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Without Compromise, pt. 2: Dealing with Your Circumstances

When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon).  When that was done, I started a study of Daniel, and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students.  As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles, that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).  

The underlying basis of the story is this:  In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured.  In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit, against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3).  Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20).  But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.  

How did they do it?  One way was by seeing their circumstances in the right light.

Daniel was living in a time and in a place in which his nation was rejecting God and disobeying His commands.  God had promised judgment on Israel when they did that, so . . . that’s what happened. God allowed another nation to conquer Judah and take the Jews captive.  Even though Daniel (as we see later) was living righteously, he was not immune to the fallout from the events in his world (as the Bible says, “The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.”).  One of those effects was the “kidnapping” of talented teenagers, who were to be trained (“brainwashed”?) into a new identity, and this included Daniel.  Little did he know at the time that God was actually orchestrating something.

So then, how do we see Daniel respond when his world was turned upside down? He could have blamed or rejected God, given up on his faith, followed the crowd so as not to be singled out or persecuted, and/or chosen to follow a path of disobedience and sin. Instead, he trusted God even when it didn’t seem fair, remained faithful to the truth, refused to compromise even if it set him apart, and continued to be obedient in the face of great pressure.

What can we take away from the example of his response? There are both good and bad circumstances that occur in your life, and they may or may not be your own fault.  They could be a result of your own sin (bad choices) or righteousness (good choices), a result of someone else’s sin or righteousness, or a result of original sin or God’s favor or His plan. Regardless, in every case, God is working out His purpose for good, and I am accountable for my actions and my response, not for God’s role in the process. For God’s part, He is still in control, has a purpose, and uses people and circumstances – both good and bad – to carry out His purpose (and shape you). I, on the other hand, am responsible to do my part (Prov. 16:9) and to remember that my circumstances – both good and bad – are often outside of my control, but never outside of God’s.  Therefore, I need to answer for how I respond.

The lesson we learn from Daniel in this is the Lesson of Circumstances:  God has an intentional purpose for your life within your circumstances, and you get to choose your response, your trust, and your obedience.

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Podcast Episode 18 – Without Compromise (part 1)

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “The Most Important Thing.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you struggled with compromise or conformity? That’s the question we are going to talk about today.  This discussion is going to be the first in a series, all based on a study of Daniel Chapter 1 and corresponding to articles posted on the website.  The big idea we will be discussing is how you can navigate pressure – specifically, the pressure to compromise or conform in an unhealthy or immoral way – without deviating from your values.  It’s really going to be a discussion of how to lead and live with excellence without compromising your faith.  And today, that begins with an understanding of the most important lesson.

When I was a senior in high school, I had a job working in a local meat market and butcher shop.  My job was to come after the shop was closed in the evening and clean everything up from the day.  Keep in mind, this was a butcher shop so that included cleaning up after the slaughtering and process were done for the day! It was not only messy work, but it was also lonely work, because I was there by myself after everyone else had gone home.

One day, in the late spring, I was doing my job while listening to a Detroit Tigers baseball game on the radio (they won the World Series that year, with the dynamic team of Alan Trammel at Shortstop and Lou Whitaker at 2nd Base, and the outstanding pitching of Jack Morris).  My boss was a heavy smoker, and on this evening, he had left a pack of cigarettes behind, which had never happened before. As I was cleaning the front, I came across the cigarettes and was faced with an ethically dilemma.  I had never smoked before and had been vocal about my faith with classmates and adamant that smoking, and the use of substances, didn’t mesh with my faith.  But now they were right in front of me, and no one was around to see it.  I had the chance to pick up a cigarette and smoke it just to see what it would be like, and no one would know.  I picked one up and held it in my fingers, looked at it, wondering what it would taste and feel like, then put it away and never lit it up. 

Why did I make that decision?  In retrospect, that’s a simple answer:  I had already established my internal framework to guide my decision-making process, driven by my worldview that was based on my commitment to Jesus Christ and to the Bible. So, when the situation presented itself in front of me, I had actually made the decision ahead of time by doing that.  As tempting as it might have been as a teenager to try a cigarette, my beliefs and resulting personal principles directly corresponded to my behavior.  Therefore, I didn’t smoke because I couldn’t smoke and still be true to myself.  My behavior reflected my pre-established beliefs.

One of the most important – if not the most important – things you need to do to prepare yourself to stand against compromising your faith is to understand that your beliefs and your behavior are inseparable.  I’ve quoted my dad on this before, but as he used to say, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your walk talks.”  Your beliefs will result in your behavior, and your behavior will be a reflection of your beliefs.  Because this is so, two things will inevitably happen:

1) when you are confronted with a circumstance that challenges your faith and your values, how you respond will be a direct result of the worldview belief system that you have intentionally developed, and

2) Everyone around you will make judgments about who you are based on how they see you act in these circumstances.

Here’s what you need to take away:  What you believe and how you live go together.  Know what you believe and why it matters; just as importantly, your actions must match your beliefs. 

The bottom line is that your walk needs to be consistent with your talk, and that happens when your talk is consistent with your worldview, with what you hold to be true as your foundational belief system. Therefore, if you want to be able to navigate circumstances that challenge your faith and your integrity and come away without having compromised, then you must be purposeful about solidifying your worldview.  You won’t have one without the other.

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Without Compromise, pt. 1: The Most Important Thing

When I started a personal Bible study on the book of Ezra several years ago, I wasn’t expecting that I would turn my own study notes into a book about leadership, but that’s what happened (Leadership Ezra, available on Amazon).  When that was done, I started a study of Daniel and never made it past the first chapter before organizing my personal notes into a series of valuable lessons to share with students.  As time has gone on, God seems to be prompting me to do more with it, so I have begun the process of turning my notes into short articles that will then become the basis for chapters in a book (current working title: “Without Compromise: Leading with integrity in the face of pressure”).  

The story’s underlying basis is this:  In the time and world of Daniel, Israel and the capital city of Jerusalem were invaded and captured.  In that process, the most gifted and talented young men were given a “scholarship” [albeit against their will] to attend the most elite private school in the known world, one designed to prepare leaders & experts (Daniel 1:3).  Upon graduation, Daniel and his friends were at the top of the class and were hired into executive leadership positions right out of school (Daniel 1:17-20).  But here’s an incredibly significant observation: In between . . . they refused to compromise their faith, values, and integrity.  

How did they do it? 

The answers are revealed in the first chapter of the book, but the first (and most important) is reflected in what can be inferred from verse 8, which says, “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.” You see, in this newly placed environment, Daniel (and his three friends) were given the best food on the menu.  It was not for the purpose of ‘seducing” them to the side of evil, or for perverting who they were.  However, they knew what they believed (based on Jewish Law and the Scriptures), so they knew that eating that food wouldn’t be consistent with what they believed.  But they also knew they were far away from home under a lot of pressure. So, Daniel had to make a decision based on his personal worldview and principles, and his resulting response was to stand firm.

His response in verse 8 reveals three things:

  1. He knew what he believed.  He had a standard of morality, a set of values that was the basis of his belief, and he owned that standard as his own. 
  2. He knew why it mattered.  Therefore, he had turned that set of values into guiding principles reflected with integrity in his character and identity.
  3. He knew how he should respond. His standard of morality was translated into his decisions and his actions.

The takeaway for us is this:  It begins with your worldview, your core beliefs.  That’s your foundation.  Then, your beliefs are translated into principles, the guidelines you establish for yourself that show what matters to you.  That’s your framework.  Finally, your principles dictate the decisions you make and the actions you take (That’s your finish).  Ultimately, what you believe and how you behave are tied to each other.   Therefore, you need to know what you believe and why it matters so that it forms the framework of how you will live; just as importantly, your actions and decisions must match your beliefs. When you have done that, you are prepared to face any pressures to conform . . . without compromise.

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Quote Your Dad

“Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Proverbs 16:3

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Podcast Episode 17 – It’s Time for a Self-Assessment

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “It’s Time for a Self-Assessment.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you done a self-assessment lately? That’s the question we are going to talk about today, because it’s a perfect time to do it.  Self-assessment and self-reflection are important to your growth – both personal and professional.  The beginning of the calendar year is viewed as a time to reset and to make resolutions or set goals for the year.  Put both of these things together – the importance of self-assessment and the start of the new year – and it becomes the perfect time to do a self-evaluation to prepare your personal improvement plan for the coming year.

Years ago, my siblings and I, with our families, were all visiting at my parents’ house.  My dad was talking about wanting to build a deck on the back of the house outside of the back door, and in the course of the conversation we decided that the best time to do it was while we were there, so that we could all help.  So, my dad grabbed some paper and drew a sketch of what the deck would look like, made a list of materials and supplies he would need, and order them from the local lumberyard to be delivered the next day.  When the materials came the next morning, the four of us – my dad, me, and my two brothers – went to work, following my dad’s plans and instructions, and built a beautiful deck before the end of the day.  It’s a wonderful memory for me, but the point of the story for today’s question is that before we built the deck, dad did an assessment to determine what we had, what we needed, and how we needed to do it.

That’s the purpose of a self-assessment.  It’s to reflect on where you are, where you want to be, and what it’s going to take to get from where you are right now to where you want to be in the next year (and beyond).  This process for me evolved over time.  It started rather simply.  When I first became a teacher, I took time in the summer to determine where I wanted to go in each of my classes and laid out a plan of what I would need to do to get there.  Then when I moved into administrative roles, that became my annual practice in preparation for the next school year.  I would reflect on the previous year, and determine what changes and growth needed to take place in the next year and prepare a plan of implementation.  I didn’t turn this process into a truly personal growth plan until I started my doctoral program, and a process of self-reflection and assessment was built into the early stages of the program.  It was then that I started taking time every December and January to reflect on my previous year and set some personal growth goals.  Over time, as I grew in my leadership, this process grew into a more formalized process with categories and a template that I use every year to determine my 1- and 5-year goals.  A few years ago, I added in the stop of determining my personal “word for the year,” a word that became my focus for that year.  (A personal note here – for quite a few years before I did this, my wife would give me word or phrase to hold on to each year that she felt would be great help to me.  My wife is amazing).

I believe you need to have a similar process.  You need to have an annual process of self-reflection, self-assessment, and self-direction.  That means that every year, you should be taking some time to reflect on the previous year, assess where you are in your life (personally, professionally, physically, spiritually, in your relationships, and wherever else you think appropriate), and then you need to determine the progress, goals, and steps you want to put in place for yourself.  It doesn’t have to look exactly like mine.  In fact, there are lots of different templates and formats that you could follow, but regardless of how you do it, you should have one. 

Here’s what you need to take away:  It’s the beginning of the calendar year and a time of transition from one year to the next.  That makes it a natural time to review and reflect on the past year, evaluate the present, and determine the direction for the coming year.  Write it down in whatever format works best for you and refer to it throughout the year.  That will be your own personal improvement plan.

The bottom line is that self-assessment is important to your growth, both personally and professionally. Author Laurence J. Peter is said to have said, “If you do not know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else,” and you’ve probably also heard the adage, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” If you want to grow in the direction in which you intend, then you need to build this regular or annual discipline into your life.  Take time to self-reflect, self-assess, and prepare your plan for the next year.  And right now, at the beginning of a calendar year, it’s the perfect time to do it.

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Quote Your Dad

“For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:11

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Podcast Episode 16 – What Is the Truth About Christmas?

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “The Truth About Christmas.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you wondered what Christmas is really about? On today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore. In this holiday season of activity and celebration, it’s easy for the real meaning behind Christmas to become lost or buried beneath it all. That makes it important to intentionally step back every Christmas and remind ourselves of what Christmas is all about.

I have so many wonderful childhood memories and traditions surrounding Christmas. Some of them are specific individual memories like the year my parents got us a family gift of an air hockey table. We had so much fun playing with that game as a family. Others are traditions that we repeated every year, like opening one present on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas morning, opening stockings, followed by eating a big breakfast that my dad cooked, and then opening presents, and finally a Christmas dinner later that afternoon with extended family. My wife, meanwhile, grew up with different traditions, which included a big Christmas Eve dinner (often with extended family), and in addition to Christmas Day, celebrated Three Kings on January 6, a Puerto Rican celebration of the three wise men following the star to find baby Jesus.

When we got married and had kids, we blended some of those traditions together, and created new ones. Over the years, we would typically have a big dinner on Christmas Eve, and open one present before going to bed.  The next morning, we would open stockings and have a big breakfast of homemade Belgian waffles (recipe courtesy of my sister-in-law Lynnette) with strawberries and ice cream, along with bacon and eggs. I also always have half of a grapefruit because my dad always had grapefruit on Christmas morning, and it reminds me of him. Then we finally would open the presents.  Two weeks later, we celebrate Three Kings with our children.

But as meaningful as those things are, they miss the true, underlying meaning behind why we even celebrate Christmas in the first place, which is why we also always read the Christmas story during this season, usually on Christmas Eve before opening that first present.

What’s the Christmas Story? It’s found in Luke 1 and Matthew 1 and 2. It’s the story of when God, the Creator of the universe, sent His one and only Son to be born as a living human being, to live and walk this earth for about 33 years as both fully God and fully man. In doing that, He was able to live as a person like you and me, but live sinlessly in order to be the sacrifice for our sins when He paid the price on the cross with His death, burial, and subsequent resurrection. And His life on earth began as a baby born in a manger in Bethlehem. That’s what we are really celebrating at Christmas. 

What that means for you is that the real story behind Christmas points to the means of salvation through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Baby Jesus in the manger is the beginning of the whole story that ends at Easter, and it is of eternal significance to you.

Therefore, here’s what you need to take away. Jesus came as an innocent baby in order to become the perfect sacrifice for you and for me. Behind all the joys of family, gift-giving, and celebration that happen all throughout this season, this is the most important thing that we need to remember.

The bottom line is that we are sinners and, therefore, will be eternally separated from God, who is perfect. But Jesus paid the price so that we could be reconciled to God through Jesus’ sacrifice. My friend, if you have never placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, can I encourage you to take that step? Because that’s the real meaning and purpose of Christmas.

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The Truth About Christmas

I can remember the first time my oldest child asked me if Santa was real. She must have been about 5 or 6 years old, and I am sure she had heard things from friends at school and wanted to know from her parents if Santa was a real person who delivered presents for Christmas. At this age, she already knew that Jesus was her personal Savior, having come to an awareness of her need for Jesus to save her when she was 4 and 1/2 years old. I know that seems young (and it is), but her decision was totally driven by her own questions and her own choice to follow Jesus, unprompted by us as her parents, and was followed at that young age already with the realization of how that shaped her choices.

But, back to Santa. When she asked us that question – “Is Santa real?” – I was faced with a dilemma. Do I lie and preserve the fantasy for a little child, or do I tell the truth and squash childhood imagination? In the end, realized that it wasn’t a true “either/or” choice, and so we chose to tell the truth while also preserving imagination and fun. Because she asked, we knew she was seeking to make sense of the world around her, so we told her the truth – “No, Santa is not real . . .” – but then framed it into a purpose of imagination and joy – “. . . but it’s fun to pretend and imagine the stories of Santa, so we do it just for fun at Christmas time. But the real person we celebrate at Christmas is Jesus.”

Why was this important for us? Because we wanted our child to grow up with an understanding of the difference between fantasy (the Santa Clause we talk about at Christmas) and meaningful truth (the significance of the birth of Jesus). That’s the most important message of Christmas. Not that we receive gifts, or that Santa knows who is naughty or nice, or that reindeer can fly. The real message is that at this time, over 2000 years ago, God entered into our physical realm in the person of His Son, born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph. He did this so that Jesus could live His life as both fully God and fully man (theologians call this the Hypostatic Union), and live it sinlessly, so that He would be qualified to become the perfect sacrifice to pay for our sins through His death on the cross, burial, and resurrection. In doing this, He paid the penalty for our sins and opened the door for us to be reconciled to God. And that’s the Gospel message: that Jesus paid for our sins so that we could receive salvation by trusting fully in His work on the cross.

That’s the truth about Christmas. It’s the season that brought Jesus into our midst, which in turn would make salvation available to all who believe, not in the “jolly old elf” who brings us presents, but in the real, divine person who came to save us from our sin. My friend, if you have not placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, as the one and only means of salvation from your sin and reconciliation with God, I urge you to do that today. Acknowledge your sin and accept the payment of Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

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Quote Your Dad

“It’s not about cleaning; it’s about getting it clean.”

This is what my wife said to me early in our marriage when I was trying to help with the housework and had cleaned the bathroom. She walked in and looked around, and that’s what she said. It’s a great lesson for leadership. In any job, doing work is not the same as doing the work that needs to be done and doing it right.

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Podcast Episode 15 – Fill In the Gaps

This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article of the same name, “Fill In the Gaps.” Here is the transcript of the podcast:

Have you ever felt like you had to know how to do everything, and do it well, in order to be a good leader? I have, and on today’s episode, that’s the question we are going to explore.  Whether it’s because of pride, perfectionism, fear of rejection or failure, or being a people pleaser, it’s the tendency to think that we must be the expert in every facet of leadership and organizational needs. This false ideal is what is called the “myth of the complete leader,” according to an article I read in Harvard Business Review’s “10 Must Reads on Leadership.” 

In my first role as the head of school in a small midwestern Christian school, the administration consisted of me, the receptionist who was also my administrative assistant, and the athletic director who was also a teacher.  So in reality, most of the time, when my administrative assistant was serving as the receptionist and the athletic director was in class teaching, I was on my own.  Often I would joke (and usually out loud) as I was walking to my office that I was headed to an administrative meeting with myself.  The small size of the school necessitated that I wore many administrative hats (and one year also taught a class), but that also made it easier for me to think that I had to be do everything, and do it well.  “Surprisingly” that turned out to not be good leadership. I had to learn over time to identify other people who could do things better than me and tap into those resources (like getting the church’s volunteer accountant to help me learn to build and maintain the budget).

The truth is, you can’t do everything well. My dad (his name was Jack) was good at a lot of things, but whenever someone tried to portray him as good at everything, he would say, “I’m a Jack of all trades but a master of none.”  God has gifted us all in different ways, but no one person has all gifts, so no one person can do all things exceptionally well. The challenge for leaders has been the pressure to appear knowledgeable and excellent on everything related to their organization or job.  Whether that pressure is self-imposed or others-imposed, it’s not realistic and can result in poor leadership over time.

What that means for you is that you need to take off the mask of perfection and completeness and learn to fill in your gaps with others who are more gifted in some ways than you.  I have been married to my wife for almost 36 years, and throughout my whole marriage I have told people that because of her, I am a much better person than I would have been without her.  She has filled in my gaps and strengthened my leadership in the process.  I am convinced that most of the Jobs I have had have come after my prospective employer met Nora, because she made me look better.  Similarly, having people around you who fill in your gaps will make you look better and help you lead better.

Here’s what you need to take away:  Stop trying to do everything.  There are people around you with gifts and abilities who can do things that will complement your leadership if you will humble yourself, accept that you can’t do it all (and realize that most people aren’t expecting you to), and let other people help fill in those gaps. 

The bottom line is that none of us is a complete leader.  We will be stronger in some areas than others, and so our leadership will be better if we let others do things that they do well, that we don’t.  That’s how our gaps get filled in, we become much better leaders who are operating in reality, and the organization as a whole improves.  Think about it – if doing this makes the organization better, doesn’t that, in turn, reflect on your leadership? So, find the right people to fill in the gaps.

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