Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it reminds us that every moment is a teachable moment.
This is a lesson that jumped out at me when my children were little. They were in elementary school, and we were on our way to school in the morning. We pulled up to a stoplight at an intersection near our home, one that had multiple lanes. We were in the middle lane, and there were cars in front of us and on both sides of us (which is an important detail to know, with what I am about to describe). While I was waiting for the light to turn, I could see a minivan in my review mirror that did not seem to be slowing down. As she got a little closer, I could see that the driver was a woman with children in the back, and she was looking at her cell phone and not paying attention. It was clear that she was going to hit the back of my car, and I had all kinds of thoughts start going through my head (like “I have no way of getting out of the way,” and “Don’t panic and don’t say anything, so that the kids will be relaxed when we get hit and will, therefore, be less likely to be injured!”). At the last moment, she looked up, slammed on her brakes, screeched to a stop, and bumped lightly into the back of our car.
She came to enough of a stop that it did no damage, but in that moment, when the kids asked me what had just happened, the next thought that went through my mind was, “My kids are going to learn by what they see me do right now and how I respond.” With that thought in my head, I chose to tell my kids in a calm voice that someone had just bumped into our car, and we needed to pray for her because she must be having a hard day and we didn’t know what she was having to deal with in her life. Then I told them to keep praying for her while I went out to talk to her. Outside, I could see that there was no damage to my car at all, and I consciously chose to not express anger at her (because, again, I was thinking about what my children would learn as they were watching me out of the window). I hope that afterward she made it safely to wherever she going, but the most important thing for me that came from that experience was that every moment is a teachable moment to the people that are around you, and especially to the people who are close to you.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 conveys the same truth when it says, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Moses, speaking on behalf of God, describes how learning is happening all the time, in lots of ways, and both formally and informally. He applied this truth to the parent-child relationship, because children will learn not just from what their parents say, but also from what they see their parents do. In fact, I believe they will learn more from what they see than what they hear. As my dad would say to me, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
The same idea is true in your leadership. People are always watching you and learning from what they see. They are paying attention to how you handle yourself in difficult circumstances, how you are treating people, and how you respond in any given moment. What they see will teach them something, whether you realize it or not. You may teach them something about your character, or you may teach them how to act in a similar context, but you either way, you are teaching them. It’s up to you to decide what you are teaching.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from an almost-car accident that made me think about what my children would learn from what they saw me do. You may not realize it, but you are a teacher. People are learning from you, often without you saying a word and without your knowledge. That is a great power that you have, and, as Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben said in Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Always remember that people are watching and will learn from what they see, so that you can choose to be intentional about what you are teaching them. Because every moment is a teachable moment.
