Wisdom for the practice of leadership

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 12: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You May Not Notice It Until It Is Not There

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life that illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it is an important reminder that there are things that you will not notice until they are no longer there.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You May Not Notice It Until It Is Not There

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life that illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it is an important reminder that there are things that you will not notice until they are no longer there.

I saw this illustrated recently when I had to get hearing aids. At my wife’s request, my doctor sent me to an audiologist to have my hearing checked, who determined that I was experiencing age-related hearing loss, and that if I would wear hearing aids, I would minimize the risk of damage to my hearing. At first, when I started wearing them, I could tell that they were there, because I could hear and feel that they were. Surprisingly to me, I could tell that I was hearing better (which was proof that I needed them), but because they were new, I could also hear echoing and background noises while my brain adjusted to the new and improved data that I was taking in with these devices.

After wearing them for a few weeks, I began to notice them less and less as my ears and my brain acclimated to wearing them. I reached the point of getting ready for bed and forgetting to take them out because I was no longer realizing that they were even there. At that stage, what was more noticeable to me was what happened when I took them out. Because I had adjusted to wearing them, before I took them out for the night, I could no longer tell that they were there, but once I removed them, it became obvious that they were not in.

That experience is a great picture that you tend to get used to things, eventually to the point that you only notice them when they are no longer there. They become something that you no longer notice or no longer question. It may be a process or tradition that is always done, without any thought about why it’s done. It’s just what you do without thinking about it. It may be something that’s part of a regular routine that you no longer pay attention to or think about, like how you brush your teeth or which leg you put into your pants first. Again, it’s just something you do without giving it a thought. But then it stops, or it goes away, and all of a sudden you notice it. But that didn’t happen until it was gone.

With that in mind, it is a good idea to consider a couple of questions about the processes, people, and pieces of your organization:

  1. Is it important enough that you need to remind yourself periodically? Knowing that you will begin to not notice it, and if it is important to you and your organization, you may need a periodic reminder to bring it back to the forefront of your awareness. This is true of the people you rely on as well as the routines and processes that are a normal part of what you do.
  2. Does it need attention so that it does not go away? If the loss of this, whether it’s a person or a process, will have a negative effect, you ought to consider what you need to do to give it the attention it needs before it (or he or she) goes away.

This is the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from having to get hearing aids as part of my aging process. Like white noise, there are things that you don’t notice until they’re gone. They have become normal and routine, and your brain relegates them to the background so it can give attention to other things. But then it goes away, and you become aware of what you are missing, and sometimes, that’s not good. So, periodically, make sure you attend to those things that you no longer notice, so that you don’t lose what you need before it’s too late.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 11: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You Have Imitators

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it is an important reminder that you have imitators.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Have Imitators

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it is an important reminder that you have imitators.

We were sitting down to eat breakfast together on a Saturday morning, and our grandchildren were sitting there with us. When we eat together, my granddaughter likes to sit next to my wife and eat what she is eating. Meanwhile, my grandson was sitting next to me, and he had some fried spam on his plate because that is one of his favorite breakfast foods. As we were talking and laughing, my wife looked over and asked, “Is he eating his spammy spam?” He answered, yes, but then my granddaughter chimed in and said: “I’m eating my muffin muffin!” We laughed because it was cute, but it was also a reminder of how much she was paying attention to everything my wife said and did, so that she could imitate her.

Early in my marriage, my wife made a comment to my mother about how much I wiggled my feet when I was going to sleep, and that this would keep her from falling asleep. My mother responded by telling my wife that my dad did the same thing. Years later, my dad came to visit a school where I worked, and he left my office to walk around the campus. After a while, a teacher (who had never met my dad) walked into my office and asked if my dad happened to be visiting, because he saw someone walking around that walked just like me. I could think of many more examples, but they all do the same thing: they illustrate our tendency to imitate the people who are close to us.

That’s an important truth to which you need to pay attention. The people that you spend time with, and the people who look up to you, will tend to imitate what you say and what you do. That includes the people that you work with. Therefore, you must pay attention to the example you are giving them to follow. More specifically, there are two significant truths that you need to pay attention to:

  1. People are watching you and will imitate what they hear you say and what they see you do. I happen to believe they are going to imitate what they see you do even more than what they hear you say, but both of these underscore the importance of your example (and this is why my dad would say, “Your walk talks, and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”). Regardless, you need to understand that they will imitate you.
  2. They will likely take it to the next level. When my kids were young, I remember hearing someone say that what we do in moderation, our children will do in excess. The same idea is true for you in your leadership. The people who imitate you will do what you did to a greater extent and extreme, which, again, underscores the importance of your example.

What this means is that you need to be intentional and aware about who is ahead of you and who is behind you. You need to realize that you are imitating someone, and that others are imitating you. The apostle Paul conveyed this same idea in 1 Corinthians 11:1 when he said, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter imitating my wife. Whether you realize it or not, and whether you want them to or not, people will imitate your example. They will use the words you use, in the way that you use them. They will do the things you do, in the way that you do them. Therefore, knowing that you will always have your own imitators, be intentional about the example you provide. Because the example you provide is what they will follow.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 10: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Something Unexpected Is Likely to Slow You Down

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it points out that there are often unexpected things that slow us down. 

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Something Unexpected Is Likely to Slow You Down

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life that illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it points out that there are often unexpected things that slow us down. 

I was out running an errand on a weekday afternoon, and by the time I was done, people were beginning to head home from work, so I knew that there would be a little more traffic. But that is all that I expected – a little more traffic. What was unexpected was that on the route home, there were two different areas of construction traffic, and at each one, multiple lanes were narrowed down to one, which slowed the traffic to a crawl for a couple of miles each time. When we finally got through those and off the highway, and into our small town, we then got stopped by a train at the railroad tracks and had to sit and wait for another five minutes until the train passed. Eventually, we did get home, but it was a good bit later than we had expected. 

As the Scottish poet Robert Burns said in 1735 in his poem “To a Mouse”, in a line that John Steinbeck made famous, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.“ So, like my drive home showed me, it doesn’t matter how much you plan and prepare; often, there are unexpected things that get in the way or slow you down. Sometimes those are things caused by circumstances over which you have no control, sometimes they are caused by other people (whether they did it intentionally or not), and sometimes it’s a result of a mistake that you made. Regardless, you weren’t planning on it, and it slowed you down or messed up your plans.

But that just happens. It’s normal. And because it is normal, and often unavoidable, the solution is not to keep it from happening, but, rather, to learn how to handle it. And that requires you to be able to do (or be!)a few things: 

  1. Be positive. As frustrating as it may be, you get to choose how you respond. You can choose to be angry, bitter, or critical; or you can choose to be positive and joyful in spite of any circumstances. (This was the subject of an article here on LeadershipEzra.com a few weeks ago.)
  2. Be flexible. You must be willing and able to let things be different. That may mean giving up some control over circumstances and events, so that you can accept and allow things to progress in a different way than you initially planned. You must be flexible enough to be willing and able to let go, either in part or in whole.
  3. Be adaptable. Learn to modify and adapt your plans based on the circumstances. In my first senior leadership role, I recall saying frequently, “If that doesn’t work, we will do something different.“ We need to be willing and able to adapt our plans when unexpected things get away.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from a trio of things that slowed me down when I was trying to get home. You will experience unexpected delays and obstacles. Certainly, you can put safeguards in place to avoid them as much as possible, but you will not be able to prevent them completely. Since that is the case, it is necessary that you cultivate the soft skills and abilities to handle those unexpected things well. You need to be positive, you need to be flexible, you need to be adaptable. Because something unexpected is likely to slow you down.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 9: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Know Your Limits

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s a great reminder that we need to know our limits.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Know Your Limits

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s a great reminder that we need to know our limits.

Once again, this is a story from my granddaughter, who is at the age where she is constantly making comments that are humorous, but also reflect a more profound truth, even though she doesn’t realize that’s what she’s doing. In this situation, she had gotten out a lot of her toys and was playing with them, but then she wanted to get out more toys, and she started to dump them out on top of the toys that were already out. Her mom stopped her, told her that before she could get out the additional toys to play with, first she had to put away the toys that she was done playing with. She stood in the middle of the room, looked around at all the toys that needed to be picked up, and said, “I’m just a little guy, I need help!”

Now, I know that part of the reason why she said that was because she is a toddler, and so she wanted someone else to pick it up. Part of it was also that she was overwhelmed by what she saw when she looked around. And then part of it was that she really did need some help. That acknowledgment on her part (that she needed help) is a great reminder to us, which is that we need to recognize our own limitations.

When I was younger, I was often afraid to ask for help because I thought that it was a sign of weakness, and so I would try to figure out how to do things on my own. That often resulted in either being overwhelmed or messing things up. Because I did not know how to do everything, and there were others who knew things that I did not, if I had only admitted my own limitations and learned to ask for and accept the help from others who could do things that I could not do, it would’ve been much better. However, I was afraid that admitting my limitations was a mark of failure.

The reality of life and leadership has taught me that it is not failure; it is, in fact, an important skill to be able to recognize where your skill is lacking. We all have areas of strength, but we also all have our own limitations. We need to recognize that, and learn to accept what our limitations are. You can work at overcoming, or at least improving on those limitations, but you still have them. When you can do that, and you can do it with humility, then you will be able to receive the help that you need.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter’s simple little comment about needing help. We all have our own limitations, and we need to acknowledge those so that we can get the help we need when we need it. I can’t do everything, and neither can you. So, learn to know your limits.

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 8: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Everybody Has a Lens

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illusutrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s a great reminder that everyone has a filter through which they see things. 

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Everybody Has a Lens

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s a great reminder that everyone has a filter through which they see things. 

I often share stories and comments from my grandchildren, because their words and actions tend to be unfiltered and innocent, and so they provide a great perspective on a view of the world through their innocent eyes. This is another one of those examples. My daughter had been playing in her bedroom, and when she came out of the room after a while, she warned us not to take too long to start playing when the little one asked us to play. She proceeded to tell us that she while she was in the room, she did not respond quickly enough to an invitation to play with a particular toy. My granddaughter then stated dejectedly, but quietly,  in her self-talk voice, “My momma doesn’t like me.” 

Now, of course, her mama does love her and like her, but in that moment, a little girl had a lens that was affecting her perception of the circumstances. Her three-year-old mind was equating playing together with a belief about someone’s care. Therefore, through that lens, she was interpreting a slow response to play as an indication of how much her mom liked her. Of course, a few minutes later, that was all forgotten as they played with a different toy, but it still provides a great illustration for you and me.

People all have their own lenses. As adults, those are lenses that have been formed over time based on past experiences and interactions. As those lenses are shaped, they then affect perceptions of present experiences and interactions. In the process, new interactions and experiences either affirm, modify, or disprove that perception. Knowing that this is true should make you consider three important things:

  1. You have a lens. You have a filter through which you perceive, understand, and interpret things. It stands to reason, then, that how you perceive, understand, and interpret things is affected by your particular filter. You need to be aware of that. You need to be able to recognize the lens that you have and how it got there, so that you have a better understanding of how and why you are viewing things the way that you are.
  2. Everybody else has a lens. For the same reason and in the same way as you, they have a filter, but theirs will be different than yours, because they have had different experiences and formation. It may be a vastly different lens, it may be very similar, or it may be somewhere in between, but it will be different. 
  3. Therefore, you cannot necessarily expect others to see things the same way as you, especially if there is a lack of communication and dialogue. This underscores the necessity of actively listening to understand someone else’s lens and clearly communicating in a way that helps to minimize misunderstandings and conflicts that come from having different lenses.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter making a comment of whether or not someone liked her based on how quickly they responded to her invitation to play. We all have a lens, a filter, behind how we see and interpret the world around us. But so does everybody else. We need to recognize that we have that filter, and we need to accept that everyone else does as well. Then we need to learn how to build cooperation and understanding in spite of it. Because everybody has a lens.

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