Podcast Episode 23 – Without Compromise (part 6)
This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part five in the series titled “Without Compromise.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:
Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the ongoing question we are talking about in this series. Today’s discussion is the fifth in the series, and all of them are based on a study of Daniel chapter 1 and correspond to the articles posted each week on the Leadership Ezra website. The big idea we will be discussing is how you can navigate pressure without deviating from your values – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way. It’s really going to be a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith. And today, that begins by cultivating healthy relationships.
I want to share two different stories today because they help paint a picture of the two kinds of relationships we’re talking about. The first story happened during and after high school. I had a classmate that I was friends with by virtue of the fact that we were on the same team, Track & Field, and competed together in the same event. He was not a follower of Jesus, and I was, and some of his behavior choices were very different than mine. I tried to be intentionally public about my faith and my choices, but I also tried to maintain a positive relationship with him. That meant that I didn’t act the same way he did, but I also wasn’t harshly critical or condemning. Instead, I treated him with love and grace. A couple of years later, I made a trip home from college to visit my family, and he called me. He had recently learned that his mom had cancer, and that had shaken him. He remembered the demonstration of my faith and reached out to me to talk about what was happening. I don’t believe that would have happened if I hadn’t established the kind of relationship in the first place that made him want to do that.
The second story happened when we were still fairly young, with infant and toddler-aged children. My wife had a health crisis that resulted in several hospitalizations, lots of testing, deteriorating health, and no answers (it would be another 15 years before a doctor discovered a slow-growing uncommon cancer in her endocrine system that was likely the cause of all that had been happening). In that season, there was a group of friends who were part of our church and who worked with us together at the Christian school where we were employed, who stepped into our lives to help us get through. They helped with childcare, meals, doctor visits, and spiritual and emotional support. The circle of relationships we had established helped carry us through a very difficult time. There is a verse in Proverbs that says, “A neighbor nearby is better than a brother far away,” and this was a demonstration of that verse in our lives.
Broadly speaking, I believe there are two circles of relationships in our lives that are important. One is what I would call our inner circle. Those are the people who share our faith and values, which the New Testament calls our brothers and sisters in Christ. They are the ones who can walk alongside us in our faith journey, providing encouragement, support, and accountability (just as we do for them). The other is what I would call our outer circle. Those are the people who intersect with our lives, but who do not share our faith. They may be co-workers, neighbors, classmates, or anyone else we interact with regularly and on whom we can have some impact. They are the ones who give us the opportunity to be a testimony of Jesus to open the door for sharing the Gospel with what we say and with how we live. With these people, we win the right to share Jesus with what we say when we have modeled Jesus to them with how we live.
In both cases, the support and the impact happen because there is relationship that has been established first. Daniel showed us both of these in Daniel 1. He had 3 friends – Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego – who were with him in his journey. Their support and accountability of each other helped them to stay strong in the midst of the pressure they were facing. He also built a positive relationship with his boss, who was not a follower of Daniel’s God and interacted in a way that maintained that relationship even when there was tension and conflict. That relationship ended up allowing him the freedom and flexibility to protect his convictions. I want to make sure I point out here that Daniel was never condescending or antagonistic in this relationship, much like what I see in the communication on social media today that comes out of the mouths of people who say they are believers, which I believe damages the opportunity for the impact of the Gospel.
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Here’s what you need to take away: It is important that you intentionally build and maintain relationships with like-minded followers of Jesus, so that you have support and accountability as you navigate the pressures of life. It is also important that you intentionally cultivate healthy relationships with people around you who are not followers of Jesus. This does two things. It gives you the opportunity to impact them toward Jesus, and it gives you the support to stick to your values even if they may not hold those same values. Both of these groups of relationships are important for us, and for the message of Jesus.
The bottom line, therefore, is that you need to build and maintain healthy relationships in both circles. Years ago, I had a pastor preach a message in which the core idea, one that was frequently repeated throughout the message, was that “People matter to God.” All people matter to God. So the lesson for you is this: Relationships matter, and they open the door to impact. Therefore, seek and build positive relationships among those who follow Jesus and those who don’t, and be gentle, loving, compassionate, and considerate to all.
