Leadership lessons, connected with faith and wisdom.

Podcast Episode 15 – Fill In the Gaps

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “Fill In the Gaps.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever felt like you had to know how to do everything, and do it well, in order to be a good leader? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  Whether it’s because of pride, perfectionism, fear of rejection or failure, or being a people pleaser, it’s the tendency to think that we must be the expert in every facet of leadership and organizational needs. This false ideal is what is called the “myth of the complete leader,” according to an article I read in Harvard Business Review’s “10 Must Reads on Leadership.” 

In my first role as the head of school in a small midwestern Christian school, the administration consisted of me, the receptionist who was also my administrative assistant, and the athletic director who was also a teacher.  So in reality, most of the time, when my administrative assistant was serving as the receptionist and the athletic director was in class teaching, I was on my own.  Often I would joke (and usually out loud) as I was walking to my office that I was headed to an administrative meeting with myself.  The small size of the school necessitated that I wore many administrative hats (and one year also taught a class), but that also made it easier for me to think that I had to be do everything, and do it well.  “Surprisingly” that turned out to not be good leadership. I had to learn over time to identify other people who could do things better than me and tap into those resources (like getting the church’s volunteer accountant to help me learn to build and maintain the budget).

The truth is, you can’t do everything well. My dad (his name was Jack) was good at a lot of things, but whenever someone tried to portray him as good at everything, he would say, “I’m a Jack of all trades but a master of none.”  God has gifted us all in different ways, but no one person has all gifts, so no one person can do all things exceptionally well. The challenge for leaders has been the pressure to appear knowledgeable and excellent on everything related to their organization or job.  Whether that pressure is self-imposed or others-imposed, it’s not realistic and can result in poor leadership over time.

What that means for you is that you need to take off the mask of perfection and completeness and learn to fill in your gaps with others who are more gifted in some ways than you.  I have been married to my wife for almost 36 years, and throughout my whole marriage I have told people that because of her, I am a much better person than I would have been without her.  She has filled in my gaps and strengthened my leadership in the process.  I am convinced that most of the Jobs I have had have come after my prospective employer met Nora, because she made me look better.  Similarly, having people around you who fill in your gaps will make you look better and help you lead better.

Here’s what you need to take away:  Stop trying to do everything.  There are people around you with gifts and abilities who can do things that will complement your leadership if you will humble yourself, accept that you can’t do it all (and realize that most people aren’t expecting you to), and let other people help fill in those gaps. 

The bottom line is that none of us is a complete leader.  We will be stronger in some areas than others, and so our leadership will be better if we let others do things that they do well, that we don’t.  That’s how our gaps get filled in, we become much better leaders who are operating in reality, and the organization as a whole improves.  Think about it – if doing this makes the organization better, doesn’t that, in turn, reflect on your leadership? So, find the right people to fill in the gaps.

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Podcast Episode 14 – The Theory Behind the Theory

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “The Theory Behind the Theory.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever struggled with trying to figure out whether or not a leadership principle was good? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  In fact, early in my leadership experience, I noticed that some leadership principles and practices seemed to ring true to me, or seemed to particularly resonate with me, but at that time, I wasn’t thinking about why that was so.  That eventually led to my own wrestling with how to know what principles and practices were good ones, which in turn led me to the idea of the theory behind the theory.

I shared the story in the article that I posted earlier this week about the experience that led me to the realization that there is “biblical theory” behind any good theory proven to be true. It started when I read a book by Margaret Wheatley called “Leadership and the New Science.” (if you want to hear the story, you’ll have to listen to the podcast!). 

When you start from the presupposition that the Bible is true, that God is real, and that He is the Creator of the universe, it shapes your foundational beliefs.  One of those beliefs is the understanding that, as the Creator of the universe, of the world we live in, and of you and me, it makes sense that He knows best how everything should work, and how everything should work best.  He created with intentional design, and there is order that governs the internal operations of all things (these become the laws of science).  Therefore, when something works well, it is because of the God-created design behind it.

What that means for me is that I now understand that when there is a leadership principle that is effective, that means that behind it is a truth based on God’s intentional design.  It works because it stems from how God created things to work.  So if something works well, I can learn and see God’s design behind it – this is the theory behind the theory.

Here’s what you need to take away:  as a leader, understanding leadership theory is important.  When I was researching for my dissertation, my advisor kept stressing that I needed to identify and communicate the theory behind what I was saying.  Understanding the theory – or, the why – is important to becoming effective and growing, because theory translates into practice.  However – and this is what I kept saying to my advisor – I can see deeper theory – God’s truth and design – behind any effective theory.  As a Christian leader, you will be better if you study God and His Word to such an extent that you recognize biblical truth behind any good leadership theory and practice.

The bottom line is that good leadership has biblical truth behind it, even if that is not recognized by the leader.  My challenge to you is to become so knowledgeable of and intimate with God that you recognize it; that you see the theory behind the theory.

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The Theory Behind the Theory

It was when I was in graduate school doing research that I think I finally fully realized what it means to say, “All truth is God’s truth.” It clicked when I was reading a particular book that was drawing lessons on leadership from the principles of Chaos Theory. As I worked through the book, I began to see – underlying its principles – a clear representation of God’s sovereignty. Then I began to recognize, in many of the books I was reading, that the truths that most resonated with me were truths that I could see were expressions of biblical truths.  Aas my advisor and my instructors kept pushing me to identify “the theory behind the practice” for much of my research, I realized that the reason why there was truth in these theories, evident in how they worked in practice, was because of what I would call the “theory behind the theory”: original truth, found in God’s Word.

As an example, this became apparent to me again when I was reading a book called The Happiness Advantage, by #ShawnAchor.   This particular book is in the realm of positive psychology, and is based on research; in it, Achor describes seven principles related to the way that your attitude, choices, and behavior can benefit your personal growth.   More pointedly, the first principle in the book (‘the happiness advantage’ principle), discusses how a positive outlook improves fulfillment and success. Within this principle, he explains:

  • How happiness gives your brain – and your organization – the competitive edge
  • That when we are happy, we are smarter, more motivated, and thus more successful; happiness precedes success, not vice versa
  • That happiness (a positive mood in the present and a positive outlook for the future):
    • Primes and enhances creativity and innovation
    • Is an antidote to physical stress and anxiety
    • With intentional effort, can raise your daily baseline level of happiness
  • That our brains are hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.
  • That happiness and optimism fuel performance and achievement

The reality is . . . this is true. A positive attitude helps you do better, an optimistic outlook helps you respond to defeat and difficulty better, and a joyful approach helps to prevent discouragement. You probably don’t need to see research to believe that this is true, because you’ve seen it lived out in practice in your life and experience.  And that’s what takes me back to my point. You believe that this is true because you have seen it in practice, but a book like The Happiness Advantage provides “the theory behind the practice,” the research that explains why it is true in practice. But there is theory behind that theory, found in the Bible long before any studies in positive psychology were ever conducted.

Specifically, Proverbs 15:13-15 says this:

13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. 14 The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness. 15 All the days of the afflicted are evil, but he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast. Proverbs 15:13-15

In particular, verses 13 and 15 in this passage point out two very important truths. Verse 13 points out that your internal emotions and attitude directly impact your external response and reaction: positive on the inside leads to positive expression on the outside, and negative on the inside leads to brokenness on the outside. Then verse 15 points out that your outlook on and experience of life are a direct reflection of how you perceive your life circumstances: a “woe is me” or “I am a victim” mindset sees every day as bad, but a positive outlook finds value in all circumstances.   So it is true that choosing to have a positive mood has great benefit for your life, but the reason why it is true is because it is God’s truth, found in the very design of human nature in how God created us to be.

Now, the practical application is that you can improve your performance (and as a byproduct, your results) by intentionally cultivating a positive outlook and response to life and its circumstances. But I also want you to understand that the real theory behind it, the theory that backs it up, is truth that originates from God’s Word – a merry heart (positive attitude) makes a cheerful countenance (external expressions of happiness) and has a continual feast (positive view of and response to life).

Then, I would encourage you to take two more steps in this line of thought. First, begin to look for other places where you can see that there is biblical truth behind other leadership principles that also appear to be true when put into practice. Second, reverse the process by looking for biblical principles that can be translated into leadership principles, with the confidence that if it is a biblical principle, it will be true, and, therefore, will have legitimate and credible application to leadership. My hope is that, at the bottom of your own study and research, you too will see that all truth is God’s truth, and will learn to identify principles that work, because they are principles that reflect His truth.

This thought process is the foundation of my book, Leadership Ezra; the idea that there is biblical theory on leadership that can be found behind effective theories of leadership.   Leadership Ezra is a book that draws out specific leadership principles that are reflected in the Old Testament book of Ezra in order to apply them to effective leadership practice today.  It connects illustrations and principles from the Bible to the practical application of leadership from the experience of one specific time period of activity in the Old Testament.  In this book, I seek to find the “theory behind the theory,” and then to connect truth from the story of a set of events in Scripture to the practice of good leadership; specifically, to the leadership principles and practices that are often considered as “best practice,” that are seen in the story of Ezra, reflecting a biblical basis that underpins good leadership.   My goal was to start with an understanding of Ezra, the leader, then explore what we need to do to prepare for leadership and explore practical leadership principles and ideas.  At the core of it all, I hope to be able to communicate what it looks like to lead well from a foundation of biblical truth.  To see for yourself, order your copy on Amazon.

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Podcast Episode 13 – Your Family Is More Important Than Your Job

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “Your Family Is More Important Than Your Job.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever struggled with balancing your work aspirations and family obligations? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  I think most of us want to grow and excel in our work, which requires a level of commitment.  At the same time, we want to invest in our families. It’s been said that no one says on their deathbed, “I wish I would have spent more time at work,” but the struggle is often in figuring out how to find the balance between investing in your career and investing in the people who matter to you.

I told part of this story in the article that I posted earlier this week, but it was really the beginning of when I came to terms with this, early in my experience as a head of school. (if you want to hear the story, you’ll have to listen to the podcast!). 

First of all, work is necessary and can have great value. One of the things God created us to do was work, which was evident in the Garden of Eden when God told Adam and Eve that one of the three things He wanted them to do was to take care of His creation.  At the same time, one of the other of the three things God wanted them to do was to build a family.  (The third was to fill the earth.) The problem comes when we pit those two things against each other, or sacrifice one for the sake of the other.  The other problem comes when we confuse a job with our calling to work.  The end result tends to be that we seek to find greater value in our work than in our family, and our family pays the price. 

If you have a family, part of your calling is that family.  Yes, God has called you to Kingdom work in your career, but He would not sacrifice your family on that altar, no more than He would let Abraham sacrifice Isaac.  In that circumstance, God was asking Abraham for willing obedience to serve Him and did not intend for Abraham’s family to be sacrificed in the process.  He wanted to show Abraham -and, by extension, us – that God is more important than your family.  But your family is also very important to God and functions as a picture of God’s character and nature to the world (again, at Creation, Scripture tells us that man and woman together reflect God’s full image). And so God wants you to protect and care for your family. 

God ordained that we should work at the beginning of creation, but He wants your work to be a calling, not a job, and therefore the content and context of what you do can change to fit the time and circumstances for which He wants to use you.  However, He also established the importance of family from the beginning. He is not a “lesser of two evils” divine being who gives these two things and then forces us to choose which is less damaging; rather, He always has a right and good way of doing all that He has established.  He therefore will not call you to do something that costs your family.  If that is happening, it’s because of expectations that you are placing on yourself, not that God is placing on you. When that happens, it’s time to recalibrate your expectations to align with God’s and to commit your work to His purpose, not your own.

Here’s what you need to take away:  if your job is costing you your family, you have a problem.  I would also say that if your job is a ministry, and it’s costing your family, you are out of alignment with the work God has called you to do.  Yes, God should be the most important thing in your life, but second to that is the ministry that He has called you to carry out through your family.

When I came to this realization in my own path in that first head-of-school role, I made some changes so that my work was not superseding my family.  I started leaving to come home no later than 5:00.  I set limits on what I would say yes to.  And I intentionally protected my family time.  Sure, there were emergencies and exceptions, but that’s what they were – emergencies and exceptions.  During the next 25 years, God moved me to three more schools, and now to a new phase of ministry. By God’s grace, I have preserved and protected my family, and I believe my ministry to my family has had more of an impact on the lives of others than anything else I have done.  So I still say to people: your family is more important than your job.

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Podcast Episode 12 – Regretfulness or Thankfulness?

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article on a related topic, “Thankful Trust.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever struggled with uncertainty and regret? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  What we are really going to be talking about is a mindset.  Specifically, your mindset when you face an unknown future and wish you knew tomorrow’s answers today, or when you reflect on your past experiences and wish that things could have been different.  In these circumstances, the real question is whether or not you can and should respond with gratitude instead of uncertainty or regret.

Let me tell you the story of the last year of my life (if you want to hear the story, you’ll have to listen to the podcast!). 

My future is unknown to me.  But not to God.  However, because my future is unknown to me, my present fear causes me to sometimes second-guess my past. When I do that, I am just like the Israelites after they were freed from bondage in Egypt, the first time they ran into difficulties and a food shortage.  Almost immediately, they started regretting their choice to leave Egypt and started crying for what they used to have.  In the same way, when I am being led by fear, I can start to question or even regret my choices.  But if I am being obedient to God and following His clear direction, I need to trust Him with an attitude of gratefulness for his purpose and provision – even when I can’t see it yet.

That’s where today’s question takes us.  What is our mindset, and on what is our mindset based?  When we are being faithful and obedient to God, He will not fail.  His plan cannot be prevented.  And He sees the future and knows where He wants me to be tomorrow and why.  Furthermore, there are times (and for me, this is one of those times) He doesn’t want me to see beyond tomorrow.  Again, this was modeled by the Israelites when God’s response to their fear was to promise them their daily food in the form of manna, but only for what they needed that day, and no more. For me personally, at this specific juncture in my life, but for a purpose that He knows, God is choosing to give me my manna on a daily basis, and I have to trust Him that it will be there the day after that, and the day after that.  But I also have to do it with an attitude of thankfulness that should arise from my confidence and trust in His goodness and purpose for me.

So, here’s what you need to take away: If you are being faithful and obedient to God, then you need to:

  • Place your uncertainty about the future in God’s hands, because He has a certain purpose.

  • View your past difficulties and current struggle with thankfulness, knowing that it is factored into the purpose God has for your future.

I am reminded, finally, of something my dad once said related to the topic of regret.  He was pondering the challenges that we experience in our lives, that cause us to sometimes question things, and he said, “You will never regret living for God”

I believe that is true with all my heart, therefore I am choosing in the present to walk in thankful trust of God, in view of both future uncertainties and past circumstances. And so, I am thankful that He has me in the position I am today, living completely in dependence on Him and trusting the purpose, plan, and timing of what He has next for me.  My friend, what about you?  As you face your past, your present, and your future, are you choosing to live in thankful trust?

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Thankful Trust

“Thankful Trust.” That’s the phrase my wife has been reminding me of repeatedly in the last few months, and it’s appropriate to share it with you during this week of Thanksgiving. Here’s the reason behind this frequent reminder.

A little less than a year ago, I entered a new place of transition in my life. I have been involved in Christian education for over 30 years and have been able to learn and grow as a leader through my experience. However, during the last two decades together, we (my wife and I) have also been walking through a challenging journey that included her battle with cancer, and it has progressed to the point where I needed to find opportunities to use my experience and skill set in ways that would allow me much greater flexibility to care for my wife’s needs. So, I stepped away from my role as the head of a Christian School, re-established my old website under a new name (www.LeadershipEzra.com), published my second book (“Leadership Ezra”, a book that specifically addresses effective Christian leadership drawn from lessons taken from the Old Testament book of Ezra, available on Amazon), and began to explore opportunities to teach undergraduate and graduate courses on leadership within online programs. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to organize and clarify some of my thoughts in writing, and then being able to share those thoughts with you. It has helped me to grow even more in my own leadership while giving me the chance to benefit others, and so I hope it is helpful for you. But this process of transition I have been walking through is quite frightening with lots of unknowns – regarding my wife’s health as well as my source of income and service to God – and so I have had to be intentional about trusting God with a thankful attitude.

That brings me back to “Thankful Trust.” It has kind of become a mantra in the last few months, especially when I become overwhelmed with anxiety and uncertainty. Clearly, God has been directing my life in this process (a story for another time), but in my humanity, it is still easy for me to take my eyes off of God and focus on my circumstances. Hence the reason for intentionally being frequently reminded to live in thankful trust: thankful to God regardless of the circumstances, and trusting His love, care, provision, and direction, fully believing that I am in His will and therefore trusting His plan and purpose. After all, isn’t that one of the primary lessons that I took away from my study of Ezra?

So, in this week of Thanksgiving, may I remind and encourage you to be intentionally thankful as well, regardless of life’s circumstances, knowing that God loves you and has a plan and purpose for you, Trust His plan, and choose a spirit of gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A

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Podcast Episode 11 – How Do You Learn to Lead?

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article on a related topic, “My Simple Diagram of Leadership.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever struggled with understanding how you are supposed to lead? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  Every leader must lead for the first time sometime, and regardless of bravado, charisma, or confidence, you don’t know everything that you are going to know in 10 years.  Leadership is a learning process, and therefore, in that process, you are learning how to lead better than you did yesterday.  However, there are lots of theories and models in the leadership world of how you are supposed to lead, so how are you supposed to know what works? I think that ultimately, the real question is not so much, “How are you supposed to lead?”, but rather how are you supposed to lead?” 

For most of my life, I have been a larger person.  I also told myself and others that I was simply big-boned, that I carried my weight well, that I was “solid” (in a self-complimentary way).  In reality, I am in love with food.  I love to taste almost anything, I am a habitual grazer, and I would rather eat too much than throw food away.  As a result, regardless of how I phrased it, I was very overweight and unhealthy.  Then, in my mid-40s, I was confronted with three things: the needs of my wife, who was facing a health crisis caused by cancer; my own developing health issues caused by my eating habits; and a conversation with my son who confronted my gluttony.  I knew I needed to change, but I also knew that there were a myriad of programs and plans out there to help, but how was I to know what would actually work?  In the end, I figured out that I could do several simple, time-proven things, while at the same time being true to myself.  I counted my calories, ate smaller portions, ate breakfast in the morning to kick-start my metabolism, weighed myself every day, and did very moderate exercise.  But I also had coffee with milk and sugar every morning, and a small piece of chocolate every evening, and I ate food that I liked.  The end result?  I lost almost 60 pounds in 4 months.  And I have (mostly) kept it off since. 

What’s the point of this story?  It’s this:  there are dozens, if not hundreds, of plans, programs, and magic pills that all claim to help you lose weight, but in the end, it boils down to a few simple things regardless of the program:  eat healthy and in moderation, find a way to hold yourself accountable, and make it enjoyable. 

The same thing is true for leadership.  There are as many leadership theories as there are diet plans, so you do you know what to do?  The key is to do two things: 

1) Learn the fundamental leadership principles and practices that everybody needs to know, and

2) Make it personal by implementing those things in a way that fits who you are.

For example, as an introverted head of school, I knew I needed to interact with parents at events, but it is not part of my nature to “work the crowd.”  So what would I do?  I would position myself someplace where most parents would pass by me – at the door to greet people at a school event, or at the entrance of the bleachers at a ballgame – and let those interactions happen organically. 

So, here’s what you need to take away: you need to intentionally learn the fundamental principles of leadership, and you need to continue to learn and grow in your leadership for the rest of your life.  But at the same time, you need to be you.  That latest book you read likely has some great principles that you can implement, but you are not the author, and those principles won’t necessarily fit you the way they fit that person.   Therefore, you need to make it your own.

The question we come back to is, “How are you supposed to lead?” Do the few things that everyone should learn to do as a leader, but do it in a way that reflects your strengths, your personality, and your nature.  Over time, you will learn new principles, develop your own gifts, and become the leader you should be.

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My Simple Diagram of Leadership

A number of years ago, in my doctoral studies, I took a course called Issues in Leadership Theory. Throughout the course, we, the students, were assigned essays on various theories, ideas, and characteristics of leadership, with which we were expected to interact and then write reflective responses. The goal was to build a broader understanding of leadership and of the effective practice of leadership.

I was taking this course while serving as the administrator of a K-12 school, one that had experienced some great difficulties and needed to be revitalized. I was on the ground floor, in the middle of leadership activity, trying to build and/or rebuild momentum, enrollment, programs, morale, and even (literally) a school building. There were many issues, needs, and deficiencies that I was wrestling with (like, how to start a hot lunch program, how to expand brand recognition in the community with no advertising budget or director of development, and how to attract new excellent teachers, with a persuasive vision, while retaining the existing excellent teachers who were resistant to change). Although I did not fully realize at the time the extent to which it was happening, I was actually in the process of developing my leadership style and principles of practice. And so, over the duration of that leadership course, as I read, interacted, and responded to the assignments, while at the same time implementing and learning the practical application of those lessons in my job, the ideas that resonated with me began to come together in my mind to form my own personal theory of leadership.

As I put those ideas together in a way that seemed to make sense to me, I began to see leadership as a process that occurs within a context, which I visually illustrate below in a diagram called Jeff’s Simple Diagram of Leadership (I like diagrams and illustrations). The basic concept is this: In any situation, there are leaders and followers. Sometimes who they are can change, but both of the individuals/groups are necessary. The leader must have knowledge of the context/environment in which the leader and followers exist (present). He must also have knowledge of the organizational history (past) and organizational vision (future). With this knowledge, the leader engages in the process that is a continuing cycle of analyzing past, present, and future in order to move people and the organization toward a desired growth, change, or direction.

Now that time has passed since I first formulated these ideas, I believe that this simple diagram is a very accurate picture, and in many ways was even prophetic, of how I have learned to lead. I have come to understand and value the extreme importance of story and culture, both in organizational history and in understanding the people with whom I, as a leader, work, and therefore have learned the value of listening and asking questions (past). I have experienced the importance of the role of relationship in the context and environment in which the leaders and followers interact, and in the process have developed my own relational skills (present). I have learned that I have the ability to see “the big picture” of what the organization ought to be and to communicate this in an understandable way (future). Along the way, I have discovered one of my greatest leadership strengths is the ability to make connections between these three – past, present, and future – in a way that makes sense to people. And now, as I look back, I can see that in each organization in which I have worked, my leadership has followed this pattern and process and has resulted in significant and positive change.

In that particular school in which I was first putting these ideas together, I must admit that I made many mistakes (truth be told, I have made mistakes in every role in which I have worked, but that’s part of the growth process). For example, this is where I learned the importance of taking time to listen to people and understand the culture before initiating change (by making the mistake of making changes too quickly without first understanding the environment). However, I grew in both my knowledge and practice of leadership, resulting in a number of significant positive changes, including, among other things: doubling of enrollment; restoration of financial stability; initiation of a large-scale building program; establishment of a school board, a hot lunch program, an after school program, and a parent-teacher organization; development and expansion of honors and advanced academic programs; and establishment of a student internship program. In a sense, it was a practicing lab in which my particular leadership ability and skills were nurtured and grew.

Since that time in my life, I have further developed effective leadership skills and practices that have enabled me to be an agent of change in several other schools and organizations. I have personally identified many of the basic principles that underscore my approach, which include principles such as: learn history and culture; people matter to God, so it is important to build relationships and care about people; see the big picture; recognize God’s sovereignty; know that to influence change, you have to change the way people think; communicate; empower; serve; be willing to do things differently. Over time, I have also seen my simple diagram of leadership emerge and remain as the crux of my personal theory of leadership, with the three key words of story, relationship, and change reflecting my leadership.

I have found what works well for me, and it involves some fundamental ideas that should be true for every leader, but it also is expressed in a way that matches who I am. I would encourage you to do the same – identify the core leadership principles that matter and learn how to package and use them in a way that best incorporates your strengths so that you can become the best leader you can be, by being yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Podcast Episode 10 – First Get the Whole Story

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article on the same topic: First Get the Whole Story. Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever been guilty of jumping to a conclusion before having all the information, and then regretting your response?  I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  There’s a verse in Proverbs, chapter 18 and verse 13, that speaks to this topic when it says, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”  Therefore, I want to take a few minutes to talk about the importance of hearing before answering, to avoid the folly and shame that comes when we do the opposite.

  I have probably been most guilty of doing this to my own children. Usually, it looks something like this:  I hear a noise, or I see a mess, and I immediately jump to conclusions about what my child must have done or said, and I react.  Too many times, that response has been followed by learning that I answered before hearing the whole story, and my response was wrong.  A great example of this is one carried out by my father to me when I was a young teenager, and one that I would tease him about for years afterward.  In this situation, my elementary school-aged sister was playing with her dolls and her dollhouse and asked me to play with her, with her dolls.  I was doing something else at the moment, so I told her I couldn’t.  Unbeknownst to me, she then went to my dad and told him a story of how I had said very mean and hurtful things to her.  He came into the room and proceeded to give me a painful consequence, catching me by surprise.  It was only afterward that he heard my side of the story and had to apologize for reacting wrongly to me.

Now, my dad was a wonderful father, so don’t judge him for this unless you can say unequivocally that you have never jumped to a conclusion, made wrong assumptions, and reacted differently than you should have before hearing the whole story.  But this is often our natural tendency, and it takes intentional work to exercise the discipline of seeking the whole truth and the full story.  And that’s what we should be doing in every context and situation: setting aside our preconceived bias and beliefs, seeking to hear and learn the full story, and then determining the best response.

As a leader, this needs to characterize our responses. I know that there are situations that require a quick and decisive response, but hopefully, your leadership experience has equipped you to be prepared to respond to those kinds of situations out of your breadth of leadership when you don’t have time to gather more information in the moment.  I also know that if we can be too slow sometimes, taking the time to gather so much detail that it paralyzes momentum.  But in most cases, you need to take some time to get the whole picture before formulating the right response.  I can tell you, in my role as a school administrator, when I had to discipline student behavior, I never regretted carefully getting the whole story first.

So here’s what you need to take away:  It is important to gather all the facts and information, as much as is reasonably possible, before determining your response.  This applies to addressing conflicts between people, determining strategic next steps in a plan, or responding to a challenge you are facing.  

So, I will circle back to the verse I started with:  “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”  If we don’t learn to look before we leap, or listen before we respond, we will likely make decisions that lead to messes that we have to clean up, and apologies that we need to make.  Therefore, when you are confronted with a situation that you need to address . . . first, get the whole story.

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Podcast Episode 9 – You Don’t Have to Do Everything

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article on the same topi: learning to delegate. Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever worn yourself out doing something by yourself because no one else will do it, or because they will not do it as well as you know it needs to be done?  I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  It’s really the question of control, of whether or not we are willing to relinquish control and to ask, assign, or allow someone else to do something.  Therefore, we’re going to talk about the importance of delegating.

In the first few months of my first experience as Head of School, I was confronted with this lesson.  And I mean that literally – my boss confronted me about it.  I was young, and although I had administrative experience, it had been in a supporting role.  I had never had my own administrative assistant before, and I was used to doing all the detail work on my own in order for my necessary tasks to be done, and to be done well.  But now I was the Head of 

School, with an administrative assistant.  In spite of that, I was doing my own detail work – preparing and printing documents, managing my calendar, and running errands for myself.  It didn’t take long before my boss called me into his office to tell me I needed to delegate to my assistant.  I felt guilty about handing off work that I could do myself . . . until he reminded me that there was other work that I needed to be doing that she couldn’t, and therefore I needed to give her work that she could do for me, so I could focus on the other things that only I could do.  He also reminded me that by not delegating many of these things to her, I was preventing her from doing her job well, which was not fair to her.  

The truth is, you cannot do it all.  Exodus 18 paints a picture of this with Moses when we see him handling ALL of the legal disputes and cases.  His father-in-law pointed out to him that it was a pace he could not maintain, and explained how the end result would be bad for both Moses and the people.  In the same way, if you are leading an organization, you are not and should not be a one-man show.  And so, you need to be willing to delegate.  Other people have skills that you do not have (or they need to be able to learn those skills), or they have specific responsibilities that are part of their duties, and so it is important that you not get in the way of that, for their sake as well as yours.  You also need to be willing to let them do it even if you don’t think they can do it as well as you.  First of all, humility is a much better character trait than arrogance, so accept that you might not be as good as you think, and they might be better than you think.  Second of all, they cannot learn and grow the way that they need to if they are not given the opportunity to try and to make mistakes. 

This boils down to the fact that the ability – and the willingness – to delegate is an important and necessary skill. Remember, It’s not just important for you, it’s also important for them. In your leadership, you need to be looking for three things:

  • Those things that should be done by someone else, because that person is better at it than you, or that person has the responsibility to do it, and you don’t.
  • Those things that can be done by someone else, and be done well enough, in order to free you to put more focus on things that are more important for you to do. 

  • Those things that ought to be given by you to someone else, so that you can be intentional about giving them opportunities for growth.

Here’s what you need to take away:  If you don’t learn to delegate appropriately, both your leadership and your personal well-being will suffer.  You will likely burn out, cause others to feel unvalued or inconsequential, and your work will become less effective and less excellent.  As my dad would say, sometimes it costs less to pay someone else to do something than to do it yourself.  In this case, it will likely cost you more to do it yourself than it would if you were to delegate.

So, it’s time to self-reflect and identify where, why, and how you need to begin delegating.  If you already are, that’s wonderful, but if you are not, then go back to three things you need to look for:  what should be done by someone else, what can be done by someone else, and what you ought to give to someone else.  Then take your first step, and delegate.

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