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Podcast Episode 15 – Fill In the Gaps

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “Fill In the Gaps.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever felt like you had to know how to do everything, and do it well, in order to be a good leader? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  Whether it’s because of pride, perfectionism, fear of rejection or failure, or being a people pleaser, it’s the tendency to think that we must be the expert in every facet of leadership and organizational needs. This false ideal is what is called the “myth of the complete leader,” according to an article I read in Harvard Business Review’s “10 Must Reads on Leadership.” 

In my first role as the head of school in a small midwestern Christian school, the administration consisted of me, the receptionist who was also my administrative assistant, and the athletic director who was also a teacher.  So in reality, most of the time, when my administrative assistant was serving as the receptionist and the athletic director was in class teaching, I was on my own.  Often I would joke (and usually out loud) as I was walking to my office that I was headed to an administrative meeting with myself.  The small size of the school necessitated that I wore many administrative hats (and one year also taught a class), but that also made it easier for me to think that I had to be do everything, and do it well.  “Surprisingly” that turned out to not be good leadership. I had to learn over time to identify other people who could do things better than me and tap into those resources (like getting the church’s volunteer accountant to help me learn to build and maintain the budget).

The truth is, you can’t do everything well. My dad (his name was Jack) was good at a lot of things, but whenever someone tried to portray him as good at everything, he would say, “I’m a Jack of all trades but a master of none.”  God has gifted us all in different ways, but no one person has all gifts, so no one person can do all things exceptionally well. The challenge for leaders has been the pressure to appear knowledgeable and excellent on everything related to their organization or job.  Whether that pressure is self-imposed or others-imposed, it’s not realistic and can result in poor leadership over time.

What that means for you is that you need to take off the mask of perfection and completeness and learn to fill in your gaps with others who are more gifted in some ways than you.  I have been married to my wife for almost 36 years, and throughout my whole marriage I have told people that because of her, I am a much better person than I would have been without her.  She has filled in my gaps and strengthened my leadership in the process.  I am convinced that most of the Jobs I have had have come after my prospective employer met Nora, because she made me look better.  Similarly, having people around you who fill in your gaps will make you look better and help you lead better.

Here’s what you need to take away:  Stop trying to do everything.  There are people around you with gifts and abilities who can do things that will complement your leadership if you will humble yourself, accept that you can’t do it all (and realize that most people aren’t expecting you to), and let other people help fill in those gaps. 

The bottom line is that none of us is a complete leader.  We will be stronger in some areas than others, and so our leadership will be better if we let others do things that they do well, that we don’t.  That’s how our gaps get filled in, we become much better leaders who are operating in reality, and the organization as a whole improves.  Think about it – if doing this makes the organization better, doesn’t that, in turn, reflect on your leadership? So, find the right people to fill in the gaps.

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Fill in the Gaps

One of my favorite lines from the movie “Rocky” takes place when Paulie (Rocky’s best friend) is having a conversation with Rocky in a meat locker.  Paulie is asking Rocky what he sees in Adrian (Paulie’s sister), and gives a straightforward question when he asks, “What’s the attraction?” Here’s the line I love, which I think is incredibly profound:  Rocky replies by saying, “I don’t know, she fills gaps, I guess. . . She’s got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.”

I have often used this phrase when providing marriage counseling.  When I would meet with a couple, I would use as an illustration a ring that my mother-in-law had, which was made up of separate bands, each with alternating spaces and gemstones, that, when put together, made one beautiful circular band of gems. Then I would quote the line from Rocky, and explain how, in a marriage relationship, a husband and wife each bring different strengths and weaknesses, and that part of their individual role in building a successful marriage was to fill in each other’s gaps so that they would be better as a couple than either one could be as an individual.

This same idea should be true in teams but often is not.  Rath and Conchie (Strengths-Based Leadership) realized this in their study of teams and leadership, finding that “rarely are people recruited to an executive team because their strengths are the best complement to those of the existing team members.” (2008, p. 21) When they looked for teams that were successful and functioning well, they discovered that “while each member had his or her own unique strengths, the most cohesive and successful teams possessed broader groupings of strengths.” (p.22)  From this, they learned that “although individuals need not be well-rounded, teams should be” (p. 23), and therefore “it serves a team well to have a representation of strengths.” (p. 23)

The truth of the matter is, no one individual leader can be the best at everything that is needed.  When one person tries to “do it all,” the result is, as the old saying states, “a jack of all trades but a master of none.” But when a team is assembled that is comprised of differing strengths and abilities, the members of that team fill in the gaps for each other.  It makes sense, then, that good leaders “understand what they’re good at and what they’re not and have good judgment about how they can work with others to build on their strengths and offset their limitations.” (Ancona, Malone, Orlikowski, & Senge, 2011, p. 181)  These leaders gather teams that offset the leader’s limitations.  The result is that the combination of individual strengths makes a better whole.

As a leader, you need to know your limitations and your capabilities.  Where you have limitations, or gaps, it is a misuse of your abilities and your time to try to fill in those gaps on your own when you have people around you who can fill in those gaps for you.  This means it is part of your responsibility as a leader to be intentional about placing people on your team who will provide the best combination of necessary strengths and skills.  It is also your responsibility to be active in developing those strengths and skills in your team members.  In the process, when you identify a deficiency in the team that cannot be filled by a current team member, you need to find the right person who can fill in that gap and complete the team.  In the end, the best teams are not necessarily a simple combination of the best individuals, but rather the combination of people who fill in all the gaps.

Ancona, D., Malone, T. W., Orlikowski, W. J., & Senge, P. M. (2011). In Praise of the Incomplete Leader HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Leadership (pp. 179-196). Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press.

Rath, T., & Conchie, B. (2008). Strengths-Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams, and Why People Follow. New York, NY: Gallup Press.

 

 

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