“Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
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Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it reminds us that every moment is a teachable moment.
Here is the link to the podcast.
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it reminds us that every moment is a teachable moment.
This is a lesson that jumped out at me when my children were little. They were in elementary school, and we were on our way to school in the morning. We pulled up to a stoplight at an intersection near our home, one that had multiple lanes. We were in the middle lane, and there were cars in front of us and on both sides of us (which is an important detail to know, with what I am about to describe). While I was waiting for the light to turn, I could see a minivan in my review mirror that did not seem to be slowing down. As she got a little closer, I could see that the driver was a woman with children in the back, and she was looking at her cell phone and not paying attention. It was clear that she was going to hit the back of my car, and I had all kinds of thoughts start going through my head (like “I have no way of getting out of the way,” and “Don’t panic and don’t say anything, so that the kids will be relaxed when we get hit and will, therefore, be less likely to be injured!”). At the last moment, she looked up, slammed on her brakes, screeched to a stop, and bumped lightly into the back of our car.
She came to enough of a stop that it did no damage, but in that moment, when the kids asked me what had just happened, the next thought that went through my mind was, “My kids are going to learn by what they see me do right now and how I respond.” With that thought in my head, I chose to tell my kids in a calm voice that someone had just bumped into our car, and we needed to pray for her because she must be having a hard day and we didn’t know what she was having to deal with in her life. Then I told them to keep praying for her while I went out to talk to her. Outside, I could see that there was no damage to my car at all, and I consciously chose to not express anger at her (because, again, I was thinking about what my children would learn as they were watching me out of the window). I hope that afterward she made it safely to wherever she going, but the most important thing for me that came from that experience was that every moment is a teachable moment to the people that are around you, and especially to the people who are close to you.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 conveys the same truth when it says, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Moses, speaking on behalf of God, describes how learning is happening all the time, in lots of ways, and both formally and informally. He applied this truth to the parent-child relationship, because children will learn not just from what their parents say, but also from what they see their parents do. In fact, I believe they will learn more from what they see than what they hear. As my dad would say to me, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”
The same idea is true in your leadership. People are always watching you and learning from what they see. They are paying attention to how you handle yourself in difficult circumstances, how you are treating people, and how you respond in any given moment. What they see will teach them something, whether you realize it or not. You may teach them something about your character, or you may teach them how to act in a similar context, but you either way, you are teaching them. It’s up to you to decide what you are teaching.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from an almost-car accident that made me think about what my children would learn from what they saw me do. You may not realize it, but you are a teacher. People are learning from you, often without you saying a word and without your knowledge. That is a great power that you have, and, as Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben said in Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Always remember that people are watching and will learn from what they see, so that you can choose to be intentional about what you are teaching them. Because every moment is a teachable moment.
“Your marriage is never stagnant. It is either growing or deteriorating, depending on what you are doing about it.”
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us something about the change that happens over time.
Here is the link to the podcast.
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us something about the change that happens over time.
I had an obvious and humbling reminder of this as I was playing with my grandchildren. We were on the floor together, playing with their toys, when I needed to get up to put the dog outside. I stood up, and that’s when it happened: I heard myself groan out loud. The sound of it stopped me in my tracks as I realized what it meant. I’m sure it was not the first time I groaned like that, but it was the first time that I noticed it. And that made me start thinking about all the other things that I do and the help that I need, like wearing readers or taking medicine, simply because I am aging.
You see, people, relationships, and circumstances do not remain static. They age and change over time (like me) and when they do, they require maintenance and care. In fact, experience and my counseling background have taught me that these things (people, relationships, and circumstances) tend to be either in a state of cultivation or deterioration, but not in between. They don’t stay the same, they don’t remain stagnant, so if you are not intentionally cultivating them, they will naturally decline and deteriorate. That’s the reason why you have to work at maintaining and developing them.
The same is true in organizations, which is significant for your leadership. They don’t remain static, but, rather, age and time bring change. Therefore you have to be intentional about how you navigate it. Some things need regular maintenance, like an oil change. Some things have become worn down and need to be refreshed, like a tuneup for your car. Some things need to be updated or replaced because they’ve worn out or are broken down, like when I had to replace the heating element in my dryer because it was no longer working effectively. Regardless, you cannot ignore it or do nothing. If you are not taking steps to address it, things will break down, and the damage and cost will be much more significant and more difficult to repair.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from hearing myself groan as I stood up. Wear and tear happens over time, which leads to deterioration. It is necessary for you to be intentional about maintaining and cultivating people, relationships, and your organization in order to navigate change with progress and growth and to maintain health. Remember, your organization either develops or declines, in part, based on how you take care of it. Age and time catches up to everyone, so be intentional about how you manage it.
“Be who God made you to be, go where God tells you to go, do what God calls you to do.”
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us something about responding to crises.
Here is the link to the podcast.
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us something about responding to crises.
We had a great lesson in this when a UPS driver delivered a package to our house in the middle of the day. When he left it at the front door, he rang the doorbell. My two-year-old and five-year-old grandchildren were in the house, and when the doorbell rang, three things immediately happened: the dog barked loudly, one grandchild ran to our room and dove on the bed and under the covers, while the other one ran yelling to the front door. My wife jokingly commented that we have one who runs away from danger and one who runs toward it!
I can also remember in my first experience as a head of school (one that was in partnership with a church), when I would meet with the church leaders every week as part of the leadership team. Over time, when we would discuss issues that we would face or items that would require a decision, a pattern began to emerge, which was that one of the pastors would immediately jump to his answer, and then talk it through out loud, and often by the end of his conversation, he was at a different place than he was at the beginning. The other two pastors would jump in after a little bit and start to dialogue back-and-forth. I would be thinking and processing about the issue, and listening to what everyone else was saying, but without speaking, and when they were all done, I would provide my input. One of them was always the first one to speak, I was always the last one to speak, and the others were somewhere in between. Each approach had its benefits, but each also had its shortcomings.
In the same way, we all have different responses to crises and circumstances, and our response is often dependent on our leadership style, our personal characteristics, the current context, and our past experience. The end result is that a crisis comes or a decision needs to be made, and we respond based on that combination of things, which may be different than the way someone else might respond. However you respond, though, you need to make sure it is done on purpose, for a purpose. For that to happen, you need to do two things:
- Understand your natural response. You may run away from danger to keep yourself and others safe, or you may run toward danger to try to intervene. You may have an immediate response that happens without thinking, or you may take a little bit of time to analyze and decide the best response. Regardless, understand what your ingrained and learned response is likely to be, so that you will know how you automatically respond when a crisis hits or a decision needs to be made.
- Prepare a good response. Now that you understand your own tendency, determine when your natural response is going to be the best action to take so that you are prepared and can feel confident with that response when it is needed. Then determine when a different response might be needed, and decide what you need to do in advance to be ready, which may likely involve a predetermined written plan and the involvement of others who respond differently than you.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from watching two opposite reactions from my grandchildren to a doorbell ring. Know what you are going to do without thinking, and know when that will be the best response. But also know when you will need a different response, and prepare for it. Doing this can help prevent you from “leaping without looking” when you need to slow down, and from paralyzed inaction when you need to speed up. One way of responding isn’t necessarily going to always be the best way, so if you want to be prepared for crises and decisions, know yourself and make a plan.
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about the importance of the gift of Jesus.
Here is the link to the podcast.
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