“Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks!”
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “The Most Important Thing.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:
Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the question we are going to talk about today. This discussion is going to be the first in a series, all based on a study of Daniel Chapter 1 and corresponding to articles posted on the website. The big idea we will be discussing is how you can navigate pressure – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way – without deviating from your values. It’s really going to be a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith. And today, that begins with an understanding of the most important lesson.
When I was a senior in high school, I had a job working in a local meat market and butcher shop. My job was to come after the shop was closed in the evening and clean everything up from the day. Keep in mind, this was a butcher shop so that included cleaning up after the slaughtering and process were done for the day! It was not only messy work, but it was also lonely work, because I was there by myself after everyone else had gone home.
One day, in the late spring, I was doing my job while listening to a Detroit Tigers baseball game on the radio (they won the World Series that year, with the dynamic team of Alan Trammel at Shortstop and Lou Whitaker at 2nd Base, and the outstanding pitching of Jack Morris). My boss was a heavy smoker, and on this evening, he had left a pack of cigarettes behind, which had never happened before. As I was cleaning the front, I came across the cigarettes and was faced with an ethically dilemma. I had never smoked before and had been vocal about my faith with classmates and adamant that smoking, and the use of substances, didn’t mesh with my faith. But now they were right in front of me, and no one was around to see it. I had the chance to pick up a cigarette and smoke it just to see what it would be like, and no one would know. I picked one up and held it in my fingers, looked at it, wondering what it would taste and feel like, then put it away and never lit it up.
Why did I make that decision? In retrospect, that’s a simple answer: I had already established my internal framework to guide my decision-making process, driven by my worldview that was based on my commitment to Jesus Christ and to the Bible. So, when the situation presented itself in front of me, I had actually made the decision ahead of time by doing that. As tempting as it might have been as a teenager to try a cigarette, my beliefs and resulting personal principles directly corresponded to my behavior. Therefore, I didn’t smoke because I couldn’t smoke and still be true to myself. My behavior reflected my pre-established beliefs.
One of the most important – if not the most important – things you need to do to prepare yourself to stand against compromising your faith is to understand that your beliefs and your behavior are inseparable. I’ve quoted my dad on this before, but as he used to say, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your walk talks.” Your beliefs will result in your behavior, and your behavior will be a reflection of your beliefs. Because this is so, two things will inevitably happen:
1) when you are confronted with a circumstance that challenges your faith and your values, how you respond will be a direct result of the worldview belief system that you have intentionally developed, and
2) Everyone around you will make judgments about who you are based on how they see you act in these circumstances.
Here’s what you need to take away: What you believe and how you live go together. Know what you believe and why it matters; just as importantly, your actions must match your beliefs.
The bottom line is that your walk needs to be consistent with your talk, and that happens when your talk is consistent with your worldview, with what you hold to be true as your foundational belief system. Therefore, if you want to be able to navigate circumstances that challenge your faith and your integrity and come away without having compromised, then you must be purposeful about solidifying your worldview. You won’t have one without the other.
When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon). When that was done, I started a study of Daniel and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students. As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).
The story’s underlying basis is this: In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured. In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3). Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20). But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.
How did they do it?
The answers are revealed in the first chapter of the book, but the first (and most important) is reflected in what can be inferred from verse 8, which says, “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.” You see, in this newly placed environment, Daniel (and his three friends) were given the best food on the menu. It was not for the purpose of ‘seducing” them to the side of evil, or for perverting who they were. However, they knew what they believed (based on Jewish Law and the Scriptures), so they knew that eating that food wouldn’t be consistent with what they believed. But they also knew they were far away from home under a lot of pressure. So, Daniel had to make a decision based on his personal worldview and principles, and his resulting response was to stand firm.
His response in verse 8 reveals three things:
- He knew what he believed. He had a standard of morality, a set of values that was the basis of his belief, and he owned that standard as his own.
- He knew why it mattered. Therefore, he had turned that set of values into guiding principles reflected with integrity in his character and identity.
- He knew how he should respond. His standard of morality was translated into his decisions and his actions.
The takeaway for us is this: It begins with your worldview, your core beliefs. That’s your foundation. Then, your beliefs are translated into principles, the guidelines you establish for yourself that show what matters to you. That’s your framework. Finally, your principles dictate the decisions you make and the actions you take (That’s your finish). Ultimately, what you believe and how you behave are tied to each other. Therefore, you need to know what you believe and why it matters so that it forms the framework of how you will live; just as importantly, your actions and decisions must match your beliefs. When you have done that, you are prepared to face any pressures to conform . . . without compromise.
“Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Proverbs 16:3
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “It’s Time for a Self-Assessment.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:
Have you done a self-assessment lately? That’s the question we are going to talk about today, because it’s a perfect time to do it. Self-assessment and self-reflection are important to your growth – both personal and professional. The beginning of the calendar year is viewed as a time to reset and to make resolutions or set goals for the year. Put both of these things together – the importance of self-assessment and the start of the new year – and it becomes the perfect time to do a self-evaluation to prepare your personal improvement plan for the coming year.
Years ago, my siblings and I, with our families, were all visiting at my parents’ house. My dad was talking about wanting to build a deck on the back of the house outside of the back door, and in the course of the conversation we decided that the best time to do it was while we were there, so that we could all help. So, my dad grabbed some paper and drew a sketch of what the deck would look like, made a list of materials and supplies he would need, and order them from the local lumberyard to be delivered the next day. When the materials came the next morning, the four of us – my dad, me, and my two brothers – went to work, following my dad’s plans and instructions, and built a beautiful deck before the end of the day. It’s a wonderful memory for me, but the point of the story for today’s question is that before we built the deck, dad did an assessment to determine what we had, what we needed, and how we needed to do it.
That’s the purpose of a self-assessment. It’s to reflect on where you are, where you want to be, and what it’s going to take to get from where you are right now to where you want to be in the next year (and beyond). This process for me evolved over time. It started rather simply. When I first became a teacher, I took time in the summer to determine where I wanted to go in each of my classes and laid out a plan of what I would need to do to get there. Then when I moved into administrative roles, that became my annual practice in preparation for the next school year. I would reflect on the previous year, and determine what changes and growth needed to take place in the next year and prepare a plan of implementation. I didn’t turn this process into a truly personal growth plan until I started my doctoral program, and a process of self-reflection and assessment was built into the early stages of the program. It was then that I started taking time every December and January to reflect on my previous year and set some personal growth goals. Over time, as I grew in my leadership, this process grew into a more formalized process with categories and a template that I use every year to determine my 1- and 5-year goals. A few years ago, I added in the stop of determining my personal “word for the year,” a word that became my focus for that year. (A personal note here – for quite a few years before I did this, my wife would give me word or phrase to hold on to each year that she felt would be great help to me. My wife is amazing).
I believe you need to have a similar process. You need to have an annual process of self-reflection, self-assessment, and self-direction. That means that every year, you should be taking some time to reflect on the previous year, assess where you are in your life (personally, professionally, physically, spiritually, in your relationships, and wherever else you think appropriate), and then you need to determine the progress, goals, and steps you want to put in place for yourself. It doesn’t have to look exactly like mine. In fact, there are lots of different templates and formats that you could follow, but regardless of how you do it, you should have one.
Here’s what you need to take away: It’s the beginning of the calendar year and a time of transition from one year to the next. That makes it a natural time to review and reflect on the past year, evaluate the present, and determine the direction for the coming year. Write it down in whatever format works best for you and refer to it throughout the year. That will be your own personal improvement plan.
The bottom line is that self-assessment is important to your growth, both personally and professionally. Author Laurence J. Peter is said to have said, “If you do not know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else,” and you’ve probably also heard the adage, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” If you want to grow in the direction in which you intend, then you need to build this regular or annual discipline into your life. Take time to self-reflect, self-assess, and prepare your plan for the next year. And right now, at the beginning of a calendar year, it’s the perfect time to do it.
When I started my doctoral program, I first had to attend an orientation program with the other students who had been accepted as part of that year’s cohort. During those two weeks, we read books, listened to lectures, interacted in discussions and activities, and wrote. And wrote. And wrote.
Several of the writing assignments were specifically aimed at helping us to formulate our own personal IDP (Individual Development Plan) for the program, or, what we intended to accomplish and get out of our graduate school experience. One assignment in particular required us to take a variety of personality and ability inventories, outline our life experiences, and think through the things that most drew our interest and brought joy and fulfillment in order to identify our passion and calling.
It was this exercise that really helped me to clarify what it was that my experiences, abilities, and passions had prepared me to do, and why those things were driving me. Through this process of reflection and writing, I realized what I loved doing, why I loved doing it, and how I was making a difference, and it confirmed and affirmed in me what I was doing with my life. (For me personally, it was also an affirmation of how God had gifted and prepared me, and what He had called me to do for His Kingdom.) It was a very valuable thought process, one that became a touch point in later years for keeping myself in the place where I best fit.
In the years since, I have incorporated a variety of other tools and activities to help me refine my own skill set and passions, and to help me continually improve at what I do. One of those activities is a yearly practice in December of listing my major goals for the coming year and maintaining a list of 5-year goals. The categories that work for me include personal/family goals, spiritual goals, financial goals, intellectual goals, and physical goals. This annual practice is one of the things that helps me regularly self-assess, thinking about what I’m doing, how I’m doing, and what I need to do in the near future in order to grow.
It’s that time of the year when many of us have done or are doing some kind of self-assessment. We remember what we did (and didn’t) accomplish in the last year. We determine what we might want to accomplish in this next year. We try to make a fresh start. We make New Year’s resolutions.
So, as you make your resolutions this year, I would encourage you to be very intentional about this process. Identify your own specific interests, abilities, and opportunities. List your own one-year and five-year goals (and put them in a place where you can refer to them regularly). Take advantage of self-assessment tools, such as the (free) Myers-Briggs Personality Test; the One Page Personal Plan (OPPP) from Verne Harnish’s book Scaling Up; the Rockefeller Habits, which incorporates the 5F’s (Family, Faith, Friends, Fitness, Finance); or use any other tool that works for you. Regardless of what you use, be purposeful about assessing yourself – reflect on your past experience, identify your current abilities and passions, and decide on your direction for the next year.
It’s a new year, a natural time for this kind of review. Do it, do it purposefully, and do it to grow. Happy New Year!