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When I started my doctoral program years ago, I first had to attend an orientation program with the other students who had been accepted as part of that year’s cohort. During those two weeks, we read books, listened to lectures, interacted in discussions and activities, and wrote. And wrote. And wrote.

Several of the writing assignments were specifically aimed at helping us to formulate our own personal IDP (Individual Development Plan) for the program, or, what we intended to accomplish and get out of our graduate school experience. One assignment in particular required us to take a variety of personality and ability inventories, outline our life experiences, and think through the things that most drew our interest and brought joy and fulfillment in order to identify our passion and calling.

It was this exercise that really helped me to clarify what it was that my experiences, abilities, and passions had prepared me to do during the next season of my life, and why those things were driving me. Through this process of reflection and writing, I realized what I loved doing, why I loved doing it, and how I was making a difference, and it confirmed and affirmed in me what I was doing with my life. (For me personally, it was also an affirmation of how God had gifted and prepared me, and what He had called me to do for His Kingdom.) It was a very valuable thought process, one that became a touch point in later years for keeping myself in the place where I best fit.

In the years since, I have incorporated a variety of other tools and activities to help me refine my own skill set and passions, and to help me continually improve at what I do. One of those activities is a yearly practice in December of listing my major goals for the coming year and maintaining a list of 5-year goals. The categories that work for me include personal/family goals, spiritual goals, financial goals, intellectual goals, and physical goals. This annual practice is one of the things that helps me regularly self-assess, thinking about what I’m doing, how I’m doing, and what I need to do in the near future in order to grow. As I am entering a new and different season in my life, this is just as valuable (if not more so!).

And now it’s the end of December, and the new year is ready to begin, and it’s that time when many of us have done or are doing some kind of self-assessment. We remember what we did (and didn’t) accomplish in the last year. We determine what we might want to accomplish in this next year. We try to make a fresh start. We make New Year’s resolutions.

So, as you make your resolutions this year, I would encourage you to be very intentional about this process. Identify your own specific interests, abilities, and opportunities. List your own one-year and five-year goals (and put them in a place where you can refer to them regularly). Take advantage of self-assessment tools, such as the (free) Myers-Briggs Personality Test; the One Page Personal Plan (OPPP) from Verne Harnish’s book Scaling Up;  the Rockefeller Habits, which incorporates the 5F’s (Family, Faith, Friends, Fitness, Finance); One Word that will Change Your Life, which walks you through the process of identifying the one word that will be your focus for the year; or use any other tool – or combination of tools – that works for you. Regardless of what you use, be purposeful about assessing yourself – reflect on your past experience, identify your current abilities and passions, and decide on your direction for the next year.

It’s a new year, a natural time for this kind of review. Do it, do it purposefully, and do it to grow. Happy New Year!

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

I can remember the first time my oldest child asked me if Santa was real. She must have been about 5 or 6 years old, and I am sure she had heard things from friends at school and wanted to know from her parents if Santa was a real person who delivered presents for Christmas. At that age, she already knew that Jesus was her personal Savior, having come to an awareness of her need for Jesus to save her when she was 4 and 1/2 years old. I know that seems young (and it is), but her decision was totally driven by her own questions and her own choice to follow Jesus, unprompted by us as her parents, and was followed at that young age already with the realization of how that shaped her choices.

But, back to Santa. When she asked us that question – “Is Santa real?” – I was faced with a dilemma. Do I tell a little lie and preserve the fantasy for a little child, or do I tell the truth and squash childhood imagination? In the end, realized that it wasn’t a true “either/or” choice, and so we chose to tell the truth while also preserving imagination and fun. Because she asked, we knew she was seeking to make sense of the world around her, so we told her the truth – “No, Santa is not real . . .” – but then framed it into a purpose of imagination and joy – “. . . but it’s fun to pretend and imagine the stories of Santa, so we do it just for fun at Christmas time. But the real person we celebrate at Christmas is Jesus.”

Why was this important for us? Because we wanted our child to grow up with an understanding of the difference between fantasy (the Santa Clause we talk about at Christmas) and meaningful truth (the significance of the birth of Jesus). That’s the most important message of Christmas. Not that we receive gifts, or that Santa knows who is naughty or nice, or that reindeer can fly. The real message is that at this time, over 2000 years ago, God entered into our physical realm in the person of His Son, born in Bethlehem to Mary and Joseph. He did this so that Jesus could live His life as both fully God and fully man (theologians call this the Hypostatic Union), and live it sinlessly, so that He would be qualified to become the perfect sacrifice to pay for our sins through His death on the cross, burial, and resurrection. In doing this, He paid the penalty for our sins and opened the door for us to be reconciled to God. And that’s the Gospel message: that Jesus paid for our sins so that we could receive salvation by trusting fully in His work on the cross.

That’s the truth about Christmas. It’s the season that brought Jesus into our midst, which in turn would make salvation available to all who believe, not in the “jolly old elf” who brings us presents, but in the real, divine person who came to save us from our sin. My friend, if you have not placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, as the one and only means of salvation from your sin and reconciliation with God, I urge you to do that today. Acknowledge your sin and accept the payment of Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“People matter to God.”

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 9, I am concluding our discussion of the second category, “Be Relational,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of building relationships.

Here is the link to the podcast.

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 9, I am concluding our discussion of the second category, “Be Relational,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of building relationships.

I believe that effective leadership, leadership that results in personal and organizational change, happens best within the context of relationship. In any situation or environment, there are leaders and followers; while those players can change, both – whether they be individuals or groups – are necessary. You cannot eliminate or ignore the fundamental fact that there is a relationship that exists between leaders and subordinates, therefore the effective leader will intentionally build and nurture relationships that benefit the leader, the followers, and the organization.

During my first year as the head of a school, I initially kept getting annoyed with the fact that necessary tasks were constantly interrupted by people and their needs. Over the course of that year, as I developed in my leadership, I realized that I needed to allow time for people. At first, I thought I could simply do this by budgeting a certain amount of time for tasks and the rest of my time for people. I quickly learned that I couldn’t really budget specific time for people; rather, I needed to make people and relationships the priority. Over the next few years, my own research validated for me the importance of relationship-building in leadership development, affirming the “value of relationship for effective leadership and its importance to leadership development . . . [and affirming] its importance for components such as building trust, communicating effectively, resolving conflict, impacting perceptions, and effecting change.” (McMaster, 2013)

Many leadership views have also drawn the same conclusion, evident in a number of leadership theorists who have highlighted or indicated the importance of relationship as a characteristic of effective leadership. For example, Margaret Wheatley (1999) includes as one of her leadership principles the focus on building and nurturing relationships that benefit the culture. Michael Fullan (2001) includes relationships as one of the five factors that leaders must manage in order to lead through change, and specifically says, “It is time . . . to alter our perspective to pay as much attention to how we treat people – co-workers, subordinates, customers – as we now typically pay attention to structures, strategies, and statistics. . . . there is a new style of leadership in successful companies – one that focuses on people and relationships as essential to getting sustained results.” Kouzes’ and Posner’s The Leadership Challenge (2002) described “five practices of exemplary leadership” and their application to leading through change, including the practices of “model the way”, “enable others to act,” and “encourage the heart,” all of which are instrumental in relationship building. And the Leader-Member Exchange (LMX) theory of leadership, as explained by Graen and Uhl-Bien, “makes the leader-member relationship the pivotal concept in the leadership process.” (Northouse, 2013)

Even beyond these few examples, as modern leadership theories and concepts have shifted in emphasis from transactional style (leadership is based on an exchange process between the leader and follower) to transformational style (leadership appeals to the moral fiber of the followers to enlist their support and involvement for their own benefit), the relationship between leaders and followers has become a focal point. I have learned this lesson clearly over the time of my leadership in the last few years, and I have now come to truly understand the importance of developing relationships with those whom I am directly leading or trying to impact. In my leadership roles, I have focused on building a culture of relationship between myself and my subordinates and superiors in order to facilitate an environment of greatest impact. Relationship has become pivotal to my practice of leadership.

The bottom line is that when people believe that they matter, and the leader builds a culture of relationship, the organization will benefit. So if you want to be a better leader, then be relational!

Fullan, M. (2001). Leading in a culture of change. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Kouzes, J. M., & Posner, B. Z. (2002). The leadership challenge (3rd ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

McMaster, J. S. (2013). The Influence of Christian Education on Leadership Development. The Journal of Applied Chrisitan Leadership, 7(1), 17.

Northouse, P. G. (2013). Leadership: Theory and practice (6th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.

Wheatley, M. J. (1999). Leadership and the new science: Discovering order in a chaotic world (2nd ed.). San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

“The best teaching happens in the context of relationship.”

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 8, I am continuing to explore the second category, “Be Relational,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being a teacher.

Here is the link to the podcast.

In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” Today in part 8, I am continuing to explore the second category, “Be Relational,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being a teacher.

When we think about teaching, our minds generally go immediately to the role of a classroom teacher in a school. We tend to think of it as an occupation, rather than a way to communicate, as a job that someone does as opposed to how you interact with others in a way that helps them to learn something. However, while teachers play an invaluable role in the development of children, we are mistaken if we think that it is a job that is only relegated to someone in a classroom. The reality is that if you lead people, you are a teacher.

I personally have experience in the professional role of educator, having served as a junior high and high school teacher for a number of years, and having spent three decades in a school environment as both teacher and administrator. As a teacher, I had subject matter that I was responsible for teaching, and my job was to help students learn necessary and relevant information and to develop critical thinking skills. But my role was also a vehicle through which I sought to shape the minds and the lives of my students. And that happened best in the context of a relationship.

Leaders are also seeking to shape the minds and lives of those they lead, and so effective leadership can and should learn some things from the theory and practice of professional educators. Therefore there is great value in understanding what teaching looks like and how it has an effect on people. Gaining an understanding of this can help us with a framework for how we also can teach others. If we want to become better teachers (and we all should), then we need to look at the learning process and at teachers. But then we also need to see that it happens best in the context of relationship.

In the book Blended (2015), authors Michael B. Horn and Heather Staker discuss the concept of disruptive innovation and its application to the world of education, especially as it applies to online instruction and blended learning. They make the point that today’s schools were originally designed to standardize teaching and testing (the opposite of differentiation and customization), but in today’s global, information-based culture, the new need is for student-centered learning, which is personalized (tailored to an individual student’s particular need) and competency-based (they must demonstrate mastery before moving on). As they researched students in the learning environment, they then sought to identify the primary motivators for student learning, and found two motivating desires: 1) to feel successful and make progress, and 2) to have fun with friends, engaging in positive, rewarding social experiences with others. In short, they learned that students – the learners – want to successfully achieve, experience good social relationships, and receive individualized instruction whereby they can show what they know in the way they do best.

So research gives us some insight into what learners in general want to experience, but what about your own experience? Like most people, you can probably think of teachers who made an impact on your life, so we should be asking ourselves what they did that makes them stand out to us. When you do that, you will probably find several core practices or behaviors that characterized those impactful teachers: 1) they cared; and specifically, they cared about you, and you knew it, 2) they were examples that you felt you could emulate, because they were models of how to live life effectively and with meaning, 3) they challenged and inspired you, pushing you to do more than you thought you were capable of doing, and 4) they gave you feedback, both positive and negative, to support, encourage, and grow you, but also to hold you accountable and correct you.

Now put these ideas together, those from research and those from your own personal experience, and it will begin to give you a picture of what it means to be a teacher. If you apply this to the people you lead, it will help you to see that they want to progress and achieve, they want to have positive and caring relationships, they want to do what they do well in the way they can do it best, they want someone to show them the way and challenge them to grow, and they want to know how they are doing. And you don’t have to be in a classroom to do all of these things, but you do need to be relational.

This provides for us a blueprint, a road map for how we can teach the people we lead and why it needs to happen in the context of relationship, and there are four foundational pillars that make up this plan:

  • First, teach with your heart, developing a genuine care for people. Build relationship by taking a personal interest in their lives and showing that you care about them.
  • Second, teach with your words. Take the time to explain why and how, helping people to understand what it is that they are doing and how it connects to the other people and tasks around them in the organization.
  • Third, teach with your life, by living in a way that is consistent with what you say, demonstrating integrity, and keeping your promises. Be an example they can emulate. Show them what you expect by demonstrating and modeling.
  • Finally, teach with your responses. Empower them to act, and then give them support and encouragement, but also give them constructive feedback to help them learn and improve.

In essence, to be an effective teacher, you must care, tell, show, and respond. These are all behaviors that happen best relationally and that can and should characterize you as an effective leader. Perhaps you have already been doing this and didn’t realize that in doing so, you have been a teacher. Perhaps you need to begin to do them. Regardless, remember that good teachers help students to achieve, even beyond what they believed was possible, and so it makes sense that if you can be a leader who teaches, the people you lead will grow and you will benefit.  And the most effective teachers know that the best teaching happens in the context of relationship.  So be relational, and be a teacher.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11