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In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 4, I am exploring the first category, “Be Genuine,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being an example.

One of my father’s many great attributes was the character trait of #humility. As a teenager and a young man, I was often in awe at his capability and competence in so many areas, and yet he was never arrogant or prideful, and would not boast about his own accomplishments or abilities. Seemingly in spite of his extroverted nature and his constant interaction with people, he never seemed to be drawing attention to his own successes, but rather, poured into others. Like many young people, I suppose, I wished that everyone else could see how great my father was, yet he never seemed to point out those things in himself.

I finally began to better understand this about him when I was a senior in high school and was receiving a particular accolade. There was a brief mention of this accomplishment in the local newspaper, and the next time one of my aunts came to visit, she mentioned the article and said to me, in front of my dad, that she had had no idea of my level of accomplishment before. I remember my dad saying to me, “Jeff, if you’re good, you don’t have to tell people, they’ll tell you.” At first, on the surface, that seemed like a simple statement, but now I realize that my dad was trying to teach me two very important things:

  • Humility is one of the most valuable character traits a person can have. No one likes pompous arrogance. It is unattractive to brag about yourself and it makes you look needy, selfish, and insecure. In fact, #JimCollins points out in his best-selling book Good to Great that humility is one of the two primary attributes of a Level 5 Leader. So my dad taught me to see my skills and abilities as gifts from God to be used for the benefit of others, not for my own recognition.
  • Your actions speak louder than your words. One of his other many sayings (one I’ve often referenced) was, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.” He knew – and he taught me – that people would be far more affected by my actions than my words, and that it would be my actions that would make my words believable. So he taught me to let my actions speak for me.

#TomNelson, in his book Work Matters, points out that “we are witnesses by our words, but we also witness by our work. The excellence of our work often gives us the credibility to speak of the excellence of our Lord Jesus and to share the good news of the gospel with our coworkers.” In saying this, he reminds us of this same truth, that people will judge us, and by extension will judge our God, by the quality and competence of the work we do.   In turn, people will draw conclusions about us based on what they see. And that’s why Dr. #HenryCloud, in Necessary Endings, states that “the best predictor of the future is the past.” He points out that what we have seen people do and how we have seen them act in the past gives us the best picture of what they are likely to be like in the future.

The book of Proverbs echos this sentiment in Proverbs 27:2, which says, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips,” and in Proverbs 22:29, which says, “Do you see a man who excels in his work?  He will stand before kings, he will not stand before unknown men.”  The New Testament, in Philippians, talks about the fact that Jesus humbled himself (for the purpose of providing our salvation), but that God exalted Him.  In a similar manner, in our service and obedience to God, we ought to be humbling ourselves and glorifying Him, then letting others judge us by what we do and how we live, and letting God do the lifting up in the way that best completes His purpose.  Proverbs 3:4 reminds us that a life lived this way brings “favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.”

For good or for ill, people will draw conclusions about us based on what they observe. Therefore, as leaders, workers, followers, husbands and wives, students and teachers, or in whatever role we find ourselves, we ought to do our best and we ought to do it well. But we shouldn’t need to point it out; rather, we need to model humility along the way.  Your work and your actions should be such that people can see what you do, and see for themselves that you do it well, without you needing to arrogantly inflate yourself (and as a follower of Jesus, they should see a reflection of Him in your life at the same time). When that happens, they will be much more likely to appreciate your gifts and accomplishments than to resent them. So I will say the same thing to you that my dad said to me: If you’re good, you don’t have to tell people, they’ll tell you.

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 2, I am exploring the first category, “Be Genuine,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being an example.

Early in my marriage, my wife and my mother were having a conversation about me (always a scary thought), when my wife commented about how annoying it was that I would wiggle my feet while I went to sleep, which of course made it difficult for her to fall asleep. My mother replied, “His dad does the same thing!” What was most interesting to me about this was that I was not even aware (consciously, at least) that this was one of my dad’s habits.

Years later, when we lived in another state, my parents came to visit, and while there, my dad came to see me at work. It didn’t take long for my extroverted father to disappear in search of other conversations, and after a while, one of my coworkers stepped into my office and asked if my father happened to be visiting. When I asked what made him say that – knowing that he had not met my father – he said, “Because I just saw someone who walks exactly like you . . . and like your son.” These two events illustrated for me the realization of how much I had followed my father’s example (whether I was aware of it or not), and how much my son, in turn, was following mine.

This is true for all of us – we are examples, whether we consciously realize it or not. People watch us, especially people that are close to us or are following us. And when they watch us, they learn from our example, and emulate what we do, in some form or another. That’s why it doesn’t actually work for us to tell our children to “do as I say and not as I do,” because the truth is, they are going to do what we do regardless of what we say.

Knowing the power of our example, the Apostle Peter gives it some attention in the book of I Peter. In fact, he specifically talks about our example in the context of leadership, but before we get there, let’s get a broader view of the whole book of I Peter, because it helps our understanding. In the first four chapters, Peter seems to spend a lot of time talking about the importance of serving others in humility. Most of this instruction is applied to specific relationships and circumstances (such as the relationship between citizen and government, husband and wife, employer and employee, Christian brothers and sisters, and so on), but is also connected back in some way to our call to glorify God and reflect Christ in everything we do. He also clearly says that having this kind of conduct and character will not always be received well, and, in fact, may bring persecution and suffering, but to do it anyway . . . because our motive is always outside of ourselves: again, so that God can be glorified and Christ can be modeled

In this context of serving, humility, and representing Jesus, Peter says in chapter 5, verses 1-3:

1To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”

Peter says that those who are leaders have a responsibility to watch over and care for the people they lead. When I read how he describes that, it sounds to me like it is an obligation that should not be done out of obligation! He says we are to do this not because we have to, but because we want to; not for what we can get out of it, but for what we can give; and not to climb the ladder or exert power, but to serve as an example of what we are trying to grow. He says that we need to lead with a positive, selfless, and giving attitude, while living an authentic example in front of them.

You see, as a leader you ought to be caring for the people you lead, but you shouldn’t do it for what you can get out of it, rather, you should do it because it is the right thing to do. In doing so, you provide an example that will shape and influence them far more than you realize, because they are watching you and they will imitate you. In the end, your recognition and reward is beyond the material and temporal gains, but will instead be the lifetime reward of developing people, and the eternal reward of glorifying God. Therefore, as a leader: be an example to the flock.

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 2, I am exploring the first category, “Be Genuine,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being authentic. Here is the transcript of the podcast.

While there are many leadership styles and no single leadership type or personality, certain attitudes, skills, and characteristics are important in a leader for that leader to be effective, so I started thinking about what those things might be (pun intended). While not an all-inclusive list, I identified what I believe are a few of those “Be-Attitudes” in the context of leadership that are essential to leading well.

I spent 30 years in Christian education ministry, and the task to which God called me in that ministry was to bring healing and restoration to broken, hurting, and/or dysfunctional schools. One of those schools, in the Midwest appeared on the surface to have it all together, and was a stellar example of what excellence should look like. In fact, when my wife were considering accepting a position there, we were ready to decline it because it didn’t seem to have the ministry need that God had called us to serve. That is, until we learned what had happened behind the scenes. This school had recently gone through a crisis of leadership at both the board and administrative level that had caused great wounds, resulting in a lack of trust, a resistance to transparency, and lots of hurt. I took that job, and went into it knowing that one of my priorities (if not my greatest priority at the outset) was to bring healing and restore trust. As I prepared and prayed about how to do that, I knew that I would need to be very intentional about stating out loud things that I would be doing, and then making absolutely sure I actually did those things. From little things like, “I will be visiting your class tomorrow during 3rd period” to bigger things like, “On Friday I am going to send a survey out to all the teachers about whether or not we need to change ‘X’ and how we ought to approach it.” What I was doing was giving myself ways to demonstrate that I would do what I said I would do. I was showing them I could be trusted. I did that over and over again for the whole school year. I kept telling them what I would do and then doing it. In this week’s corresponding article, I reference Kouzes and Posner and their acronym, DWYSYWD, which stands for “Do What You Say You Will Do.” At the end of the school year, when I sat with the teachers and asked them to tell me the three best things about the year and three things to work on for next year, every single small group of teachers responded by saying that trust had been restored.

What I had done was to demonstrate authenticity in my character and in my leadership, and the result was that they began to trust me. In a culture where trust had been crushed and was absent, I was able to restore trust by being authentic. And please know that what I did was not to manipulate and deceive or put on a show. One of the personal character traits that matters to me is integrity, and so I wanted them to see that I had integrity and that I would keep my word. Therefore, I intentionally looked for ways that I could show them that’s who I really was, so that they could trust me. I would say what I was going to do, and then I would do what I said. They would have been able to tell if it wasn’t genuine, so it wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t real or authentic.

The lesson for you is that you too need to be authentic, which means being who you say you are, and modeling consistency and trustworthiness. Keep your word and do what you say you will do. I’ve shared several times on this podcast that my dad would say, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.” People hear what you say, but then they look at your actions to see if they match. When they do, that’s when they believe that you are authentic.

The bottom line is that people need to know that you are genuine, that you say what you do and do what you say, and that they can therefore trust you. That’s why authenticity is so important for your leadership. They want to believe you and believe in you, but if they can’t, they won’t want to follow you. And that’s why this is one of the most critical of the Be-Attitudes of Better Leadership. If you want to make a difference with your leadership, then be genuine by being authentic.

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 2, I am exploring the first category, “Be Genuine,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being authentic.

I have worked with teenagers for years, and I believe one of their defining characteristics is a common dislike for hypocrisy. That is not to say that they don’t also demonstrate hypocrisy and wear masks themselves, but as a whole, they don’t like adults who say one thing and do another. They use the terms “hypocrite” or “fake” to describe this behavior, but there are also antonyms to these words that are particularly relevant to leadership: credible, genuine, real, or authentic. This belief or feeling, though, is not just true for teenagers; everyone dislikes hypocrisy and wants to see authenticity. This is a foundational principle that emerged in Kouzes & Posner’s leadership research, published in The Leadership Challenge, revealing that “more than anything, people want leaders who are credible. Credibility is the foundation of leadership.” This led to their statement of “The First Law of Leadership: if you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message.”

According to Peter Northouse, in Leadership: Theory and Practice, authentic leadership is leadership that is transparent, morally grounded, and responsive to people’s needs and values, and is developmental (a life-long process), intrapersonal (within), and interpersonal (relationship). In other words, authenticity is all about being genuine, real, and trustworthy, both with yourself and with others, and about showing genuine care for the best interest of others. Being authentic means being genuine, consistently matching your walk with your talk, and it is absolutely critical to effective leadership.

The most important component of authenticity is honesty. It is honesty that makes someone believable and trustworthy, because it becomes the visible evidence of integrity. According to Kouzes and Posner: “Regardless of what leaders say about their own integrity, people wait to be shown; they observe the behavior. Consistency between word and deed is how people judge someone to be honest.” You know this to be true. You can think of examples in your own experience of people who were dishonest and lacked integrity, and you know what you thought about those people and how it affected your level of trust. I don’t think anyone would question the significance of honesty. I think we also know that the “proof is in the pudding” – we decide someone’s honesty based on the actions that we see.

So then, besides the characteristic of honesty, what does authenticity look like?

First, you must understand that what it does not look like is imitation. To be authentic, you must be you, not someone else, and sometimes that is much more difficult than we realize. It’s fairly easy for us to try to take on attributes and characteristics of people we look up to, and it’s also appealing to try to imitate others who we want to be like. But the truth is, “no one can be authentic by trying to imitate someone else. You can learn from others’ experiences, but there is no way you can be successful when you are trying to be like them. People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not a replica of someone else” (George, et. al., Discovering your authentic leadership). It’s true that there are some things that we do because we have been exposed to an influential person in our lives; for example, I can point out a number of my own behaviors that reflect my father’s influence, and I can describe important ways in which my wife has shaped who I am. However, being affected by their influence does not mean that I am being them. Rather, everything I have learned has had to be applied in a way that matches my own personality and characteristics. I still have to be me.

Second, authenticity means that people can trust you to “DWYSYWD: Do What You Say You Will Do. DWYSYWD has two essential elements: say and do. To be credible in action, leaders must be clear about their beliefs; they must know what they stand for. That’s the “say” part. Then they must put what they say into practice: they must act on their beliefs and “do” (Kouzes and Posner). This characteristic will most clearly be revealed when the pressure is on and the challenge is great. Without question, “the values that form the basis for authentic leadership are derived from your beliefs and convictions, but you will not know what your true values are until they are tested under pressure” (George, et. Al.). When the heat is turned up, the fire will usually reveal your true colors, and that’s when people can see if your authenticity is real.

The conclusion, then, is that a leader must be authentic in order to be effective. People must be able to tell that you are genuine, that you are who you say you are because you do what you say you will do. Whether you realize it or not, you are being watched by your people, your family, your customers, and your community, so that they can determine if you are believable and therefore trustworthy. And if they don’t trust you, they won’t follow you. That’s why I believe that authenticity needs to be at the top of the list for every leader.

George, B., Sims, P., McLean, A. N., and Mayer, D., “Discovering Your Authentic Leadership” in HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Leadership (2011).

Kouzes, J. M., and Posner, B. Z. (2002). The Leadership Challenge (3rd Ed.).

Northouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and Practice.