Leadership lessons, connected with faith and wisdom.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Your Mistakes Don’t Need to Define You

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s a reminder that your mistakes don’t need to define you.

I have shared before how my granddaughter loves to help. Sometimes, though, in her enthusiasm to help, it doesn’t go so well. On one particular day, I told my grandson that it was time for us to get out his Chromebook so we could do some of his learning activities on it. My granddaughter jumped up in a flash to grab the computer case, which was unzipped, and the computer fell out of the case and landed on the floor with a sound that was not very promising. I opened up the computer, and, sure enough, the screen was broken. I could see the look of panic on her face, because she knew she had done something that was not good.

There was a lot going on in that moment. She was clearly upset that she had broken something. My grandson was upset because he couldn’t do the activities on the computer. And I was thinking about what I needed to do next, what I was going to do about the computer, and how I was going to respond to the grandchildren. She had made a mistake, and it was kind of a big one! I couldn’t just excuse it, because she had caused damage. But this mistake did not need to define who she was. So, I determined appropriate consequences, set appropriate boundaries, and then demonstrated love. I let it be something that had happened but wasn’t continuing to happen, something that caused an important lesson to be learned, and then gave her room to show that she had learned from the experience. Responding in that way cost what it took to repair the computer. But reacting in a way that communicated that she was defined as a careless person who broke things would have cost a lot more, with the damage it would have done to who she is.

You will have people around you make mistakes. But you will also make mistakes. You don’t want people to define you in the present by your mistakes that you have made in the past. Likewise, you don’t want to do that to others. I am sure that you know someone who made a mistake sometime in the past, and now everyone identifies that person by that mistake. When my wife was a little girl, her mom thought that she had lost a ring. For the next 20 years, her mom would joke about not being able to give her expensive jewelry, because she would lose it. Only it turns out that her mom had misplaced it, not my wife. Yet for 20 years she was defined by a mistake that she had not even made.

People may want to put you in a box or a category based on what you have done in the past, even if it’s something that you may have only done one time. However, they don’t get to define you. So don’t let them determine who you are. If you made a mistake, accept the consequences, make restoration, set the right boundaries, learn from your mistake, and grow.

That is the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from not letting my granddaughter be defined by a mistake that she made when she dropped and broke a Chromebook. You will make mistakes, but you can learn and grow from them rather than letting them define who you are. You can also do the same with the people around you. When they make mistakes, help them to learn and grow from those mistakes, and don’t let that define them either. Yes, there may need to be appropriate consequences and restoration and boundaries. But your mistakes don’t need to determine who you are as you move forward. Because your mistakes don’t need to define you.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 17: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – People Need to Be Valued

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’a a reminder that people have value.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: People Need to Be Valued

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’a a reminder that people have value.

My granddaughter loves to help. She wants to help me with the chores, she wants to help me with work around the house, she wants to help her mom with her activities, she wants to help make sure her older brother is taken care of. She may not feel the same way when she gets older, but right now she loves to help. So when I came home with a load of groceries, she wanted to help me carry everything in. She ran to put her shoes on and joined me at the truck so she could carry things into the house. After several trips, I only had a few heavy things left to carry in, so I started to walk out the door without her to get those things, but she stopped me at the door with a sad look on her face and said, “But you’ll be lost without me!“

Now, clearly I was not going to get lost walking from the house to the truck to get these last few things and carrying them back in. Nor did I need her help to do it. But I don’t think that’s what she was really saying. Whether she realized it or not, what she really wanted to know was whether or not her help mattered to me. She wanted to know that I believed in the importance of what she was doing as my helper. She wanted to know that she mattered to me. I could’ve just dismissed what she was saying, ignored her, and finished it myself, but that would have hurt and devalued her. I could’ve done it myself, but she needed to know that she was needed, and that she had value. There may come a day when she has to carry the groceries in for me, but she will be much less likely to want to do that if I don’t acknowledge her value now.

Similarly, when you work with people, they need to know that they have value. If they are early in their growth and experience, they may not do things as well as you, and it’s possible that you could do it without them. But if you want them to grow into the people who can do it well without you, they need to see their value now. More importantly than that, you need to know that their value is not in their level of accomplishment. Their value is in who they are as a person, and in their potential to grow. That’s what you are affirming when you acknowledge their value now.

What does that mean for you and your leadership role? It means that you need to recognize the worth of people because of who they are, not because of what they do. They want to know that they matter, and that they can bring meaning. If you devalue them, you can crush that spirit. You need, instead, to value who they are, even when there is a lot that they need to learn and a lot of ways in which they need to grow.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in my life, from my granddaughter exclaiming that I would be lost without her. The value of people is not in what they do, but in who they are. Therefore, even in their growth process and with their mistakes, recognize their value (and make sure they know you see it). People need to be valued.

I need to add one more crucial thought to this topic of discussion, and it’s this: we (including you and me) are all broken, imperfect people who have been marred by sin. That brokenness and sin makes us unworthy before God. But people matter to God. God values you and me so much that, in spite of our brokenness and sin, He gave His only perfect Son to be our Savior through His death, burial, and resurrection. It is only through that sacrifice that we can be saved, and, therefore, our true value is ultimately found in who we are in Jesus. If you have never placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, I want to urge you to do so today. 

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 16: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You Have More to Learn

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it points out the reminder that you always have more to learn.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Have More to Learn

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it points out the reminder that you always have more to learn.

I was blessed to have my children attend the same school at which I worked. From the time that I first began teaching, through my experience as an administrator, principal, and superintendent, I was always able to take my children to school with me. Early in that experience, my daughter, who was our oldest child, was finishing first grade. She enjoyed school, and loved learning, but I remember something interesting she said on the last day of school of her first grade year as I was walking her out to the car at the end of that day. This was a K-12 school, so as we were leaving, she was noticing all the other older children who were leaving as well, including the high school students. As we walked past them, she looked up at me and with great enthusiasm said, “I’m so glad that I’ve learned everything that I’m supposed to learn, so that I don’t have to keep coming back to school like they do!”

Obviously, she had not learned everything that she was going to learn, but at that age, she did not realize what she did not know. And that makes me think of something that my dad would say: “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” He would say that to me to help keep me humble and teachable when I was pursuing a degree in higher education. He wanted to make sure I understood that I didn’t know everything, and that there was always more that I could learn. I have since learned that those two attributes – humility and teachability – are absolutely necessary to personal growth.

That’s true for you as well. You must be humble enough to admit that you don’t know everything, and teachable enough to see that there is more to learn (and then to pursue it). Those two things apply to your particular area of expertise or skill, but they also apply to your broader role of leadership, and to the way that you navigate your life. So, commit to being humble. Recognize that there is more to know than what you know, and that often there are others who know more than you from whom you can learn. Then, commit to being teachable. Knowing that there is more to learn, be willing to pursue it.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my daughter, at the end of first grade, believing that she had learned everything there was to know. The reality is that you don’t know everything. You often don’t even fully understand how much it is that you don’t know. However, humility and teachability will enable you to recognize this, and to pursue learning more of what you need to know. Because, the more you know, the more you know you don’t know. You always have more to learn.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 15: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You Have a Frame of Reference

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it helps to illustrate that we all have a frame of reference.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Have a Frame of Reference

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it helps to illustrate that we all have a frame of reference.

We were blessed recently to travel in our little camper to an RV campground on the Gulf Coast. We were in a spot right on the shore, with a fire pit and a view that looked out over the water. It was a beautiful place to be, and a wonderful time of relaxation and refreshment. Our grandkids were there with us, and the second night that we were there, as we were sitting in chairs around the fire pit, my three-year-old granddaughter suddenly exclaimed, with great enthusiasm, “I’m living my best life!” Of course we laughed, but also loved the joy she was experiencing. In that particular moment of time, she truly believed that life couldn’t get any better than what she was experiencing.

However, as adults, we knew that her perspective was only relative to her 3 short years of life and to her specific experiences. In her mind, three years had been her whole life, so relative to that frame of reference, she really was experiencing her best life. From our frame of reference, though, we knew that she is expected to have many more years of life, with many more joyful experiences. But in that moment, and in relation to her frame of reference, she had a particular perspective on the world that shaped how she was viewing her circumstances.

That’s a great illustration for us, because we each have been and continue to be shaped by our own past experiences and current context, which then becomes our frame of reference through which we perceive and respond to the world around us. For example, if you have been greatly wounded by others in the past, that will affect how you view your interactions with others in the present. From your frame of reference, people can be hurtful, and so you need to guard yourself. But if you have experienced trusting relationships, then from that frame of reference, you want to believe that you can trust people. So no matter what your experiences have been, in the range from terrible to great, you tend to view life, and life circumstances, through your own frame of reference.

What does that mean for your leadership? While am sure that there are other significant lessons that you can draw from this, the two that jump out to me immediately are these:

  1. You need to recognize that you have a frame of reference. Your experiences and context will shape your perspective, which will lead to your perspective being just that – a perspective. From that perspective, or frame of reference, you will interpret the world around you as it happens.
  2. You also need to recognize that everyone else has a frame of reference. They have been shaped by their own experiences and context, which may lead to giving them a different perspective than the one you have. You may both see the same thing, but see it differently, as a byproduct of having a different frame of reference.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my 3-year-old granddaughter‘s announcement that she was living her best life. We all have a frame of reference that has been shaped by our experiences, through which we view our circumstances and our lives. We need to know that we do, and we need to know what it is, so that we can be self-aware that we have the perspective that we do. Yours may be different than mine, so you and I might see the same thing differently, but knowing that will help us to understand each other better. Because we all have a frame of reference.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 14: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Know Your Culture and Your Context

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it reminds us that we need to understand our culture and our context.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Know Your Culture and Your Context

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it reminds us that we need to understand our culture and our context.

My granddaughter was sitting next to my wife while they were having a snack and playing with some toys together. As they were playing, my granddaughter became quiet and still, and seemed to be phased out for a moment, lost somewhere in her own mind. After a few minutes of sitting there, unblinking and unmoving, she suddenly turned to my wife, smiled, and said, “I was loading!”

To someone in another generation and time, that might not make any sense. But to a generation that has lived and grown up in a digital age, it’s obvious that this refers to what happens when a computer is loading a program, document, or website, and the cursor on the screen is spinning around and around while you wait. It’s terminology that is familiar to someone who has always known modern technology, and it has become a commonly understood idea. So when she said, “I was loading,” she understood what she was saying and it made sense to her. It also made sense to us. For just a few minutes, she was lost in her own thoughts while she refreshed her mind and her energy.

The reason why this made sense to her (and to us) is because it’s a normal part of her (and our) culture and context. It is a normal part of the broader digital culture in which we all live, and it is a normal part of the specific context of her own life, where she uses devices and computers as part of her daily activity. Therefore, because it is a normal part of her culture and her context, it is an idea that she understood and could apply to her own activity. And because I also understand her culture and context, I knew what she meant when she made that statement.

That’s a great reminder for your leadership as well. You need to understand the culture and context in which you live. You need to know the greater cultural time period and environment that helps to define and shape where and when you live. You also need to know the specific local culture and context in which you are operating. Both of these things have an impact on the kind of decisions you make. For example, in one place I worked, the word “debrief” was a trauma-connected word and, therefore, not a word I could use in a meeting. In another place, a program that I had successfully implemented elsewhere did not work in this new place because the local culture and context was different.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter’s comment that she was “loading” when she had phased out for a few minutes. You need to understand the culture and context in which you live and work, both globally and locally. Know what the shaping factors are that are within your region and field of expertise, as well as what they are in the specific place in which you live and work and lead. If you want to lead well and make wise decisions, one thing you must do is to know your culture and your context.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 13: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Your Walk Talks Louder Than Your Talk Talks

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it shows us that your walk talks louder than your talk talks.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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