ya!”  The end result was that literally 3 weeks later, we unloaded a moving truck in a different state, starting a new job at a new school.  I didn’t know until after the fact that my resume landing on their desk was just as much a miracle of God’s timing for them as it was for me.  We were to learn over the next couple of years that there were clear reasons why God had uprooted and moved us so quickly, but that wouldn’t have happened the same way if we hadn’t been committed to fully trusting Him for the outcomes and then responding accordingly.

 That’s the same mindset that Daniel and his friends exhibited in Daniel chapter 1. They were uprooted from their homes and families, against their will, and taken to a place that was unfamiliar, lonely, and possibly antagonistic to their own culture and faith.  Yet they chose to have an attitude of complete trust in what God was doing.  In their case, they refused to compromise their faith by adhering to their dietary laws and trusted that God would still keep them healthy.  They refused to bow to an idol of the king even when the consequence was a fiery furnace.  And years later, Daniel refused to cease praying to God even when the consequence was a lion’s den.  In all of those cases, they trusted God for the outcome, regardless of what the outcome might be.  They knew that God had the best plan in mind for them, and they trusted wholeheartedly.

What this teaches us is the importance of trusting God for the right outcome in our own circumstances.  The hard part is often trusting Him even when the outcome might be different than what we anticipated or wanted.  But if you and I believe that God is real and that the Bible is true, then we can completely trust what God is doing.  That means, therefore, leaving the outcome in His hands because He has a purpose that He intends to accomplish for His benefit and for ours.  We still need to act, doing what is right, and intentionally planning and moving wisely toward the goal and purpose in front of us, but all while keeping in mind that God – not us – is in control of the outcome and end result.

So, when you face circumstances that are frightening, unknown, or unexpected, Daniel has modeled for us how to lean into God, and how to be confident that He is going to do what is best.  Knowing that, we can trust Him for the outcome.  That doesn’t mean that we stop doing the right things.  In fact, the outcome God brings about is typically directly tied to how we are living in obedience to Him, so what we really need to do is to first obey God without compromising and then trust Him for the outcome. 

The bottom line is God has a purpose with you in mind, so you can trust Him for the outcome and let go of the anxiety in the circumstances.  I also think it’s a lot easier to do this if you take some time and make an “altar” list – a list of personal experiences where God has worked in an unexpected way, as touchstones to strengthen your confidence in God, to serve as your constant reminder that you can trust God with the outcomes. Learn to see and trust His hand at work in your life.

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Without Compromise, pt. 7: What Happens Next?

When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon).  When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students.  As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”). 

The underlying basis of the story is this:  In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured.  In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3).  Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20).  But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.  

How did they do it?  One way was by trusting God with the outcomes.

My calling has been to serve in Christian ministry, and specifically in Christian Schools.  More pointedly, God called me to serve Christian schools that were broken, hurting, dysfunctional, or underperforming in some way, to be used by Him to help restore these schools to environments that honored God and performed with excellence. In one of those schools, I served as the secondary principal during the economic struggle and housing market collapse around 2006 and 2007.  This school was in Florida, which was hit particularly hard by this crisis. One of the results was that the enrollment of this school dropped from about 900 students to about 550 students in a little over 2 years.  Near the end of my last year at that school, my boss assured me that my job was safe even with the enrollment decline, so I continued on with the normal end-of-year activities, including chaperoning the senior trip.  However, on my first day back into the office after the trip (and also right after the graduation weekend) he called me into his office to tell me my position had been eliminated, and my job would end in 3 ½ weeks. At that moment, I was confronted with the opportunity to decide how I would respond.  I could panic, or I could lean into God and place the outcomes of the next few weeks into His hands.  In full transparency, my typical response would be to panic about my ability to take care of my family, but in this instance, I suddenly felt the peace of God as He brought to my memory Proverbs 16:9, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” I decided almost immediately that I believed in God and His Word and, therefore, could trust that He was directing my steps.  So, instead of turning to fear, I smiled, looked at my boss, and said, “Thank you, I know that this means that God has something even better for me, and I am trusting His provision for my family.” 

I think that’s the mindset we see in Daniel, in chapter 1, verses 14-16, which say, “14 So he . . .  tested them ten days. 15 And at the end of ten days their features appeared better and fatter in flesh than all the young men who ate the portion of the king’s delicacies. 16 Thus the steward took away their portion of delicacies and the wine that they were to drink, and gave them vegetables.”  What we see is that Daniel and his friends had negotiated a 10-day trial with their boss in a group experiment.  (It’s important to note here that by doing it as a group, so they were able to keep each other accountable and provide support, strength, and encouragement for one another.)  In this experiment, they were willing to place the outcome in God’s hands and let objective measurable results indicate the future course, trusting those results to God.  At the end of the 10 days, they measured the data (appearance and weight), and the data supported Daniel’s request.  Daniel had maintained his faith, trusted God, found a rational, reasonable, and gracious way to pursue a solution, and God responded in a way that fulfilled His purpose.

This makes me wonder, was the outcome supernatural or simply the product of a healthy diet?   They were eating healthier foods and ended up looking and feeling healthier (therefore likely a correlation to their diet). However, the speed and magnitude of the change in appearance were completely unnatural and hard to believe (therefore likely affected by God to honor their faithfulness and protect His name).  My conclusion is that it was both. As He usually does, a sovereign God used a natural process (and magnified it) to accomplish His purpose).  Regardless, Daniel and his friends were willing to trust God with the outcome: they were not trusting in their particular strategy or in the outcome they were expecting to see; rather they were trusting in God.

The end result of my own personal experience of trusting God with the outcome when the future was unknown was that God provided in an incredible, clearly God-caused, and perfect way to meet our needs and move us to the next step that He had for the life of our family (that’s a story for another time, perhaps on the podcast that will along with this article). But that’s what God does, He uses our circumstances to bring about the result that brings Him glory and furthers the Kingdom.

That leads to my questions for you: whether it is life outcomes or project/task outcomes, how are you navigating these things as part of your faith? Are you willing and able to trust God with the outcomes even if it’s not what you wanted? Do you see God’s hand involved in the process and the purpose when you are tested?  My encouragement for you would be to take some time and make an “altar” list – a list of personal experiences where God has worked in an unexpected way, as touchstones to strengthen your confidence in God, to serve as your constant reminder that you can trust God with the outcomes.

The Lesson of Outcomes, therefore, is that God is involved and active in your life, even in the midst of trials and challenges.  You need to learn to see and trust His hand in the process and in the outcome. 

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Quote Your Dad

“People matter to God.” Pastor Pete Tokar, 2000

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Podcast Episode 23 – Without Compromise (part 6)

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series.  Today’s discussion is the fifth in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website.  The big idea we will be discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way.  It’s really going to be a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith.  And today, that begins by cultivating healthy relationships.

I want to share two different stories today because they help paint a picture of the two kinds of relationships we’re talking about. The first story happened during and after high school.  I had a classmate that I was friends with by virtue of the fact that we were on the same team, Track & Field, and competed together in the same event.  He was not a follower of Jesus, and I was, and some of his behavior choices were very different than mine.  I tried to be intentionally public about my faith and my choices, but I also tried to maintain a positive relationship with him.  That meant that I didn’t act the same way he did, but I also wasn’t harshly critical or condemning.  Instead, I treated him with love and grace. A couple of years later, I made a trip home from college to visit my family, and he called me.  He had recently learned that his mom had cancer, and that had shaken him.  He remembered the demonstration of my faith and reached out to me to talk about what was happening.  I don’t believe that would have happened if I hadn’t established the kind of relationship in the first place that made him want to do that.

The second story happened when we were still fairly young, with infant and toddler-aged children.  My wife had a health crisis that resulted in several hospitalizations, lots of testing, deteriorating health, and no answers (it would be another 15 years before a doctor discovered a slow-growing uncommon cancer in her endocrine system that was likely the cause of all that had been happening). In that season, there was a group of friends who were part of our church and who worked with us together at the Christian school where we were employed, who stepped into our lives to help us get through.  They helped with childcare, meals, doctor visits, and spiritual and emotional support.  The circle of relationships we had established helped carry us through a very difficult time.  There is a verse in Proverbs that says, “A neighbor nearby is better than a brother far away,” and this was a demonstration of that verse in our lives.

Broadly speaking, I believe there are two circles of relationships in our lives that are important.  One is what I would call our inner circle.  Those are the people who share our faith and values, which the New Testament calls our brothers and sisters in Christ.  They are the ones who can walk alongside us in our faith journey, providing encouragement, support, and accountability (just as we do for them). The other is what I would call our outer circle. Those are the people who intersect with our lives, but who do not share our faith.  They may be co-workers, neighbors, classmates, or anyone else we interact with regularly and on whom we can have some impact.  They are the ones who give us the opportunity to be a testimony of Jesus to open the door for sharing the Gospel with what we say and with how we live. With these people, we win the right to share Jesus with what we say when we have modeled Jesus to them with how we live.

In both cases, the support and the impact happen because there is relationship that has been established first. Daniel showed us both of these in Daniel 1.  He had 3 friends – Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego – who were with him in his journey.  Their support and accountability of each other helped them to stay strong in the midst of the pressure they were facing.  He also built a positive relationship with his boss, who was not a follower of Daniel’s God and interacted in a way that maintained that relationship even when there was tension and conflict. That relationship ended up allowing him the freedom and flexibility to protect his convictions.  I want to make sure I point out here that Daniel was never condescending or antagonistic in this relationship, much like what I see in the communication on social media today that comes out of the mouths of people who say they are believers, which I believe damages the opportunity for the impact of the Gospel.

C

Here’s what you need to take away:  It is important that you intentionally build and maintain relationships with like-minded followers of Jesus, so that you have support and accountability as you navigate the pressures of life.  It is also important that you intentionally cultivate healthy relationships with people around you who are not followers of Jesus.  This does two things.  It gives you the opportunity to impact them toward Jesus, and it gives you the support to stick to your values even if they may not hold those same values.  Both of these groups of relationships are important for us, and for the message of Jesus.

The bottom line, therefore, is that you need to build and maintain healthy relationships in both circles.  Years ago, I had a pastor preach a message in which the core idea, one that was frequently repeated throughout the message, was that “People matter to God.” All people matter to God.  So the lesson for you is this:  Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact.  Therefore, seek and build positive relationships among those who follow Jesus and those who don’t, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.

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Without Compromise, pt. 6: It’s About Who You Know

When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon).  When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students.  As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”). 

The underlying basis of the story is this:  In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured.  In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3).  Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20).  But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.  

How did they do it?  One way was by cultivating healthy relationships. 

We see this in Daniel 1, verses 8-14 which describe the circles of relationship that Daniel had formed, when it says, “. . . therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. 9 Now God had brought Daniel into the favor and goodwill of the chief of the eunuchs. 10 And the chief of the eunuchs said to Daniel, “I fear my lord the king, who has appointed your food and drink. For why should he see your faces looking worse than the young men who are your age? Then you would endanger my head before the king.”11 So Daniel said to the steward whom the chief of the eunuchs had set over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, 12 “Please test your servants for ten days, and let them give us vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then let our appearance be examined before you, and the appearance of the young men who eat the portion of the king’s delicacies; and as you see fit, so deal with your servants.” 14 So he consented with them in this matter . . .”

The reason why I talk about his circles of relationships as plural (“circles”, not “circle”) is that I think Daniel shows us two circles:  the inner circle, or those with whom he has a shared faith, which the New Testament would call our brothers and sisters in Christ; then there is the outer circle, or those who do not share his faith.  Daniel’s inner circle was made up of his three Jewish friends who were also captured with him and in the same program.  We see them referenced together in a couple of different places in this chapter.  His outer circle involved his work relationships, specifically the one he established with his “boss.”

What we learn about his circle of friends is that he had a personal “small group,” and therefore was not navigating his life challenges on his own.  What we learn about his outer circle is that Daniel built a good relationship with his boss even though his boss wasn’t a “Christian.” He knew that he (Daniel) represented God, and so he reflected that truth in the way he acted toward his boss.  Therefore, in this circumstance (asking for a different menu plan), he approached his boss with kindness, not contention.  When his boss denied the request (after all, the boss was protecting his own job), Daniel responded in a way that pushed back while still preserving the relationship and respecting his boss’s authority.  Going about it this way allowed him to model his faith and “prove” God.  What was also important in this was the fact that he had his inner circle of relationships, a community of believers around him in the process.

We need to understand that relationships matter (because people matter to God, as I heard my Pastor say in a sermon message repeatedly many years ago).  If you are going to be a reflection of Jesus to the world, then it is important that you build relationships with the people around you and that, at the same time, you carry your faith in a gentle and loving way, with compassion and consideration toward others.  Be intentional about seeking and building positive relationships.  And you need to do that within both of your circles:

  1. Your inner circle: the people you would call brothers and sisters in Christ, who you need for support, accountability, encouragement, and spiritual unity.  This is so important, in fact, that Scripture tells us in 1 John 4 that you can’t say you love God if you don’t love your brother.
  2. Your outer circle: the people that you come in contact with who are not followers of Jesus but who are probably paying attention to your faith and can be impacted by it. It is vital to remember that these people will most likely judge your faith by how you treat them. 

So, then, are you building the right kind of relationships with other Christians?  Are you being relational with people who don’t know Jesus? Like many of the characteristics of faith, those two things don’t happen by accident!  They happen by making sure that you always have a community of believers who make you better, and that you are consistently engaging with unbelievers, always in a loving way.  The lesson for you is this:  Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact.  Therefore, seek and build positive relationships among believers, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.

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Quote Your Dad

“It’s right to do right because it’s right.”

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Podcast Episode 22 – Without Compromise (part 5)

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series.  Today’s discussion is the fourth in the series, all of them based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and corresponding to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website.  The big idea we will be discussing is how you can navigate pressure – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way – without deviating from your values.  It’s really going to be a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith.  And today, that begins with matching your beliefs and your behavior.

When my children were young, somewhere in their early elementary years, I was involved in a very minor accident when I was driving them to school one morning.  I had pulled out of our neighborhood and onto the main road, which had a large intersection and a streetlight on the corner of our neighborhood community.  The light was red, so I pulled up to my place in the line of cars, in the middle lane behind another, and with cars on either side of me.  As I was sitting and waiting at the light, I glanced in my rearview mirror, and I could see a minivan approaching from behind me, and it did not appear to be slowing down. I could see in the mirror that the driver of the vehicle was looking at something in her hand, and not at the road, so she wasn’t seeing the collision she was about to cause.  In that moment of time, I knew I couldn’t move out of the way because of the cars around me.  I could see my kids in their car seats sitting behind me with no awareness of what was about to happen.  I remember thinking that I needed to not react before the accident happened, otherwise the kids might tense up, which could lead to more injury.  And then the lady looked up, and I could see the panic on her face as she slammed on her breaks and screeched to a stop, enough that when she did hit the back of my car, it was only a slight bump.  That’s when the kids jumped and asked if we had been hit by a car.

At that point, a very specific thought flashed through my mind, and it was this:  “My children will learn something important by how they see me respond or react right now, and they watch me to see if I really believe what I tell them when I talk to them about how important it is to treat each other with the love of Jesus, regardless of how the other person may have wronged them.”  Honestly, that was my first thought.  Therefore, I chose the words that came out of my mouth with intention, and I said, “Kids, somebody bumped into our car because she wasn’t paying attention, so she must be having some really hard things going on in her life. While I get out and check the car, why don’t you pray for her?”

The opportunity I had in front of my kids at that moment was the opportunity to reflect integrity, and my response didn’t happen by accident in spite of circumstances being caused by an accident.  I believe integrity is best described as consistent wholeness between what you say you believe, and what you do, and that is something you choose to do on purpose.  That’s what Daniel demonstrated in Chapter 1, v. 8, which tells us that he “purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself.”  In this situation, he knew what he believed, and made a conscious decision and commitment to ensure that the next actions he would demonstrate would match with what he knew he believed to be true.  He determined to show behavior that would be consistent with his beliefs.

What we need to understand is that people will judge our character – and specifically, our integrity – by how we live out our convictions and our stated values.  I once shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with a successful businessman who was a moral person, both with his business and with his family, but not a Christian.  When I pressed, he responded by telling me he knew a lot of people in the business world who said they were Christians and that he was more moral than they were, so why would he want what they were offering?  A lack of integrity on their part impacted his willingness to hear the message.

Here’s what you need to take away:  It doesn’t matter whether you think someone can see you or not.  Integrity is a character trait, and therefore, if it is part of your character, it will be exhibited no matter who is or is not watching. If you don’t have integrity when no one sees, you won’t have integrity when people are watching, either.  So forget about whether or not anyone will see. Instead, like Daniel, purpose in your heart not to defile yourself. Make the conscious and intentional choice to act in obedience to God and His Word, with a visible consistency between what you say you believe and how you act in any circumstance. Choose to live with integrity.

The bottom line is that your ability to refuse to compromise in the face of pressure is directly tied to your commitment to consistently match your behavior with your beliefs.  It doesn’t happen by accident

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