Leadership lessons, connected with faith and wisdom.

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 15: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life (Let Somebody Else Do It)

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that sometimes it costs less to let somebody else do it.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Let Somebody Else Do It

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that sometimes it costs less to let somebody else do it.

I tend to do the grocery shopping in my family. Typically, that involves a plan and a routine that I am comfortable with, and it results in visiting two or three stores every couple of weeks to get the different things that we need. I enjoy that time (I know, I’m a little weird) because I am an analytical introvert, so this process of being alone with my thoughts while selecting and organizing the things we need meets some of my personal recharging needs.

But recently, for the sake of time, I used the online ordering and scheduling that was available in the apps for the stores where I was doing my shopping to order what I needed online, so that I could drive to the stores to pick it up curbside. In this particular season, with other things that I needed to do, it was a much better use of my time. As I was waiting at the curbside pick up spot for the store employee to bring my order out to me, I was reminded of something my dad used to say. My dad was mechanically inclined, and both skilled and experienced in a lot of things, so he could manage almost anything that had to be taken care of around the home, and he usually did. But at times, he would pay somebody else to do something, and then would tell me that sometimes it would cost him less to have somebody else do it so that his time could be used in a more profitable way. My wife has often said a similar thing, reminding me of the value of delegating to other people the things that they can do that save me time, so that I can use my time for the things that I need to do to earn a living for my family. When I allow myself to do that, the result is that it’s often done better, uses my time better, and ironically saves us money in the long run.

This is a great lesson for your leadership. Just because you are responsible for everything doesn’t mean that you are responsible to do everything. As a matter, fact, you can’t do everything… at least, not well. Other people have skills that you don’t have, and the skills that you do have need to be what you invest in for your work and your people. By allowing other people to do what they do well, you get to use your strengths, they get to use theirs, and your time is much better spent, which is a benefit to you and your organization.

So the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my willingness to use an online ordering service rather than spending a lot more time in a store, is a valuable one. In Exodus 18, Moses’ father-in-law pointed out to him the problem of trying to do all the work himself when he could serve the people better and more efficiently by sharing the load and delegating responsibility. The point was that if he would do that, it would cost him less – less time, less inefficiency, less frustration, and less likelihood of burnout – which, in turn, would be much more profitable. Because sometimes, it costs less to let somebody else do it.

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 14: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life (You Need to Be Smarter than Your Kids)

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about the importance of trying to stay ahead of the issues.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Need to Be Smarter than Your Kids

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about the importance of trying to stay ahead of the issues.

My grandson was sitting on the couch watching an episode of paw patrol, and he was in the process of his potty training. It was time on the training schedule for him to go, so I said, “It’s time to go sit on the potty.“ He was very invested in the show he was watching, however, so he said, “I’m too tired to sit on the potty right now,” lay over on the couch, and started pretending to snore with his eyes open while he watched the show. I said, “If you’re that tired, I will turn off the TV so that you can sleep,” to which he replied (as I paused the show), “Now it’s too quiet for me to sleep, you have to press play so that I can hear some noise while I sleep.” I suppressed my laughter and told my wife that we are going to have to be two steps ahead of this boy, because if we are not, he will always be one step ahead of us!

Even though he was a toddler, he had his own interests in mind, and was trying to accomplish his own ends, so he was thinking ahead as I was thinking in the moment. That little experience with him made me think of some things that I’ve heard my dad and my wife say. Shortly after my wife and I had our first child, I was having a conversation with my dad about some of the things my little baby kept trying to do, and my dad said, “Jeff, I think one of the secrets to parenting is that you always have to be smarter than your kids.“ What he was really telling me was that you have to be able to discern the thought process and the motive in a child’s behavior, think about what that looks like in the future, and have the wisdom to respond appropriately. Years later, when I was navigating an issue in my first head-of-school role, and I was trying to communicate something to parents, my dad told me, “Jeff, it’s always good to try to answer questions before they asked.“ He was helping me to see that I needed to discern what people were really concerned about or what they really wanted to know, and give them the answers that they were seeking before it became a bigger issue by leaving those questions unanswered. That also reminded me of something my wife said in that same first head-of-school experience, when I was venting to her about an issue, but had not yet communicated anything to others who needed to know, and she said, “If you give people a blank page, they will write their own story.”

Those are three valuable principles for leadership that were brought to light by that simple interaction with my grandson. They are true and applicable to your own leadership, and not applying these will result in issues escalating rather than de-escalating. These are critical skills that will help you get ahead of an issue rather than having the issue get ahead of you and wreak havoc. Therefore, when you are facing an issue:

  1. You need to be smarter than the issue and the people involved. That doesn’t mean you have to have the highest IQ in the room. What it means is that you have to be able to discern what is behind the issue, understand the motives and concerns of the people affected by the issue, and be proactive in how you address those things.
  2. Answer questions before they are asked. When you are facing an issue, be intentional about thinking through the steps that need to take place, the things that will need to be resolved, and how the difficulties will be managed. Then communicate the information that will answer those questions. And that becomes important because of what’s next.
  3. If you give people a blank page, they will write their own story. If you don’t communicate the information that they need to hear, but leave them to make up their own ideas, they will likely decide their own reasons behind what is happening, and will talk or behave in ways that are counter to what you need to do, then you will find yourself having to do damage control.

So, the leadership lesson learned from this little experience in life, from a simple interaction with my grandson on the couch, reminds us of how important it is that we respond to issues intentionally. We need to stay ahead of the issues by thinking about the implications and how others are going to be affected, so that we can be proactive. We need to communicate the information that they need to hear, and we need to do it before they make up their own stories about what is happening. And the reason why this is so important is because if you don’t do these things, your mess is going to get messier.

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 13: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life (Sometimes You Don’t Speak the Same Language)

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about what to do when you don’t speak the same language.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Sometimes You Don’t Speak the Same Language

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about what to do when you don’t speak the same language.

This is another illustration that comes from an experience with my dog. I was sitting down working on my computer, and my dog came over to me and was clearly trying to get my attention. I scratched her on the head, but that didn’t seem to satisfy her. I went to the back door and opened it to let her out to do her business, and she looked at me, but did not go out. So then I went over to her food and water dish, and I could see that her water dish was empty, so I filled it with water, and she immediately started drinking. When she was done, she came back over near me and laid down with a look of contentment.

Clearly, she needed something, and I knew that she needed something, but we don’t speak the same language (and I am not Caesar Romero), so I had to be intentional about trying to understand her so that I could best meet her needs. Based on who she is, what I know about her as my dog, and what she typically needs, I was trying to discern why she was trying to get my attention, and it took effort on my part, but once I understood, she was able to be nurtured.

The same thing happens when we work with, for, and over people. That’s because we – and they – are people. We all have our own uniqueness, which comes from who we are and what we have experienced, and the result is that we tend to easily see, hear, think, talk, and perceive differently. For example, I once used the word “debrief” in a leadership team meeting at a place where I was new, and I received a visceral reaction from others in the room, which I later learned was because a previous leader had used that word in a destructive manner (as an excuse to rip apart other people on the team for their inadequacies). I had to be intentional about communicating the idea of debriefing, but with different words. So, because we think and talk differently, we sometimes misunderstand, misinterpret, or jump to conclusions about what somebody needs or what they are saying, and react based on our perception. In reality they are saying something else or need something else, and we simply need to be able to understand and interpret what they are saying so that we can respond appropriately.

So, the leadership lesson from this little thing in life, from the illustration of my dog, trying to get my attention, is that you have to be intentional about trying to understand the true intent and meaning in what others say. When I would meet with couples for marriage counseling and discuss communication, one of the things that I would talk about was all the places where misunderstanding could happen in the process, from the origination of the thought in one person‘s mind to the interpretation in the mind of the other person of what was heard. Because of our different ways of thinking and our different experiences, you could say that we are often speaking different languages when we communicate. What does that mean for your leadership? It means that you have to be intentional about seeking out and understanding what the other people around you are saying, in both their words and their actions, so that you can respond in a way that helps, heals, and moves people forward.

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 12: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life (Fool Me Once . . .)

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that we need to learn from our experiences.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Fool Me Once . . .

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that we need to learn from our experiences.

I live in a very small town, so it’s relatively quick and easy for me to get to places around town. So, in my mind, I’m always thinking that if I give myself a five-minute cushion, I’ll make it where I need to in plenty of time, and with time to spare. However, this town is also a train town, in that there are several train tracks crossing through town in different places. Because of this, I have been caught by trains on several occasions, which has caused me to be unexpectedly late. But now I know that there is always a possibility that this will happen, because of where I live, and so it is my responsibility to take that into account.

The first time it happened was the first night we were in our home. We had just moved in and were unpacking, and we didn’t have any groceries yet, so I ordered pizza for dinner. The app told me when the pizza would be ready, so I left with plenty of time to be there to pick it up. But, of course, I was interrupted by a train that was stopped on the tracks. Apparently, as a train town, it is also a place where trains add to their load, which means sometimes they stop for 5 to 10 minutes while you sit and wait. And that’s what happened to me.

I can remember my dad telling me, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” But I did not learn from that experience, and a few weeks later, a train was stopped on the tracks and made me late again. Believe it or not, it happened again a few weeks after that. At this point, I now know that it is always a possibility that I will be stopped by a train, so if I don’t take that into account, it’s my fault, and I have to accept and manage the consequences.

This is a great reminder for our practice of leadership. We cannot always anticipate the obstacles and issues coming down the road (who was rehearsing a pandemic response in their crisis management plan in 2019?), but we can learn from the experience when something happens. If it takes you by surprise, or it is not something that you have not had to navigate before, you need to pay attention, try to understand it, and learn from it so that you can get better. If you don’t learn from the experience, it becomes your own fault for being unprepared when something similar happens again. I have often told my own children, “You learn most things by experience, but it’s usually less painful if it’s someone else’s experience.” In cases like this, however, you are learning from your own experience, and it’s probably a little painful. But you still need to learn from it.

So, a leadership lesson from this little thing in life, from being stopped by a train, is a valuable one. Very simply, learn from your experiences. If something completely unexpected happens, over which you had no control (and even though it is your leadership responsibility to respond well), it is not your fault that it happened. The next time, however, if you are not prepared, then the consequences belong to you. Learn from your experiences and be prepared the next time.

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 11: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life (People Are Watching)

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that the people around us are watching and they will learn from and imitate what they see us do.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: People Are Watching

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us that the people around us are watching and they will learn from and imitate what they see us do.

This story involves our dog, a black lab and chow mix that we got from an animal adoption center whose name is Jett, and I love that there are lessons that we can learn from our dogs. In this instance, our dog was trying to get into something that she was not supposed to, so I looked at her, pointed my finger, and said firmly, “Jett, no!“ Well, sometime later, my then-one-year-old granddaughter was eating goldfish crackers out of her little snack cup, and she dropped one. The dog started to come over to try to eat it off the floor, and my granddaughter looked at her, pointed her finger, and said firmly, “Jett, no!“ (and the dog obeyed!). I had not even realized that my granddaughter had been watching me when I rebuked the dog earlier, but it seems that she was. She had watched, learned from my example, and imitated me.

When this happened, it made me think of a time when my own kids were in middle and high school, and my dad came to visit us. I was working as a secondary principal in a school, and my dad had never visited this school before, so he did not know anyone, nor did anyone know him. He came to visit me in my office (it was the summertime, so no students were there), and being the social extrovert that he was, it didn’t take long before he decided to wander around the campus to meet people. A short time later, a teacher who had no idea who my dad would be walked into my office and asked me if my dad was visiting. I said, “Yes, how did you know?” He said, “I saw a man walking around who walks exactly like you, and like your son.” I was struck by the power of that imagery. Without any conscious awareness, I walk just like my dad, and my son walks just like me. Like the story of my granddaughter with our dog, it showed me that we watch, learn from, and imitate the people around us.

This is an incredible truth for you and your leadership. Whether you realize it or not, and even if you don’t know that they are watching, the people around you are watching you, learning from your example, and imitating you. They see how you handle circumstances, they observe how you interact with people, and they begin to pattern themselves after you, often subconsciously even. And if they admire you and value your leadership, it is that much more likely to happen. Therefore, your actions and your character will have an impact on others, even if you do not intend it to happen.

The lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from this interaction between my granddaughter and our dog, is simply that you influence others by your example. It’s a progression of deepening impact. They watch you, then they learn from you, and finally, they imitate you. You may say, “Do as I say, not as I do,“ but that is not what is going to happen. They are going to do as you do. So, you must be intentional about everything you do, even if you think no one sees, because people are watching and will copy your example.

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