Be A Better Leader: The Five Be-attitudes of Better Leadership (part 13, Be Trustworthy . . . by Being Transparent)
In this “Be A Better Leader” series of website articles and podcasts, I am talking about a variety of attributes, characteristics, and skills that are essential to effective leadership, and discussing how they are reflected in practice. I have grouped these things into five categories of what a leader ought to be, which is why I am labeling them as the “Be-attitudes of Better Leadership.” These five categories are: “Be Genuine,” “Be Relational,” “Be Trustworthy,” Be Knowledgeable,” and “Be Excellent.” We have already looked at being genuine and being relational, so today in part 13, I am concluding our discussion of the third category, “Be Trustworthy,” and more specifically, I am talking about the importance of being transparent.
When I was younger, I remember a deodorant commercial with the tagline, “Never let them see you sweat!” The point of the commercial was that if you used their product as your deodorant and antiperspirant, it would prevent or cover perspiration in highly active or high-stress environments. The underlying message was that you would be able to hide the effects of activity or stress, looking like it was simple and easy for you. It was all about presenting an image that would make people think you had it all together.
Think also about two contrasting expressions. The first one, “What you see is what you get,” conveys the idea that what is visible on the outside is a reflection of and reveals what is on the inside. But that’s not necessarily true of everyone and everything, because often people or circumstances are not what they appear to be, either in a good way or in a bad way. That’s why there is the conflicting expression, “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” which conveys the idea that what is on the outside is not necessarily a reflection of what’s on the inside. The deodorant commercial and these contradictory expressions all point to the question of transparency.
What is the question? It is this: is transparency a sign of weakness or a sign of strength for a leader? Brené Brown talked about this in her breakthrough book over a decade ago, Daring Greatly,” in which she talked about the value and importance of vulnerability. What she showed with research was that transparency is, actually, a measure of courage, and that cultivating vulnerability will make us better leaders. That doesn’t stop many of us from putting on a mask anyway.
Stemming from insecurity, in my school-age years and early in my leadership, I struggled with trying to make people think that made no mistakes, that I always had all the answers and always knew what I was doing. For me, that struggle began as early as 6th grade (or at least, that’s when I started to become aware of it), because that’s when I remember cheating on a 6th grade math homework assignment by changing an answer as the teacher was going over the answers in class, all because I didn’t want other students to think I didn’t know the right answer. As it turned out, the answer the teacher gave was incorrect, and my original answer had been the right one, and that experience seared itself into my memory. However, It still took me a while to learn and understand that people needed to see that I was just as flawed, if not more so, than anyone else.
You see, to be transparent is to be real. The alternative is to be fake (even deceitfully so). When you do that, people think you are hiding something, and you will lose trust. Yes, I think there are circumstances and information that need to be carefully guarded. My dad once said, “There is no shame in your struggle, but it’s still wise to be careful you who share it with.” But at the same time, if you always hide your vulnerability, you set yourself up as an unrealistic and unreachable example, because everyone else knows that they are not perfect, so if you try to make them think you are, they turn off and turn away.
Therefore, you need to be courageous enough to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and be real. When you do that, you may very well also be opening yourself up to criticism and judgment, but your impact will be greater! Share your struggle, tell the truth, and be genuine. When you do that, people will know that they can relate to you and trust you, and they will be much more willing to follow.
