Archive for category: Faith

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you need to be able to laugh at yourself.

I feel like this month has been all about laughter and joy. A couple of episodes ago, the focus was about laughing in the circumstances, then there was a reminder of the importance of celebrating milestones on a journey, and now this illustration is in the same vein of joy. It happened when my older brother and his wife came to visit. They had been missionaries in Brazil for about 30 years, and recently had moved back to the United States to work as representatives of their mission agency. Because they had been living in another country, my grandchildren had never met them in person.

They were excited when the day came for their arrival. When the knock on the door came, I opened it, and they stepped inside. My granddaughter was there, waiting to meet them. When she saw my brother, she put her hands on her cheeks, and started jumping up and down and laughing and exclaimed, “Where is your hair?!” She knew he was my brother, and she expected him to look like me, so it completely surprised her when a bald man came in the door.

What I appreciated was that he laughed along with her, and then bent over so that she could touch the top of his head. She did, and she laughed some more, and even after they left, when she saw his picture, she would say that he forgot his hair, laugh, and call him the funny man. It was important that my brother was able to laugh at himself in this situation, and show that to my grandchildren. He modeled for them what it means to not take yourself too seriously, to not take offense too easily, and to laugh at yourself, even at your own expense. Those were important lessons for my grandchildren to learn.

And those are important lessons for you in your leadership. If you take yourself too seriously, other people will not. If you take offense too easily, you will get easily offended frequently. If you cannot choose to laugh at yourself, you will instead become bitter and angry. It is better for our emotional, mental, and social health to be able to laugh at ourselves, and in the laughter, bring joy to others. This truth is emphasized in Proverbs 17:22, which tells us, “A merry heart does good, like medicine.”

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter laughing at the bald head of my brother. You are different than others and you will make mistakes, and people will sometimes laugh at you because of those things. My dad was a pastor, and I can remember as child after the sermon laughing at mistakes he made while speaking when he would mix up words, and hearing him join in the laughter. It is important that you are able to laugh at yourself in those moments as well. Don’t take yourself too seriously, don’t get offended too easily, and choose to express joy.

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you need to be prepared for the moments when you need to take charge.

On a beautiful Sunday morning, we were walking into church. As we were making our way down the sidewalk and approaching the stairs to the entrance, my 3-year-old granddaughter suddenly and forcefully told my grandson where he needed to step, took my daughter’s Bible and told me to carry it, took my daughter’s hand, and said, “Now we’re ready, let’s go!” I watched this happen and jokingly commented, “Well, somebody has to take charge!”

This reminded me of an experience I had when I was in high school. It was between my junior and senior year, and I was attending a week at a summer camp in a different state and didn’t know a single other person there. I am by nature an introvert, and I struggled with confidence at that time in my life, so I was doing my best to stay in the background. As the week began, the campers were divided into two teams for a week of activities and competitions. My team gathered to prepare for the first activity, and there seemed to be only confusion. Did I mention that I was also very competitive? I wanted to win, but all I could see was disorder, so finally, I stood up, got everybody’s attention, and started directing a plan. At the end of the week, my team had won, and the staff selected me as the camper of the week. If they only knew how much of a reluctant leader I was! But when the need was pressing and no one was leading, I took charge.

Often it seems like leaders are dominant personalities, who naturally seem to take charge. Those dominant leaders need to be sure to consider and involve others when they take charge. Less frequently, there are leaders who seem to be more reserved and introverted, which is my tendency, but that doesn’t negate or remove the necessity of taking charge when it is needed. Regardless of the type of leader you are, there is a Bible verse that has been significant in my life that underscores the prerequisite to taking charge. Ezra 7:10 says, “For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the Lord, and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel.” Before you can be ready to take charge, you first have to prepare your heart, which involves two things:

1. Cultivate the right person inside, by developing your character and integrity. Even more importantly, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, learn to know God personally and intimately and align your inner person to Him.
2. Exhibit the right person outside, by conducting yourself with external behavior that reflects the internal character you have been developing. Live outwardly in a way that matches who you are internally.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from watching my granddaughter take charge of the situation as we were walking into church. No matter what kind of leader you are, you need to be prepared and ready to take charge when it is needed. That begins by developing your character on the inside, and then by living and acting with integrity on the outside. Without ignoring other leadership and organizational skills that are required to lead well in a circumstance that requires it, if you have done those things, you will be ready. It may be easy for you or it may be hard for you, but either way, you have been personally prepared and you are ready to take charge.

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you don’t see everything.

I thought about this when I was reflecting on my past experience as an educator. I recall one particular experience in my first year as a teacher when I was standing in the hallway having a face-to-face conversation with a student. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I do remember the satisfaction of feeling like I was connecting with students. Then, a principal walked past us, stopped, looked at the student, and kindly told him to spit out his gum. The school had “no-gum” policy (because who wants to put their hand under a desk and stick their fingers unto someone else’s used gum), and yet I was looking directly into the face of student and I hadn’t even noticed that he had gum in his mouth.

Although the principal was gracious about it, as a new teacher I was mortified. Something that I was supposed to handle was happening right in front of me, and I didn’t even see it. I know that this was likely not the first time it was true in my job (or in my life in general), but I think it was the first time I realized that I could miss things, sometime obvious things and sometimes important things, and not even know it. Now, it would be fair to say that with experience I got better at seeing things I needed to see as a teacher, but in part that was because I did a better job of focusing on those things . . . and in the process would miss other things that were not part of my focus. No matter how much I improved at seeing some things, I still didn’t see everything.

This is also going to be true for you. I don’t know if you are humble enough to accept it, but regardless, it is still the case, because your brain has certain tendencies. Simon and Chabris demonstrated this in a research experiment involving a basketball, a focused task, and a man in a gorilla suit (if you’re interested, search for Simon and Chabris’s 1999 study, “Gorillas in Our Midst”). The study showed that conscious perception requires our intentional attention because we tend to see what we are looking for, but often see only what we are looking for, and we tend to not see what we are not looking for. Think about the last time you looked everywhere for something you had misplaced, only to find it right in front of you. In your mind, you remembered it looking a little different, or in a specific place, so unconsciously that’s what you were looking for, and therefore didn’t notice when it was in an obvious place where you had already looked.

Because that is the tendency of your brain, it is important that you not be too quick to assume that you have seen everything and then to jump to conclusions. Proverbs 18:13 tells us, “He answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” One of my counseling professors shared that verse with my class and encouraged us to keep it in front of us when we were listening to patients. And for years as an educator, I kept it on my desk as a reminder when I was listening to discipline situations involving students. It’s because you don’t see everything that you need to make sure you are gathering all the information before you respond.

And that’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from a recollection of not seeing that a student was chewing gum right in front of my face. You don’t see everything. Partly that is because you can’t focus on everything at once, so you tend to pay attention to what you want to see, and to not see what you are not looking for. For that reason, you need to be careful to hear and receive the observations and information of others, and to not jump to conclusions before you get it. Don’t make decisions or react with your response before you have all the information, because remember, you don’t see everything.