“Either it’s true or it’s not.” Jack McMaster
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part one in the series titled “Complementary Contradictions.” Here is the transcript of the podcast.
There are times when you get conflicting words of advice, one which is good and the other which is not, and it requires discernment to determine which is the right advice to follow. But often, you may hear conflicting counsel that seems to be contradictory to each other, but which is actually complementary and, when used appropriately and in the right way, can work together to help you make better decisions. It may be because they are two sides of the same coin, both of which are true depending on where or how you approach the situation. It may be because they are opposite but equally valid ideas that are intended to be applied in different circumstances. Or it may even be because they are parallel ideas that are intended to be used in unison. Regardless, they can be paired together, and both can be used in different ways, at different times, or side by side.
That’s what we are talking about in this series, in both the website articles and on the weekly podcast. We are looking at different leadership ideas or principles that seem to contradict, or at least differ from each other, and we are pairing them up to see how they actually complement each other, using them both to make you a better leader.
Today, in part 1, we are starting by introducing the overarching concept for the series.
Early in my leadership experience, it was emphasized to me that I needed to know my weaknesses so that I could work on them and develop them into strengths in order to become an effective leader. I wanted to lead well, so I set about trying to do just that. However, I did not consider my personal nature and how that affected my leadership style. You see, I am a very analytical introvert. That means that I take time to think about things first. In fact, my first response is not going to be as good as my later response, so I would keep my first response to myself until after I had taken time to process my thoughts. I did not want to assert myself aggressively into settings or conversations. I did not enjoy conflict. I liked to ensure an orderly process and procedure that made sense, and could be more focused on the procedure than on the people involved in the process. The challenge this created for me was that I began trying to be someone I was not, rather than trying to learn to lead well according to my giftedness. And therefore, I was becoming miserable. Then I read a book that seemed to give the opposite advice. The premise was that I needed to know my strengths and weaknesses so that I could focus on working within my strengths while letting other people whose strengths offset my weaknesses work within their strengths. The end result would be that all the gaps would be filled, and I would be doing only what I did well. I dove into this, in part because it let off the hook of improving things that I struggled with. The challenge that this new – and opposite – perspective created for me was that there were things I needed to take the lead on and address, even though they were hard for me, but I was leaving them for someone else which then was calling my leadership effectiveness into question.
So, after first trying to focus only on my weaknesses, which made me miserable, and then trying to focus only on my strengths, which made me ignore things I needed to address, I finally figured out that there was truth in both approaches and that they actually needed to be used together. I figured out that they were complementary contradictions. Yes, I need to emphasize my strengths to my advantage while also using the strengths of the team around me to offset my weaknesses, but I also need to grow as a leader by learning how to strengthen the areas in which I struggled, and still be myself. For example, when I started as the head of school at a new school, I knew that my introversion made it hard for me to be gregarious at public events, like concerts and football games, and that I am not someone who can “work the crowd.” But at the same time, I knew that it was important to connect with people and that I am good at engaging with people one-on-one. So, I would go to events and stand where people would pass by me and let opportunities for face-to-face conversations happen organically. In doing that, I connected on a personal level with a lot of people, without having to do so in an extroverted manner that didn’t match my strengths.
The truth is, those two different approaches to leadership both had elements of truth. On the one hand, when working with a team, it is important to have a variety of strengths within the team that work together well while filling in gaps. But on the other hand, sometimes the team is not there (or the work you are doing is by yourself), and you don’t have that luxury, so you have to become competent at the things that are more difficult for you to do. Or, on the one hand, It is important for you to focus on strengths so that they become even better, because a lack of exercise in those areas will lead to diminished strength. But on the other hand, at the same time, you still need to identify the things that are challenging for you just because they are not in your wheelhouse or not things you enjoy, and work to strengthen those to a greater level of ability so that you can do them when necessary. Failing to do that will likely cause important things to be neglected, which will have consequences.
This all serves as an example of the point we are making in this series that there are leadership principles and practices that may seem to be contradictory to each other, but which are actually both true, depending on the need or the circumstance. Before you choose one or the other, perhaps you should first think about the valuable lessons found in both and figure out how to apply them cooperatively.
Coming back full circle, that’s what we will be doing in the next few weeks. One week, we’ll talk about “When a plan comes together,” and the next week, we’ll talk about “When a plan falls apart.” Or, one week, we’ll talk about “Do what works,” and the next week, we’ll talk about “If it doesn’t work, do something different.” You get the picture. We will be identifying and discussing complementary contradictions as pairs of principles that play well together so that you can become a better leader by incorporating both pieces of advice, not just one or the other.
Have you ever received conflicting words of advice? You know, two different people or two different sources telling you to do opposite things. Or even two different clichés that could apply, but they seem to contradict each other? For example, “Many hands make light work,” and “Too many cooks spoil the pot.” Do you need a lot of people to help, or do you need people to get out of the way? Even the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament seems to do this, when it says in Proverbs 26:4, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him,” but then the very next verse says, “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” These conflicting or contradictory pieces of advice seem to leave you in a pickle. You don’t know whose advice to follow or what you are supposed to do.
Sometimes, it’s true that you get conflicting words of advice, one which is good and the other which is not, and it requires discernment to determine which is the right advice to follow. But often, these seeming contradictions are actually complementary and, when used appropriately and in the right way, can work together to help you make better decisions. It may be because they are two sides of the same coin, both of which are true depending on where or how you approach the situation. It may be because they are opposite but equally valid ideas that are intended to be applied in different circumstances. Or it may even be because they are parallel ideas that are intended to be used in unison. Regardless, they can be paired together, and both can be used in different ways, at different times, or side by side.
That’s what we are going to be talking about in the next weeks, in the website articles and on the weekly podcast. We will be looking at different leadership ideas or principles that seem to contradict, or at least differ from each other, and we are going to pair them up to see how they actually complement each other to make you a better leader. For example, one week, we’ll talk about “When a plan comes together,” and the next week, we’ll talk about “When a plan falls apart.” Or, one week, we’ll talk about “Do what works,” and the next week, we’ll talk about “If it doesn’t work, do something different.” You get the picture. We’ll be looking at 5 or 6 of these pairs and learn some things that help you become a better decision-maker in your leadership.
The goal in front of us is to see how these seeming contradictions are, in reality, complementary and can play well together so that you can use them to become a better leader. There are many situations you will face, many dilemmas to resolve, many choices to make, and many circumstances to address. Let’s learn how we can handle these things even better by putting these complementary contradictions together.
“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part ten in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:
Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series. Today’s discussion is the ninth in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website. The big idea we are discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way. It’s really a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith. And today, it’s time for you to decide what your commitment will be.
Years ago, early in my teaching experience, I heard my principal, Brooks Everett, give a chapel message to students based on Joshua 24. It stuck with me, and over the years I have used the ideas he shared in conversations with others, and so I am doing the same here. Here’s the basic story:
Joshua and the people had finished all their battles in conquering the land of Canaan, which was followed by dividing it up among the tribes. Joshua had lived through the escape from slavery in Egypt, the establishment of the nation at Mt. Sinai, the 40 years of wandering in the desert, and then finally the conquest of Canaan. At the end of all that, he gathered everyone together and very carefully reviewed the lessons that had been learned from their experiences. After reviewing their experiences, he issued them a challenge in verses 14 and 15 and said, “Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! 15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell.” (And here’s the part that everyone knows and quotes.) “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” His assumption was that the people – collectively and individually – would serve someone (or something), but it would be up to them to decide who or what it would be. Joshua planted his flag in the ground on serving God and threw down the gauntlet.
When they responded by saying, “We’re with you, Joshua! We will also serve the Lord!”, that’s where the story gets a little interesting. Joshua looked around at the crowd, considered what they said, and replied by stating, “No, you won’t.” He tells them that they are going to end up quickly turning away from God, who will then have to chastise them and administer consequences for their unfaithfulness and broken promises. Once again, the people say to him, “No, really and truly we will serve the Lord!” That’s when Joshua challenges them to look around, to notice who is making this commitment, and to hold each other accountable.
Joshua and the Israelites were at a crossroads, and they needed to make a decision. The decision they would make was future-focused – they were deciding their behavior and their response to what they would face in their foreseeable future. That serves as an example for you and me. We will be facing pressure to compromise at different times and in different ways, and it would be wise for us to determine ahead of time what actions we will take when it happens. This seems like a simple truth, but it’s one that I had to repeat and emphasize over the years to teenagers that I interacted with; otherwise, when they would not take the time to do this, they would wilt under pressure because the prior commitment wasn’t there. In the middle of a crisis, it’s much harder to make that commitment at the moment and in the moment, so it behooves you to be proactive and decide ahead of time. And as we learned from Daniel early in this podcast and website series, that process begins by first establishing and committing to your beliefs.
What does that mean for you? It means this: first, be clear and confident of what you believe, of your worldview. My worldview is based on the truth of Scripture and the confidence that God is the Creator of the Universe and the source of wisdom and truth. You have to decide what yours is. Then, consistently make your decisions and take your actions today that reflect your worldview. Finally, commit to holding true to that worldview in your decisions and actions tomorrow when you face the pressure to compromise.
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The bottom line is that your ability to resist the pressure to compromise tomorrow is directly tied to your commitment to hold to your worldview today. If you are not prepared before it happens, you will find it very difficult to resist, and are much more likely to give in and compromise your faith.
When we circle back to Daniel as our model of this, I end up in Daniel 1:8, which tells us that “Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself.” He decided ahead of time that he was going to hold strong to his belief in God and to the resulting implications and principles that aligned with that belief. When the pressure came, he was able to resist. Now, it’s your turn to make that commitment. Will you commit to holding fast to your faith in face of pressure? You get to decide.
When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon). When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students. As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).
The underlying basis of the story is this: In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured. In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3). Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20). But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.
Now, it’s time for you to decide if you will make the same commitment!
The Bible provides us with a great example of this in the book of Joshua, in chapter 24, when Joshua and the people had finished all their battles in conquering the land of Canaan, which was followed by dividing it up among the tribes. Joshua had lived through the escape from slavery in Egypt, the establishment of the nation at Mt. Sinai, the 40 years of wandering in the desert, and then finally the conquest of Canaan. At the end of all that, he gathered everyone together and very carefully reviewed the lessons that had been learned from their experiences. After reviewing their experiences, he issued them a challenge in verses 14 and 15 and said, “Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! 15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” His assumption was that they would serve someone (or something), but they would get to decide who or what it would be. He planted his flag in the ground on serving God and threw down the gauntlet.
Whether you have realized it yet or not, you will believe and follow something. We have learned from Daniel’s experience in Daniel 1 that your beliefs and your actions go together. Ultimately, your beliefs will determine what you value (or what you will serve), which will then determine your behavior. Therefore, the reverse is also true: your behavior reveals what you value, which in turn reveals what you believe. You now get to decide your starting point: What do you believe, and therefore, who or what will you follow? Will you choose God, like Joshua, and will you do it without compromise, like Daniel? You are the one who chooses for yourself what your story will be.
We have walked through several principles that you can apply to avoid compromise while maintaining excellence, but you must understand that it doesn’t happen by accident. Daniel modeled for us what we are striving for, which is the commitment to integrity in our character and faith, and excellence in our work, both at the same time. The world would have you think that you must leave your faith at the door when you go out into the real world, but I would contend wholeheartedly that you can be both Christian and excellent without compromising either. But to do so, you must intentionally and consciously commit to a belief in the God of the Bible and the accompanying principles by which you set your values and make your decisions, and you must consistently live those out in daily life. Leading with excellence while living without compromise is up to you. You decide.
“But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself . . .” Daniel 1:8
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:
Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series. Today’s discussion is the ninth in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website. The big idea we are discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way. It’s really a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith. And today, that begins with a review of the lessons we have learned from Daniel’s experience.
We started this series with the purpose of digging into the story of Daniel, and specifically the story of how he navigated his first years in captivity. Daniel was a young man when his story began, most likely a teenager. Nebuchadnezzar was on the rise as the ruler of the Babylonian Empire at the same time that the Jews had demonstrated unfaithfulness to God and had turned to false gods. In other words, they were confronted with pressure to compromise their faith, and . . . they compromised. As a result, Nebuchadnezzar and his army conquered Judah and carried the people away in captivity. In the process, a select group, which included Daniel and his three friends, was taken to the capital city and enrolled in a special program of study in preparation for serving in the kingdom. Daniel 1 then walks us through Daniel’s experience, where we learn that in spite of the fact that his home country as a whole had compromised their faithfulness to God, he chose a different path and refused to compromise. I love how verse 8 states his commitment when it says that Daniel ‘purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself.” And that’s exactly what happened. Daniel refused to compromise, and demonstrated excellence at the same time, so much so that he “graduated” at the top of his class into an executive leadership position.
Daniel’s experience laid the foundation for our series, a study on how to live without compromise in a world that pressures us to conform to worldliness and turn from godliness. Throughout his years in his university training, he maintained his commitment to God, did not hide his faith, faced conflict and pressure, and was able to stay strong. There were certain and specific things that he did, and characteristics he exhibited, that form the basis of the lessons we can take away and apply to our own journeys as leaders. You might find more, but in our study of the last few weeks, we focused on these 8 lessons:
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- The Foundational Lesson: What you believe and how you live go together. Know what you believe and why it matters; just as importantly, your actions must match your beliefs.
- The Lesson of Circumstances: In all circumstances, God has an intentional purpose for your life; you often have no choice over the circumstances, but you do get to choose your response, your trust, and your obedience.
- The Lesson of Ability: God has gifted you with talents and abilities that are unique to you, and He wants to (and can) use them for His purpose.
- The Lesson of Wisdom: The importance of intentionally pursuing knowledge (grasp of accurate information), understanding (knowing why it matters), and wisdom (knowing how to apply it godliness and life-decisions).
- The Lesson of Integrity: The importance of consistently matching your behavior (conduct) with your beliefs (convictions), with the refusal to compromise regardless of the pressure (while balancing truth with love).
- The Lesson of Relationship: Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact. Seek and build positive relationships among believers, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.
- The Lesson of Outcomes: God is involved and active in your life, even in the midst of trials and challenges. Learn to see and trust His hand in the process and in the outcome. Be intentional about maintaining a community of believers to walk through life with you.
- The Lesson of Purpose: You have a part and a purpose in God’s story. See your life experiences through that lens, and find where your identity and abilities align with the opportunities God places in front of you.
We spent a week, one brief website article and one short podcast episode, on each of these lessons. The intent was to identify things we could learn from Daniel and apply them to our own lives and experiences. Therefore, each of these was described and applied in a way that is useable for you and me but can be connected back to specific behaviors, decisions, and attributes that Daniel showed us.
I would challenge and encourage you to review these eight lessons and look for your own specific examples that you can use to help you see how these need to be applied in your own life. The bottom line, though, is that there are biblically based and clear steps we can each take to help us follow Daniel’s example. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s easy, but it is achievable. We, too, can live and lead without compromise.
When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon). When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students. As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).
The underlying basis of the story is this: In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured. In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3). Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20). But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.
How did they do it? We have talked about a number of lessons in the last couple of months. You may find different lessons that are valuable for your own leadership, but I see at least these:
- The Foundational Lesson: What you believe and how you live go together. Know what you believe and why it matters; just as importantly, your actions must match your beliefs.
- The Lesson of Circumstances: In all circumstances, God has an intentional purpose for your life; you often have no choice over the circumstances, but you do get to choose your response, your trust, and your obedience.
- The Lesson of Ability: God has gifted you with talents and abilities that are unique to you, and He wants to (and can) use them for His purpose.
- The Lesson of Wisdom: The importance of intentionally pursuing knowledge (grasp of accurate information), understanding (knowing why it matters), and wisdom (knowing how to apply it godliness and life-decisions).
- The Lesson of Integrity: The importance of consistently matching your behavior (conduct) with your beliefs (convictions), with the refusal to compromise regardless of the pressure (while balancing truth with love).
- The Lesson of Relationship: Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact. Seek and build positive relationships among believers, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.
- The Lesson of Outcomes: God is involved and active in your life, even in the midst of trials and challenges. Learn to see and trust His hand in the process and in the outcome. Be intentional about maintaining a community of believers to walk through life with you.
- The Lesson of Purpose: You have a part and a purpose in God’s story. See your life experiences through that lens, and find where your identity and abilities align with the opportunities God places in front of you.
Remember that the intent of this was to learn from Daniel how to keep ourselves from compromising our faith when we face the pressure to do so. The starting point of the eight lessons is recognizing the importance of aligning beliefs and behavior, or convictions and conduct. The basis of all the other elements is knowing what you believe and ensuring that your words and your actions reflect it. If these things don’t match: 1) you will be labeled as a hypocrite; 2) people won’t believe you and therefore won’t follow you; and 3) you won’t have the internal strength to keep from compromising. My challenge and encouragement to you is to resolve this first, then review the other principles and lessons to apply them in your own life.