Podcast episode 8 – Give People a Chance to Try

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article on the same topic: the importance of giving people the opportunity to try. Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever thought, “If only someone would give me a chance”? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore. Whether it’s fear of failure or of how it might make you look, unrealistic expectations or perfectionism, or for some other reason, often we are looking for a chance but don’t take the opportunity when it presents itself. So today, we are going to talk about why it matters to try something that is new or that scares you, and why it’s important to give the people you work with the opportunity to try as well. 

I have to admit, I’m a little bit of a perfectionist.  Or maybe a lot of a perfectionist. For that reason, and mixed with my people-pleasing tendency, I will sometimes resist trying something that I think  I might not do right the first time, especially if someone else is watching. But I’ve also learned I need to try anyway.  I once tried to sing in the choir at church, and the director asked me to narrate the program because my singing was throwing off everybody around me (think “Barney Fife” in the Andy Griffith episode where the church choir was singing in a competition).  But I also remember the first time I was offered a head of school role. I felt unqualified and unprepared, but I also knew it was what God was calling me to do, so I tried, and God blessed the work and grew me.

Clearly, I was not successful in everything I tried, but if I hadn’t tried, I wouldn’t have been successful in anything. A big part of the learning is in the doing, and if I waited until I was perfect and knew everything before trying, chances are I would never try.  Along the way, I found some things I could learn to do well and others that were not in my wheelhouse.  But even in the things I learned to do well, I made a lot of mistakes along the way, so I needed to give myself permission to make those mistakes, or else I might have quit trying.

There is a learning curve in everything new that you do, and research shows that the first part of a learning curve is actually a dip in performance before the improvement and growth begin to happen.  Often, people will experience this initial decline, assume it means failure, and quit before the upswing in growth.  You need to understand this in yourself, but you also need to understand it in others. It is in the trying and the doing that you will learn, grow, and develop.  Likewise, it is in the trying and the doing that those you are mentoring or leading will learn, grow, and develop, so it actually becomes your responsibility to find ways for them to try. Side note here:  like I said on the last episode, if you don’t make it safe for them to fail, you probably won’t be able to convince them to try.

So here’s what you need to take away:  I have often told students when dealing with a discipline situation, that if I were perfect, I could expect the same from them, but I’m not, so I can’t.  In the same way, you will not be perfect the first time you try something, nor will others that you are leading or developing.  However, you – and they – will learn in the process, therefore, it is so important that you be willing to try, and that you give others the opportunity to try as well. 

The bottom line is this – you need to be willing to try, and willing to give others a chance to try as well.  As I already mentioned when I referenced the last episode, making it safe to fail is a critical factor in getting people to be willing to try.  If they – and you – don’t try, you will never know if you can, and you jeopardize your own learning and growth.  So give yourself and others a chance to try.