Archive for category: Leadership

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that the people around us are watching and they will learn from and imitate what they see us do.

This story involves our dog, a black lab and chow mix that we got from an animal adoption center whose name is Jett, and I love that there are lessons that we can learn from our dogs. In this instance, our dog was trying to get into something that she was not supposed to, so I looked at her, pointed my finger, and said firmly, “Jett, no!“ Well, sometime later, my then-one-year-old granddaughter was eating goldfish crackers out of her little snack cup, and she dropped one. The dog started to come over to try to eat it off the floor, and my granddaughter looked at her, pointed her finger, and said firmly, “Jett, no!“ (and the dog obeyed!). I had not even realized that my granddaughter had been watching me when I rebuked the dog earlier, but it seems that she was. She had watched, learned from my example, and imitated me.

When this happened, it made me think of a time when my own kids were in middle and high school, and my dad came to visit us. I was working as a secondary principal in a school, and my dad had never visited this school before, so he did not know anyone, nor did anyone know him. He came to visit me in my office (it was the summertime, so no students were there), and being the social extrovert that he was, it didn’t take long before he decided to wander around the campus to meet people. A short time later, a teacher who had no idea who my dad would be walked into my office and asked me if my dad was visiting. I said, “Yes, how did you know?” He said, “I saw a man walking around who walks exactly like you, and like your son.” I was struck by the power of that imagery. Without any conscious awareness, I walk just like my dad, and my son walks just like me. Like the story of my granddaughter with our dog, it showed me that we watch, learn from, and imitate the people around us.

This is an incredible truth for you and your leadership. Whether you realize it or not, and even if you don’t know that they are watching, the people around you are watching you, learning from your example, and imitating you. They see how you handle circumstances, they observe how you interact with people, and they begin to pattern themselves after you, often subconsciously even. And if they admire you and value your leadership, it is that much more likely to happen. Therefore, your actions and your character will have an impact on others, even if you do not intend it to happen.

The lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from this interaction between my granddaughter and our dog, is simply that you influence others by your example. It’s a progression of deepening impact. They watch you, then they learn from you, and finally, they imitate you. You may say, “Do as I say, not as I do,“ but that is not what is going to happen. They are going to do as you do. So, you must be intentional about everything you do, even if you think no one sees, because people are watching and will copy your example.

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about the good that is in the struggle.

I saw this in action with one of my grandchildren recently. At 2 years old, my granddaughter is already a highly active outdoor person who loves to climb things and kick a ball around the yard. She had decided it was time to go outside, so she went to the closet, pulled out a pair of shoes, and started trying to put them on. As an independent little girl, she didn’t ask if she could go outside and didn’t ask for help with her shoes. She just pulled them out and tried to put them on. I watched her as she made repeated unsuccessful attempts and struggled patiently until she finally got a foot into a shoe. At that point, I rewarded her effort, patience, and tenacity by helping her finish and taking her outside to play.

I loved watching her do this, and intentionally chose not to intervene when she started trying to put her shoes on by herself. I could have immediately jumped to her aid and put her shoes on for her. But when I saw her struggling, I stayed back and let her work at it. She was motivated by the goal of going outside, and was willing to try. It was a skill that she will eventually need to learn anyway. So the best thing I could do in the moment was to hold back, watch, and encourage.

I’m sure you are already making these connections, but there are some great lessons in this experience that portray the good that comes from struggle. You might see more, but I see these as a minimum:

1. Struggle leads to growth. It grows your patience and tenacity. It develops your skills and abilities. It helps you grow when you have to try to figure out and do things you previously were unable to do.
2. Struggle makes you stronger. What drives your growth is the increased strength that comes from having to push hard. Just as the wings of a butterfly get the strength for flying by struggling to escape from a cocoon, your physical and figurative muscles are strengthened when they have to work at something that is not easy.
3. Struggle helps you learn. Sometimes you observe others doing it, then you try, and struggle as you try, to learn how to do what you have seen. Sometimes you are analyzing and processing and trying to figure it out, and you learn from trial and error. Either way, as you struggle, you learn and get better.
4. Struggle builds your confidence. When you struggle and overcome, it boosts your belief in what you can do. It shows you that you can do hard things. If everything is easy, people tend to quit when it gets hard because they don’t think they can do it. But having to work for things helps you to know that if you work at it, you may very well be able to do it.

These are great lessons on leadership from this little thing in life, from this experience of watching my granddaughter struggle to put on her shoes. Struggle is good for the development of the people you lead. It leads to growth, it builds their strength, it helps them learn, and it increases their confidence. What that means for you is that you ought to give them opportunities to struggle (but then make it safe for them to fail so that they will continue to try!), and only intervene when they have put in effort and shown progress. See the big-picture benefit for them that will come from allowing some struggle, and use that opportunity to help them get better. There is good in their struggle, help them to find it!

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about being prepared for a crisis when it comes.

We live in the south, so it’s a warm climate, and we don’t have to deal with freezing temperatures very often. Because of that, when it does happen (depending on how cold and how long the freeze is), it can be considered a crisis to some degree (pun intended). And also because of that, we have to be more conscious and intentional about doing things to prepare for the freeze, which those who live in cold climates probably don’t have to think about as much. Therefore, in a recent winter when we were expecting several days of freezing temperatures, there were some things that I needed to prepare for, but I also needed guidance.

You see, our home and our yard were made with our warmer climate in mind, which means that freezing temperatures can have a damaging effect if I don’t prepare. The water in our sprinkler system could freeze and burst the pipes, and the plumbing in our exterior walls is more susceptible to freezing. There were some simple things that I needed to do, like opening up the cabinet doors under bathroom sinks, so that the space in the cabinets would receive heat from the house. But there were also some things that were a little more complicated, like draining the sprinkler system. So, I had to do a little research and talk to someone who knew how to do that to make sure that I knew the right steps. With the right guidance, I was able to be prepared to weather the crisis (again, pun intended).

There are lots of lessons for life and for leadership that you could pull out of this experience, but there are three that jump out to me:

1. Be prepared. There will be crises and unexpected things that happen, but you usually have some indication that trouble is coming. So be intentional about knowing what you need to do ahead of time to be as prepared as possible. Beyond that, have a preparation plan so that when you are surprised by a crisis, you can respond quickly.
2. Do the simple things. There are often simple things that you can do that will mitigate the effects of the crisis. Those are the things that tend to be common knowledge or common sense, but they help to minimize the impact, with relatively minor effort.
3. Get help. Talk to experts or to others who have navigated a similar circumstance, and seek resources and sources of information that will help you know what to do next. You don’t know everything, so it is far wiser to get help than to make foolish and unnecessary mistakes.

These were lessons on leadership (and on life) that came from this little thing in life, a cold weather freeze that lasted a few days. There were things that I could do to prepare for what was coming, there were simple things that I did as it was happening that helped me get through it well, and I sought guidance and wisdom to help me manage the things about which I knew little. You will not be able to avoid crises and unexpected obstacles, but you can apply these same principles to your leadership when the time comes. Be prepared. Do the simple things. Get help. If you can learn these leadership lessons from this little thing in life, you will be much more ready to navigate a crisis when it comes.

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about helping people have the right frame of mind.

My grandson seemed to not be in a good mood, and was not being very cooperative or kind. At the time that he was struggling with his attitude, he decided that he wanted something and demanded it. His mom, my daughter, told him he needed to ask nicely and say please, to which he informed her (in all seriousness) that he had used up all of his pleases, so he couldn’t do that.

What I watched my daughter do next was brilliant. Without reacting to him, she asked him a completely different question. She asked him if he wanted to help her make some coffee. He loves to help do things – in fact, recently he told me that his favorite thing to do was to be my helper – so he immediately jumped up and said that he wanted to help. He then helped to make coffee for everyone, and his attitude completely turned around. He became joyful and kind, asked nicely for things, and “found his pleases.”

For whatever reason, he had been in the wrong frame of mind. It could’ve been because he was bored, hungry, upset about something else, or a number of other reasons. But, regardless, his attitude was out of sorts, and it was affecting his perspective on everything. The response that my daughter took did two things: it redirected his focus to something positive that was meaningful to him, and it gave him something to do that affirmed his value.

That’s a tremendous lesson that we can apply to our leadership activities and relationships. Sometimes people are not in the right frame of mind, and it affects their emotions, their behavior, and their performance. We may or may not know what those reasons are, but there is still something that we can do. We can redirect their focus and their responsibilities so that they can do something that is meaningful to them and affirms their value. When that happens, it gets them out of the cycle or pattern that is keeping them in a negative frame of mind, and lets them redirect or refocus themselves. What you have really done is given them purpose and value, which will likely, in turn, affect how they feel and behave.

So the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, this story of my grandson running out of pleases, is that there may very well be something you can do to help change someone’s attitude and frame of mind. You won’t do it by reacting or belittling. But if you can refocus their attention and their efforts to an opportunity that provides meaning and value, you may just help someone completely change their day.