Without Compromise, pt. 6: It’s About Who You Know
When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon). When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students. As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).
The underlying basis of the story is this: In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured. In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3). Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20). But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.
How did they do it? One way was by cultivating healthy relationships.
We see this in Daniel 1, verses 8-14 which describe the circles of relationship that Daniel had formed, when it says, “. . . therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. 9 Now God had brought Daniel into the favor and goodwill of the chief of the eunuchs. 10 And the chief of the eunuchs said to Daniel, “I fear my lord the king, who has appointed your food and drink. For why should he see your faces looking worse than the young men who are your age? Then you would endanger my head before the king.”11 So Daniel said to the steward whom the chief of the eunuchs had set over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, 12 “Please test your servants for ten days, and let them give us vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then let our appearance be examined before you, and the appearance of the young men who eat the portion of the king’s delicacies; and as you see fit, so deal with your servants.” 14 So he consented with them in this matter . . .”
The reason why I talk about his circles of relationships as plural (“circles”, not “circle”) is that I think Daniel shows us two circles: the inner circle, or those with whom he has a shared faith, which the New Testament would call our brothers and sisters in Christ; then there is the outer circle, or those who do not share his faith. Daniel’s inner circle was made up of his three Jewish friends who were also captured with him and in the same program. We see them referenced together in a couple of different places in this chapter. His outer circle involved his work relationships, specifically the one he established with his “boss.”
What we learn about his circle of friends is that he had a personal “small group,” and therefore was not navigating his life challenges on his own. What we learn about his outer circle is that Daniel built a good relationship with his boss even though his boss wasn’t a “Christian.” He knew that he (Daniel) represented God, and so he reflected that truth in the way he acted toward his boss. Therefore, in this circumstance (asking for a different menu plan), he approached his boss with kindness, not contention. When his boss denied the request (after all, the boss was protecting his own job), Daniel responded in a way that pushed back while still preserving the relationship and respecting his boss’s authority. Going about it this way allowed him to model his faith and “prove” God. What was also important in this was the fact that he had his inner circle of relationships, a community of believers around him in the process.
We need to understand that relationships matter (because people matter to God, as I heard my Pastor say in a sermon message repeatedly many years ago). If you are going to be a reflection of Jesus to the world, then it is important that you build relationships with the people around you and that, at the same time, you carry your faith in a gentle and loving way, with compassion and consideration toward others. Be intentional about seeking and building positive relationships. And you need to do that within both of your circles:
- Your inner circle: the people you would call brothers and sisters in Christ, who you need for support, accountability, encouragement, and spiritual unity. This is so important, in fact, that Scripture tells us in 1 John 4 that you can’t say you love God if you don’t love your brother.
- Your outer circle: the people that you come in contact with who are not followers of Jesus but who are probably paying attention to your faith and can be impacted by it. It is vital to remember that these people will most likely judge your faith by how you treat them.
So, then, are you building the right kind of relationships with other Christians? Are you being relational with people who don’t know Jesus? Like many of the characteristics of faith, those two things don’t happen by accident! They happen by making sure that you always have a community of believers who make you better, and that you are consistently engaging with unbelievers, always in a loving way. The lesson for you is this: Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact. Therefore, seek and build positive relationships among believers, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.
