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Podcast Season 4, Episode 15: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You Have a Frame of Reference

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it helps to illustrate that we all have a frame of reference.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Have a Frame of Reference

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it helps to illustrate that we all have a frame of reference.

We were blessed recently to travel in our little camper to an RV campground on the Gulf Coast. We were in a spot right on the shore, with a fire pit and a view that looked out over the water. It was a beautiful place to be, and a wonderful time of relaxation and refreshment. Our grandkids were there with us, and the second night that we were there, as we were sitting in chairs around the fire pit, my three-year-old granddaughter suddenly exclaimed, with great enthusiasm, “I’m living my best life!” Of course we laughed, but also loved the joy she was experiencing. In that particular moment of time, she truly believed that life couldn’t get any better than what she was experiencing.

However, as adults, we knew that her perspective was only relative to her 3 short years of life and to her specific experiences. In her mind, three years had been her whole life, so relative to that frame of reference, she really was experiencing her best life. From our frame of reference, though, we knew that she is expected to have many more years of life, with many more joyful experiences. But in that moment, and in relation to her frame of reference, she had a particular perspective on the world that shaped how she was viewing her circumstances.

That’s a great illustration for us, because we each have been and continue to be shaped by our own past experiences and current context, which then becomes our frame of reference through which we perceive and respond to the world around us. For example, if you have been greatly wounded by others in the past, that will affect how you view your interactions with others in the present. From your frame of reference, people can be hurtful, and so you need to guard yourself. But if you have experienced trusting relationships, then from that frame of reference, you want to believe that you can trust people. So no matter what your experiences have been, in the range from terrible to great, you tend to view life, and life circumstances, through your own frame of reference.

What does that mean for your leadership? While am sure that there are other significant lessons that you can draw from this, the two that jump out to me immediately are these:

  1. You need to recognize that you have a frame of reference. Your experiences and context will shape your perspective, which will lead to your perspective being just that – a perspective. From that perspective, or frame of reference, you will interpret the world around you as it happens.
  2. You also need to recognize that everyone else has a frame of reference. They have been shaped by their own experiences and context, which may lead to giving them a different perspective than the one you have. You may both see the same thing, but see it differently, as a byproduct of having a different frame of reference.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my 3-year-old granddaughter‘s announcement that she was living her best life. We all have a frame of reference that has been shaped by our experiences, through which we view our circumstances and our lives. We need to know that we do, and we need to know what it is, so that we can be self-aware that we have the perspective that we do. Yours may be different than mine, so you and I might see the same thing differently, but knowing that will help us to understand each other better. Because we all have a frame of reference.

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Quote Your Dad

“You are where you are, and you’re not where you’re not.”

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 14: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Know Your Culture and Your Context

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it reminds us that we need to understand our culture and our context.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Know Your Culture and Your Context

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it reminds us that we need to understand our culture and our context.

My granddaughter was sitting next to my wife while they were having a snack and playing with some toys together. As they were playing, my granddaughter became quiet and still, and seemed to be phased out for a moment, lost somewhere in her own mind. After a few minutes of sitting there, unblinking and unmoving, she suddenly turned to my wife, smiled, and said, “I was loading!”

To someone in another generation and time, that might not make any sense. But to a generation that has lived and grown up in a digital age, it’s obvious that this refers to what happens when a computer is loading a program, document, or website, and the cursor on the screen is spinning around and around while you wait. It’s terminology that is familiar to someone who has always known modern technology, and it has become a commonly understood idea. So when she said, “I was loading,” she understood what she was saying and it made sense to her. It also made sense to us. For just a few minutes, she was lost in her own thoughts while she refreshed her mind and her energy.

The reason why this made sense to her (and to us) is because it’s a normal part of her (and our) culture and context. It is a normal part of the broader digital culture in which we all live, and it is a normal part of the specific context of her own life, where she uses devices and computers as part of her daily activity. Therefore, because it is a normal part of her culture and her context, it is an idea that she understood and could apply to her own activity. And because I also understand her culture and context, I knew what she meant when she made that statement.

That’s a great reminder for your leadership as well. You need to understand the culture and context in which you live. You need to know the greater cultural time period and environment that helps to define and shape where and when you live. You also need to know the specific local culture and context in which you are operating. Both of these things have an impact on the kind of decisions you make. For example, in one place I worked, the word “debrief” was a trauma-connected word and, therefore, not a word I could use in a meeting. In another place, a program that I had successfully implemented elsewhere did not work in this new place because the local culture and context was different.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from my granddaughter’s comment that she was “loading” when she had phased out for a few minutes. You need to understand the culture and context in which you live and work, both globally and locally. Know what the shaping factors are that are within your region and field of expertise, as well as what they are in the specific place in which you live and work and lead. If you want to lead well and make wise decisions, one thing you must do is to know your culture and your context.

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Quote Your Dad

”Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 13: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Your Walk Talks Louder Than Your Talk Talks

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it shows us that your walk talks louder than your talk talks.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Your Walk Talks Louder Than Your Talk Talks

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life, which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it shows us that your walk talks louder than your talk talks.

This is a story that I know I’ve shared before, probably more than once, because of what it illustrates. I was serving as an administrator in a school that was in a different state from where my parents lived, and they came to visit me. It was their first time visiting me there, so nobody knew who they were. My dad came to see me at work during this visit, and sat down in my office to talk with me about what I did in my role. Now, it’s important to understand that my dad was an extreme extrovert, about as extroverted as I am introverted. In fact, I remember him telling me one time, “If I am in an elevator for more than two floors, and there are other people in there with me, it physically hurts me if I don’t start talking to them.“ Suffice it to say, it was not long before he said he wanted to go take a walk around the campus and talk to people. So, he got up and left my office. About 30 minutes later, one of my teachers popped his head in the door and said, “Hey, Jeff, is your dad here?“ I said that he was, and the teacher replied and said, “I thought so, because I saw somebody walking around who walks just like you.” Think about that. He accurately identified my dad because we have the same walk.

So, this makes me think about one of the pages on my website, www.LeadershipEzra.com, called “Quote Your Dad,“ and it is one in which I share a weekly quote that communicates wisdom. Although sometimes I share quotes from other places, most of the time these are literally quotes from my own dad, who was known for the wise sayings that he would share. One of those quotes that I have most frequently shared, and one that I have most frequently repeated when I speak to others, is, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.” 

What he meant by that, and what this story illustrates, is that people are observing the way that you act and what you do, and drawing conclusions about who you are based on what they see. In fact, they will more likely draw conclusions about who you are based on what they see you do than on what they hear you say. And that is an incredibly important distinction and lesson for any leader. People both judge you and imitate you based on what they see, often regardless of what you say. More than that, if they see that what you say and what you do don’t match up, they identify that as hypocrisy and a lack of integrity. Therefore, if you are going to lead well, you must pay attention to your walk, and to how it matches your talk. You need to remember these four things:

  1. People are watching you and learning something about you by what they see, often when you don’t realize it. Just as often, they don’t realize that they’re doing it either.
  2. People hear what you are saying, even when they don’t hear what you say. That’s because they are listening with their eyes, often more than with their ears.
  3. People will believe what they see you do more than what they hear you say. If what you say and what you do don’t match, they will judge you based on what you do.
  4. People will trust you more when what they see you do matches what they hear you say. They will do that because you are showing integrity in who you are, which tells them they can believe you.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from someone recognizing who my dad was based on the fact that he and I walked the same way. People will see what you do and hear what you say, and then they will make a determination about who you are. They will judge your character first on what they see you do, but then on how it matches what you say. And that’s because your walk talks louder than your talk talks.

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Quote Your Dad

“You don’t see what you’re not looking for.”

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Podcast Season 4, Episode 12: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You May Not Notice It Until It Is Not There

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life that illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it is an important reminder that there are things that you will not notice until they are no longer there.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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