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This week’s episode builds on Monday’s article, part ten in the series titled “Complementary Contradictions.” Here is the transcript of the podcast.

Sometimes, you get conflicting words of advice, one which is good and the other which is not, and it requires discernment to determine which is the right advice to follow. But often, these seeming contradictions are, in reality, complementary and, when used appropriately and in the right way, can work together to help you make better decisions. In this series of articles and podcast episodes, we are looking at different leadership ideas or principles that seem to contradict, are opposite sides of the same coin, or at least differ from each other, and we are pairing them up to see how they actually complement each other to make you a better leader. This week, in part 10, we talk about becoming a teacher, and next week, in part 11, is a reminder that before you can teach, you must first be teachable.

We are pairing together two sides of the learning process: the teacher and the student. One side is responsible for cultivating growth in the other, and the other side is responsible for receiving and responding in order to cultivate growth in him or herself. As a teacher, your goal is to help others grow and develop. As a student, or learner, your goal is to continue to grow and develop yourself. Both of these are significant to your leadership, because they impact the kind of leader (and person) you are, and they impact the people you lead.

 In my first year as a teacher, I had tremendous enthusiasm and high hopes that I would be the kind of teacher who transforms students. In my mind, I was going to inspire them to love learning, run to my class, and engage with brilliant interactions and genuine, knowledge-seeking questions. And then, day one of year one happened. My image of myself as Edward James Olmos in “Stand and Deliver,” or as Robin Williams in “Dead Poets Society,” crashed into the reality of a classroom of 30 teenagers who didn’t want summer to end and didn’t know me from Adam. In my struggle to engage and challenge them, I set high expectations and worked really hard at being enthusiastic and unconventional. When the time came for me to administer my first test, I was eagerly anticipating seeing my teaching brilliance reflected in their outstanding answers. That’s not what happened. The majority of them . . . bombed the test. And I felt like I was failing as a teacher.

Over the course of the rest of that year, I did become a much better teacher, and continued getting better each year. In fact, in my fourth year of teaching, I was recognized as the teacher of the year in my school.  So, what happened between day one of my first year and the last day of my fourth year? I learned a lot about what it means to be a teacher.

 Here’s what I learned:

  • Teaching happens best in the context of relationship. I once heard someone say, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Truly impactful teaching most often happens when you have connected with the people you are teaching, have cultivated a genuine relationship with them, care about who they are, and they know it.

  • People want to be treated with dignity and respect, affirming their value and worth. In actuality, that is the same as treating them the way that God wants us to. Every person has been created in the image of God and has value to Him, and therefore, should have value to us. So, we need to treat them as such.  Don’t be condescending, sarcastic, or demeaning. Rather, be affirming and loving, and work to help them understand the why behind the what.

  • Students won’t be willing to listen if they don’t believe you and trust you. That only happens when they see that you are sincere and genuine, and that who you say you are and how you actually live and act match up to each other. In other words, they see that you are a person of integrity.  My dad would say, “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”

  • Trust is demonstrated when students are given the freedom and safety to learn and fail. Without that, they close down, as a matter of self-preservation. But when they are empowered to make choices and decisions and are supported and loved, rather than berated or rejected, when those choices turn out to be bad choices, it makes it safe for them to learn from their failure and try again.

When I made these things central to who I was as a teacher, my students responded, engaged, and learned.  The way I said this in the website article that corresponds to this podcast was this: teach with your heart, teach with your words, teach with your life, and teach with your responses.  The wonderful thing about these principles is that they don’t just apply to a classroom teacher.  They apply to anyone who is teaching others, whether that is formally or informally.

Here’s what you need to know, then. You are a teacher whether you are aware of it or not. People are following you, watching you, and listening to you, and they are learning from what they see and hear. That makes you a teacher. It is therefore important that you do it intentionally, so that you, as a teacher, can have the kind of influence you want to have. Pay attention to what you say, how you say it, how you model it, and how you respond to and engage with others.

 Deuteronomy 6 talks about how teaching happens all the time, both formally and informally. The fact is, you are already a teacher, even if you didn’t realize it, because you are modeling with your life, actions, and words, and others are learning from what they see and hear. Don’t let the lessons you teach with your actions, values, and words happen without conscious intent. Since you are already a teacher . . . do it with purpose!